How long?

[Langley]

I'm a newbie here.
I am sure this question has been asked a lot of times but here we go.
How long were you going out before you got engaged?
I'm mid 30's and have met the most wonderful woman. We have known each other for the last 4 years from running youth camps in the summer but only got it together last year. I am currently looking at jobs to be nearer to her etc. I am not rushing into this before you say anything, i am just curious as to what peoples thoughts are.
cheers

 

[Tenorvoice]

THere have been many different views on this, and I actually asked it over in the Married forum Here

 

[Weasel7711]

I'm a newbie here.
I am sure this question has been asked a lot of times but here we go.
How long were you going out before you got engaged?
I'm mid 30's and have met the most wonderful woman. We have known each other for the last 4 years from running youth camps in the summer but only got it together last year. I am currently looking at jobs to be nearer to her etc. I am not rushing into this before you say anything, i am just curious as to what peoples thoughts are.
cheers

my parents were married within 5 months of MEETING and they have been together 23 years and have a great marriage

ive been dating my GF for 4 months, I already KNOW I want to marry her, just giving it a few more months before proposal.

 

[Tenorvoice]

my parents were married within 5 months of MEETING and they have been together 23 years and have a great marriage

ive been dating my GF for 4 months, I already KNOW I want to marry her, just giving it a few more months before proposal.

Sounds like the singles forum will be loosing seom key posters soon

 

[Weasel7711]

Sounds like the singles forum will be loosing seom key posters soon

oh definately, but we cant get married for another year and a half, id like to finish my bachelors degree so we wont be dirt poor, just regular poor

 

[Gardener101]

1 Year and three days to be exact.



lol

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

1 year. Exactly.
But we had been friends for about 5 years before dating that one year. So.. that helped.

 

[Maramixi]

I'd say it completely depends on the two specific people. Me and my fiancee only dated about five months when we got engaged, but he told me he knew he wanted to marry me the first time he said he loved me, which was only after three.

At the same time though, I know lots of people who would be uncomfortable getting engaged that soon.

It really just depends.

 

[plum]

Parents: dated, engaged, and married within 6 months.
Brother: met to married within 1 year.
English prof: met and married within 1 month!

It all depends!

 

[Gardener101]

Personally, I feel that if you are so certain that you are going to spend the rest of your life with that person, then why the rush? You have the rest of your life together, so what is the harm in waiting a few more months before you get engaged or get hitched?

And please don't say "lack of sexual activity!"

 

[Kristin364]

My fiance and I dated for almost 6 years before he proposed...but then again, we started dating when were 15!

Not to put a damper on things, but my mom got remarried to man whom she dated for about...5 months maybe? Anyway, the guy turned out to be a selfish pig and he also cheated on her. Not one of my mom's better decisions - I pray for her.

 

[Maramixi]

Personally, I feel that if you are so certain that you are going to spend the rest of your life with that person, then why the rush? You have the rest of your life together, so what is the harm in waiting a few more months before you get engaged or get hitched?

And please don't say "lack of sexual activity!"

LOL! If you need include that last line then I think you know the answer.

For some people that's just fine and they are okay with it. Then you have people like my fiancee, who brought up eloping twice in one week. *rolls eyes*

Hence I say, it really just depends on the couple.

 

[shaslove]

Met: 3 days after Easter, 2006
Officially courting: May 7, 2006
Engaged: January 7, 2007
Getting Married: July 7, 2007

 

[Langley]

Thanks for all the replies. I will marrier her but i am not going to rush into it. Well not just yet. Just been thinking about it for a while that's all.

I would much appreicate your prayers as i start looking for jobs, all a bit scary being out of my comfort zone but exciting as well. I am trusting in God in all aspects of this relationship.

Thanks again for sharing your thought etc.

L

 

[Tuffguy]

Since i'm soon to be engaged it will be about 2.5 years. It would have been sooner except for circumstances and long distance. Lots of things happened that neither one of us could control.

 

[Nova Scotian Boy]

I think it really depends on the individuals. People can go what seems a long time. A Pastor i worked with and is good friends with, met a girl almost immediately started dateing, and within 10 days were engaged.

Was talking to his mother on the phone she said "Oh how are things with that girl you just started dateing?"

He replies, "Oh great, i asked her to marry me" his mother drops the phone and starts crying in shock. At whitch his father grabs the phone and yells. "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO YOUR MOTHER?"

They have been married 30 years now, but id say unless your 100% sure thats the one, then to slow things down.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

When I hear about people getting engaged and married within a few months I think danger. That's great that it's worked out for some. If both have the commitment to work on the marriage and not run when things get tough, then it can work. But, how do you really know that the person is one of those who will stick around if you don't even know them well? People are on their best behaviour in the beginning.

By the mid-30's I think a year could be enough. I think short engagements are the way to go. I also think everyone should take a marriage preparedness course that walks through the typical areas that cause problems in marriage. You get engaged and plan the wedding asap. My opinion.

 

[ChristianGirl1286]

We dated for almost a year, but not quite...However, we've been engaged for a year, and are still waiting another year (We wish to finish Bible School before we get married)

 

[littlemrs]

We dated for 2 years when he asked me to marry him. It's been nearly two years since then, so when we marry we'll have been together for 4 years.

 

[Langley]

Like i have said, we have known each other for over 4 years working on the same youth camp together as leaders. It is a fairly good way to know someone and how they re-act in situations when running such camps. I have seen her annoyed, angry and happy, she has seen the same in me during our relationship.

The discussions we have had over this last weekend have been good about the future of our relationship. The things said were not flippent remarks but serious ones. We are meeting this weekend so will continue the conversations.
I know there are pros and cons of getting engaged after what some see as a short time. The other question is if you know you want to spend the rest of my life with this person why wait?!
Each relationship and the circustances around it are different for each person.

Oh, having only met the folks once i guess it is still the done thing to ask the father etc.