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How does an autistic person accept themself?

Discussion in 'Autism & Aspergers' started by Ben Collyer, Dec 14, 2017.

  1. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    I struggle to understand how God can expect me to accept myself and love myself when he has created me defective, mandated that the entirety of the first 22 years of my life be one of rejection and bullying, humiliation and everything else.

    How does God command me to be full of joy and peace yet rob me of the things that usually make life worth living?

    How can I accept myself as autistic? I reject myself!
     
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  2. Cat Loaf You

    Cat Loaf You Active Member

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    No idea but i'm the same . For example i need 12 hours to do work which normal person does in 8 hours , leaving me with less time and tired for other stuffs which cause not having many friends too because i'm just too tired to do stuff .
     
  3. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

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    Sin/the Fall of Man makes us defective. Absent that, everything else about us is good and desirable to God. That is why Jesus came to redeem us. Our autism is just a different neurology/personality type that He cherishes among the other varieties.
     
  4. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    but autism is a result of a genetic error. it wouldn't exist if it wasnt for the fall
     
  5. Jenniferdiana

    Jenniferdiana Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You can accept yourself by knowing God accepts and love you as you are..Jesus suffered was rejected and humiliated yet he asked God to forgive them..what makes your life worth living?
     
  6. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    For some reason, the knowledge of knowing God accepts me doesent seem to help, maybe I dont really understand it or believe it, or maybe I feel that Im just an object of his pity, rather than someone he delights in
     
  7. SeraTaru

    SeraTaru Member

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    Did you read and ponder any of the detailed and lengthy replies you got yesterday Ben where people took time to share their own struggles with you in the hope it could help with your perspective?
     
  8. _-iconoclast-_

    _-iconoclast-_ I live by faith in the Son of God.

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    Hello.

    Love yourself. Be patient with yourself and know that you have something to offer. We all have purpose and we all can be the best we can, no matter the limitations.

    God did not rob you. You were made the way you are and nothing will change that. It does not mean you are less or unworthy. We are told to endure.

    With all the trials, test and tribulation, you will come out the otherside stronger and more durable - through Jesus Christ - than you could ever think.

    Your purpose may be something no other person can do or a within a group of those who can. God may have a gift for you.

    Do not despair. Love, faith and hope are important if not vital to the believer. Stay strong in the face of adversity.

    Love yourself, you are a marvel and wanted. If you dont accept yourself no one else will. Be confident in Jesus and take on the world. :)
     
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  9. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    indeed but im not sure they were related to self acceptance my friend.
     
  10. Jenniferdiana

    Jenniferdiana Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You care what others think. Not what God thinks..if God mattered to you you would only care what he thinks. You know God accept us as we are. He is love and he doesnt reject anyone. He delights in you. He sees your struggles. Look i dont know what its like to be autism but what God is mostly concern with is our hearts and souls..
     
  11. DW1980

    DW1980 Don Supporter

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    Hi

    I'm responding to this, but I am not autistic - though my nephew and niece are, so I have people I love who will deal with the very things you are. I am responding because my struggle was similar but different. Sometimes I've found it can help to try and see a similar issue for a different perspective.

    I became a Christian when I was 14, but left the Church when I was 19. I threw away almost everything connected to Church, cut off Christian friends, and started over. I did that asking the very same question you are asking. How could God create me this way? And yes, there was bullying, and endless well-meaning Christians giving me "advice".

    I know this may being me issues in being so open, but I stopped living a double life a long time ago now. This was my problem: I'm gay.

    I desperately wanted nothing more than to be straight. I prayed, cried myself to sleep most nights, and begged God to cure me or let me die. And I meant that. I'd have killed myself if suicide wasn't a sin! I thank God now that he didn't answer that prayer!

    I used to ask God, "how can you create me like this, and then tell me I can never fall in love?". "How can you ask me to spend my life alone?" Lots of Christians used to say, "but you are not alone, you have Jesus". Very nice when most of them were wearing wedding bands. Clearly not enough for them! They clearly meant well, but they had no idea of the hell I was living through.

    Being gay is also largely genetic, and a result of the fall. I definitely didn't choose this. So the questions I had were similar. 8 years later I came back to faith, and have now reconciled my faith and sexuality (not for discussion here). Here is what I have learned, I hope some of it will translate to your situation.

    A lot of the issues we can have are made more difficult because the communities we live in don't understand what we are dealing with. It's too easy to simplify things for them because they are not living the experience. For them it's either theoretical or theological, for us it's our very lives.

    As a result of all of this, we start to reject ourselves based on an "ideal" that really doesn't exist. The ideal is Jesus, and none of us match up to that! We are all defective because of the fall. For me it's being gay, for you it's autism. For others its illness, addictions, you name it - everyone has issues. But before we start rejecting ourselves we need to be honest. Is this my fault? Can I change it? Addictions can be overcome (even if it takes our whole life). Illness maybe not. But denying you are ill won't help. Such a person needs to accept the diagnosis and accept the treatment, right? I guess what I am saying is that if you don't accept who you are, you're not going to move forward.

    Whether it's being gay or autistic, we didn't choose this. It's just part of who we are. So it isn't something you can reject.

    Jesus said "you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32 NIV). There are two ways you (and I mean YOU) should take this statement.

    The first is knowing the truth about yourself. You are autistic, but you are so much more than that. It's part of who you are, but it's not who you are. It's not the most important thing about you. I am a Christian man who happens to be gay. You are a Christian man who happens to be autistic. I hope that makes sense! Because it's innate, fighting it or rejecting it isn't setting you free is it? It's probably making things worse for you, right? Why? Because, as Jesus said, the TRUTH will set you free. So accepting it sets you free. From there you can start dealing with the "how do I live with this" questions. You do not have to accept the bullying, the humiliation etc. You are a human being, a beloved son of God. THAT is first and foremost who you are.

    The other way to take this is that Jesus said he IS the truth - and he can set you free.

    Jesus knew who you are when he chose to die for you. You have immense value to God - he loves you and accepts you - and he knows the struggles you are facing.

    Autism brings it's own unique challenges, and you have a role in educating your communities about what it means for you, how they can help you, and I hope that they accept you.

    I hope that some of this is helpful. I'll be praying for you brother.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2017
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  12. DW1980

    DW1980 Don Supporter

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    Just to comment on this one, maybe you do need to spend time with God on this. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.". This is what you need to do! Reject the lie that you are somehow unworthy of God's love, that you are an object to be pitied.

    I know, without a shadow of a doubt that you are not an object of his pity. Jesus said that the thief (the devil) comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That's what he wants for you. It's not what God wants for you.

    Ben, God does love you, more than you will ever know. He came here to die for you. He wants you to know his love. Maybe your journey needs to start by accepting his love for you? His heart is breaking right now, because he is full of love for you, and you're not seeing it. I don't mean that in a judgmental way, but rather that you have a relationship with God that needs healing. Let the Holy Spirit in - let him show you what God thinks, embrace, and rest in the love of Father God :)
     
  13. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    Most important to remember God loves us just the way we are.

    Fact more people being born with Autism than before.

    Note (it's hard for all of us) but, we must keep our sights set on Jesus and Heaven.

    Understood it is not easy for you.

    A supportive church is a great place.

    M-Bob
     
  14. Cat Loaf You

    Cat Loaf You Active Member

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    You can always compare yourself to yourself in future . In future when we enter eternity your whole life will be forgotten anyways , you probably don't remember all things which happend to you in these 20 years , compare that short memory to future eternal life , to imagine let's say 100M years , in that time so many things will happen in heaven that your 20 years will look like nothing and you will no longer remember it .
     
  15. rockytopva

    rockytopva Love to pray! :) Supporter

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    For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: - Proverbs 23:7a

    I would begin by not confessing such things.
     
  16. SeventyOne

    SeventyOne Well-Known Member

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    How I accept myself is easy. God broke no promises to me concerning the way I am, and since this is what I am, I either deal with it or I don't. I have but one brief life on this earth and I'm not going to spend it in self-pity, especially when the time is coming where I'll have a glorified body and won't even recall this brief flash of time.
     
  17. SeraTaru

    SeraTaru Member

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    They were related to suffering, the condition of the world and struggles that we all go through.

    Until you take your problem to the Lord and surrender "who you are" to him and accept that He created you exactly the way you are for His own purposes...you'll be stuck at this point for a long, long time.

    Psalm 139 says

    For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

    My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

    Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

    Have you ever thanked God for making you just the way you are?
     
  18. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    I did thank him once for making me as I am, but then quickly returned to depression
     
  19. SeraTaru

    SeraTaru Member

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    So repentance from the sin that God repeatedly calls an abomination didn't work then?

    Interesting...I'll have to remember that if I ever cheat on my wife...I'll just say "but honey you know this is the way God made me"....then I'll just blame God, accept myself, continue cheating but give God the credit for it.

    I may even make a little flag and demand my colleagues in work accept my adultery as well....

    Rubbish. You can't compare willfully wallowing in sin with someone having a genuine illness.

    Insulting to the OP and more insulting to Christ.
     
  20. Ben Collyer

    Ben Collyer Well-Known Member

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    I appreciate the heart behind your message and the overall message but I disagree that being gay is genetic, I think it is an outward expression of the sinful heart and rebellion against God. you were not born gay
     
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