How does the bible define marriage.

[Hank77]

Therefore, in Leviticus, God set the rules in stone (literally!) that there is to be one husband and one wife together.

Actually the Law of Moses allows for more than one wife at the same time. We can know this because the Law says that if a man took another wife and denied his first wife her rights as his wife then she was allowed to leave him. Ex 21:10-11.
Also the brother or next closest kin of a man who had died was to marry the brother's widow and bear children with her. We see this in Ruth and in the Law, Deut. 25:5-9.

But doesn't the religious ceremony make it holy matrimony, which gives the marriage a sacred and religious context and meaning?

Did Adam and Eve or Issac and Rebecca have a religious ceremony?

But how did the Institution itself exist before God spoke to Moses and gave him a covenant?

God made covenants with people before the Law of Moses. Noah and Abraham both had covenants with God.
I wouldn't call marriage an Institution, it is a personal relationship between a man and a woman.

 

[Sammy-San]

Actually the Law of Moses allows for more than one wife at the same time. We can know this because the Law says that if a man took another wife and denied his first wife her rights as his wife then she was allowed to leave him. Ex 21:10-11.
Also the brother or next closest kin of a man who had died was to marry the brother's widow and bear children with her. We see this in Ruth and in the Law, Deut. 25:5-9.

Did Adam and Eve or Issac and Rebecca have a religious ceremony?

God made covenants with people before the Law of Moses. Noah and Abraham both had covenants with God.
I wouldn't call marriage an Institution, it is a personal relationship between a man and a woman.

I don't know about that. If two people in a committed relationship move in together, that in and of itself is not a marriage.

 

[Hank77]

I don't know about that. If two people in a committed relationship move in together, that in and of itself is not a marriage.

I agree they would have to declare that they are married and present themselves to the community as married. If they were to want to end that marriage they would have to get a divorce.
Issac and Rebecca were definitely married.
Under the Law of Moses you will not see any legal action or religious ceremony that must be taken/done to be married but there is legal actions that must to taken to divorce.

 

[mikedsjr]

While that might be true, Christ Himself gave a better outline of marriage:

1). Between one man and one woman.
2). No Divorce (except for infidelity).
3). Marrying a divorcee (except for infidelity) is considered adultery.
4). Sex without marriage is forbidden.

That pretty much sums the whole thing up. Not sure what else really needed to be said.

EDIT: I will admit that nowadays we also have abusive relationships where one spouse will physically abuse the other. I don't know if Christ would make an exception for these kinds of toxic relationships or not, but I've heard a few pastors who seem to lean that way, that abusive spouses would be included in "acceptable divorce". Christ never said that in the Bible, but then again, I wonder just how many husbands abused their wives back during His ministry.

When I've heard pastor who valued the points allow divorce for abuse it was typically because legal actions to handle the situation. Divorce alone isn't the issue. Divorce and remarriage apart from adultery is.

 

[Xalith]

When I've heard pastor who valued the points allow divorce for abuse it was typically because legal actions to handle the situation. Divorce alone isn't the issue. Divorce and remarriage apart from adultery is.

But then you run into the problem of someone being punished for nothing, and does God really punish someone for the rest of their life for something they didn't even do?

Consider a kindly and faithful woman who meets a man and falls in love with him, only she doesn't know that this man has a hidden violent side to him. They date, and this violent side of him never arises because she's not around him enough during dating.

They marry after, say, a couple years of dating and things go well the first year or two and they have a child. Things start falling apart fast; the man starts getting frustrated, perhaps he starts drinking or what-not and becomes violent towards her and their child. She tries for years to make it work, she tries prayer, she tries calming him down, she tries counseling, but she inevitably ends up divorcing him because of his violent behavior. Maybe he even spends a stint in jail because of domestic abuse.

So now she's divorced. If we take adultery as the only reason someone can divorce and re-marry, this poor woman who did nothing wrong in the matter is now punished the rest of her life. She can't re-marry (assuming we're only allowing for divorce because of adultery), and she's now forced to live on her own. Let's say she married at a young age and was a housewife. She's supposed to somehow get a job and support a child on her own?

Does God punish people who did nothing wrong?

This is why pastors say that domestic abuse could (but we have no proof of) be another "valid" reason for divorce. Perhaps domestic abuse didn't exist much back then, and that's why it wasn't mentioned. I don't know. It just doesn't seem like the character of God to punish someone in this situation by forcing them to remain single the rest of their lives. Even widows are allowed to re-marry (I've not read anything in the Bible that says a widow can't marry again).

 

[mikedsjr]

But then you run into the problem of someone being punished for nothing, and does God really punish someone for the rest of their life for something they didn't even do?

Consider a kindly and faithful woman who meets a man and falls in love with him, only she doesn't know that this man has a hidden violent side to him. They date, and this violent side of him never arises because she's not around him enough during dating.

They marry after, say, a couple years of dating and things go well the first year or two and they have a child. Things start falling apart fast; the man starts getting frustrated, perhaps he starts drinking or what-not and becomes violent towards her and their child. She tries for years to make it work, she tries prayer, she tries calming him down, she tries counseling, but she inevitably ends up divorcing him because of his violent behavior. Maybe he even spends a stint in jail because of domestic abuse.

So now she's divorced. If we take adultery as the only reason someone can divorce and re-marry, this poor woman who did nothing wrong in the matter is now punished the rest of her life. She can't re-marry (assuming we're only allowing for divorce because of adultery), and she's now forced to live on her own. Let's say she married at a young age and was a housewife. She's supposed to somehow get a job and support a child on her own?

Does God punish people who did nothing wrong?

This is why pastors say that domestic abuse could (but we have no proof of) be another "valid" reason for divorce. Perhaps domestic abuse didn't exist much back then, and that's why it wasn't mentioned. I don't know. It just doesn't seem like the character of God to punish someone in this situation by forcing them to remain single the rest of their lives. Even widows are allowed to re-marry (I've not read anything in the Bible that says a widow can't marry again).

a cost of commitment to God.

 

[mikedsjr]

I agree they would have to declare that they are married and present themselves to the community as married. If they were to want to end that marriage they would have to get a divorce.
Issac and Rebecca were definitely married.
Under the Law of Moses you will not see any legal action or religious ceremony that must be taken/done to be married but there is legal actions that must to taken to divorce.

Do you have a minimalist worldview? Curious.

 

[Sammy-San]

Before Judaism and Christianity, there was creation, and God performed the first marriage. It was Adam who prophetically defined marriage as one man and one woman who "shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:23,24), but in doing so he also prophesied about the mystery of the union of Christ and His Church (the Lamb's Wife) (Eph 5:30-33). The institution of marriage is worldwide, and goes back all the way to creation, but Christian marriage is supposed to typify the union and communion of Christ and His eternal Wife.

How was Adam and Eve being married similar to the modern institution of marriage?

 

[Xalith]

How was Adam and Eve being married similar to the modern institution of marriage?

Man + Woman marry, and have children? Sounds a lot like what we have going on today, right? Except for that Supreme Court decision.... but the Supreme Court knows as much about the Bible as an ISIS terrorist knows about peace.

That's kinda straightforward, right? Now they probably didn't do the whole wedding thing that we know today, however, the Bible DOES very clearly allude to Jewish weddings throughout the OT, and it works like this:

1). Man + Woman want to marry.
2). Man pays Woman's father a dowry.
3). Man goes to his father's house to build an addition onto the house for her and the children.
4). Woman waits and is "set apart" and continues to live with her parents, she does not know when her groom will come to get her.
5). Man goes and gets the woman when he is ready; he oftentimes surprised her on purpose sometimes during the middle of the night. She was to always be ready.
6). The actual wedding is held.
7). A 7-day marriage supper happens.

Gee, that sounds familiar, right?

If you want some allusions to this in the Old Testament, look up the Book of Ruth among others. Also, Jacob in Genesis had to go through 14 years of labor to get the wife he wanted.

Now, in the Old Testament, men commonly had multiple wives (again, Jacob) but Jesus made it very clear that Christians are to have 1 and only 1 spouse with no divorce (except for reasons of infidelity).

 

[dragongunner]

But then you run into the problem of someone being punished for nothing, and does God really punish someone for the rest of their life for something they didn't even do?

Consider a kindly and faithful woman who meets a man and falls in love with him, only she doesn't know that this man has a hidden violent side to him. They date, and this violent side of him never arises because she's not around him enough during dating.

They marry after, say, a couple years of dating and things go well the first year or two and they have a child. Things start falling apart fast; the man starts getting frustrated, perhaps he starts drinking or what-not and becomes violent towards her and their child. She tries for years to make it work, she tries prayer, she tries calming him down, she tries counseling, but she inevitably ends up divorcing him because of his violent behavior. Maybe he even spends a stint in jail because of domestic abuse.

So now she's divorced. If we take adultery as the only reason someone can divorce and re-marry, this poor woman who did nothing wrong in the matter is now punished the rest of her life. She can't re-marry (assuming we're only allowing for divorce because of adultery), and she's now forced to live on her own. Let's say she married at a young age and was a housewife. She's supposed to somehow get a job and support a child on her own?

Does God punish people who did nothing wrong?

This is why pastors say that domestic abuse could (but we have no proof of) be another "valid" reason for divorce. Perhaps domestic abuse didn't exist much back then, and that's why it wasn't mentioned. I don't know. It just doesn't seem like the character of God to punish someone in this situation by forcing them to remain single the rest of their lives. Even widows are allowed to re-marry (I've not read anything in the Bible that says a widow can't marry again).

You also could of just said what Paul said also…."…If the unbelieving depart, let them depart, a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases…" Some one abusing, beating, cheating has departed from the faith and show that in their actions wether they have moved out or not. Its not always so clear cut as "adultery" only I agree, and the scriptures show us that.

 

[Hank77]

Do you have a minimalist worldview? Curious.

I'm not sure what you are asking. If you mean when it comes to Biblical accounts and evidence I'd say I am more of a maximalist. If you are referring to my social worldview I lean toward a minimalist view, even though I try not to be when it comes to politics.

 

[A greater Hope]

Marriage existed before Judaism and Christianity. That confuses me, because Judaism and Christianity were how God first revealed through prophets how he wanted people to live. In indigenous cultures, and even in different cultures around the world, what defines it is different.

What is the bibical definition, exactly? I'm confused. I was always interested in analyzing every detail of the Bible, but this is one topic that I find somewhat enigmatic.

I've heard people say the legal institution of marriage is different (but yet closely connected) to the religious sacrament of matrimony. Is that true or false?

 

[A greater Hope]

Marriage is hornorible and the bed undefiled.

 

[Hank77]

3). Man goes to his father's house to build an addition onto the house for her and the children.
4). Woman waits and is "set apart" and continues to live with her parents, she does not know when her groom will come to get her.
5). Man goes and gets the woman when he is ready; he oftentimes surprised her on purpose sometimes during the middle of the night. She was to always be ready.
6). The actual wedding is held.
7). A 7-day marriage supper happens.

Would you please tell me where you see these things described in the scriptures? Thanks.

 

[Xalith]

Would you please tell me where you see these things described in the scriptures? Thanks.

First, read up on Jewish Weddings:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_views_on_marriage

Now, once you've skimmed over that (mainly the first two sections, which mentions the bride-to-be living at her parents' house), I'll outline the rest:

The thing in the quote block are alluded to (but not defined in) the Scriptures; they are Jewish tradition. However, you CAN see the Parallels between Jewish Tradition and the Marriage of the Lamb, such as....

1). Man + Woman want to marry.
2). Man pays Woman's father a dowry.

Genesis 29 outlines Jacob paying a dowry (7 years of labor for Leah and then Rachel), Christ paid the price on the Cross.

3). Man goes to his father's house to build an addition onto the house for her and the children.

I can't think of any scriptures that state this in Jewish tradition (you can wiki this), however Christ speaks of it in John 14:2-3.

4). Woman waits and is "set apart" and continues to live with her parents, she does not know when her groom will come to get her.

Again, not specifically mentioned in Scripture, but you can wiki Jewish Tradition. The Bride of Christ is to "set herself apart", that is, to Be Holy and stay away from sin (many many passages, I don't think I need to list)

5). Man goes and gets the woman when he is ready; he oftentimes surprised her on purpose sometimes during the middle of the night. She was to always be ready.

Luke 12:40 says that Christ will come "in such an hour as ye think not" which obviously alludes to it being a surprise.

6). The actual wedding is held.
7). A 7-day marriage supper happens.

There's a marriage supper in John 2, and then there's the Marriage Supper of the Lamb in Heaven (Revelation 19:9).

 

[Hank77]

First, read up on Jewish Weddings:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_views_on_marriage

Now, once you've skimmed over that (mainly the first two sections, which mentions the bride-to-be living at her parents' house), I'll outline the rest:

The thing in the quote block are alluded to (but not defined in) the Scriptures; they are Jewish tradition. However, you CAN see the Parallels between Jewish Tradition and the Marriage of the Lamb, such as....



Genesis 29 outlines Jacob paying a dowry (7 years of labor for Leah and then Rachel), Christ paid the price on the Cross.



I can't think of any scriptures that state this in Jewish tradition (you can wiki this), however Christ speaks of it in John 14:2-3.



Again, not specifically mentioned in Scripture, but you can wiki Jewish Tradition. The Bride of Christ is to "set herself apart", that is, to Be Holy and stay away from sin (many many passages, I don't think I need to list)



Luke 12:40 says that Christ will come "in such an hour as ye think not" which obviously alludes to it being a surprise.



There's a marriage supper in John 2, and then there's the Marriage Supper of the Lamb in Heaven (Revelation 19:9).

Thank you for your detailed reply. Just wondered if I had been missing something about these Jewish traditions that I hadn't seen in the OT. I suspect that they developed over time as traditions usually do.

The Jewish wedding traditions are beautiful in that they do represent some things found in scripture such as the huppah/chuppah. It is literally a covering such as over the nuptial bed, like a canopy bed. The word is used three times in the OT. Ps. 19:9, Joel 2:16, and Is 4:5. Isiah 4:5 is really neat, the protective covering of the glory of God. Both of the other verses refer to the bedchamber.

 

[Sammy-San]

Recently someone told me that the institution of marriage that was practiced throughout the ages existed before "paper you're referring to was" invented.

So I'm confused now.

How should I respond? He was saying that marriage isn't defined by paper.

 

[Xalith]

Recently someone told me that the institution of marriage that was practiced throughout the ages existed before "paper you're referring to was" invented.

So I'm confused now.

How should I respond? He was saying that marriage isn't defined by paper.

Marriage was practiced since Adam and Eve.

And no, it isn't defined by paper. True Marriage is a union between a man and a woman by God with witness(es) present (usually a preacher/pastor/minister).

Now, in the USA, marriage by law requires papers, and all sorts of stuff that God probably doesn't really care about so much (though He would have you do it so that you stay within the laws of man as He commanded us to in the Bible).

 

[A greater Hope]

Recently someone told me that the institution of marriage that was practiced throughout the ages existed before "paper you're referring to was" invented.

So I'm confused now.

How should I respond? He was saying that marriage isn't defined by paper.

It's ok to be confused about the matter but God forbid that you stay confused.Now that the light has come will you stay in the dark?
Hebrews 13-4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
My friend the first marriage ever instituted in the scriptures is Adam and his helpmate Eve ordained and joined by God himself.search the scriptures for in them is words of life to them that believe by Faith in Jesus,
Shalom.

 

[Sammy-San]

Marriage was practiced since Adam and Eve.

And no, it isn't defined by paper. True Marriage is a union between a man and a woman by God with witness(es) present (usually a preacher/pastor/minister).

Now, in the USA, marriage by law requires papers, and all sorts of stuff that God probably doesn't really care about so much (though He would have you do it so that you stay within the laws of man as He commanded us to in the Bible).

So what was marriage in the bible if it wasn't papers?