How do you manage stress?

[RBPerry]

Inkfingers, in the nicest possible way, can I say that's not what's causing my stress. I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but it's not helpful to assume where my attitude must be wrong.

To give you some idea, in the last year:

- My daughter was diagnosed with autism
- A close friend took five months to die from a debilitating brain injury, during which time I spent large amounts of time caring for her and her family (and her family afterwards)
- I moved from one job to another, and discovered that the second job had significant problems I hadn't been told about (botched merger of two parishes; huge and ongoing issues there)
- I moved house
- Family support I might normally have relied on has been unavailable for reasons too long to detail here.

And so on. That's just the big stuff.

I'm not "wound up over how the universe should be." I'm exhausted and running on empty. I'm processing significant grief. And because I'm a parent of a young child with special needs, and I'm in ministry, my avenues for self-care are limited. Which is why I posted here (the ministry forum), wondering what other people who would have experience of this particular vocation and its demands might have found useful in similarly demanding times.

On a scale of 1 to 10 your stress level is about a 12, and you need to find a way to relieve that stress. What works for one person, may not for another. Stress is also a killer, if not dealt with it can kill you physically, mentally, and professionally.
I would talk to your priest and ask for some professional counseling. Internet advice if ok to a point, but excessive stress can also lead to severe depression. It's kind of like a tooth ach, it doesn't just go away, it needs to be fixed.

 

[Peter J Barban]

When under intense stress use the "Cry-Pray-Nap" method.

I get alone in a dark place and lay down, even the floor is OK. Then I silently cry/cry out to God, expressing my inability to cope with whatever is causing the stress. Next, I ask God for help to overcome the problem. I continue to cry and pray until I fall asleep.

I wake up in 20 minutes or so, feeling more relaxed and loved by God.

 

[teresa]

Paidiske, how are you doing with your stress levels now that the holidays are over?

Have you been able to make any more changes to help?

 

[Paidiske]

The cleaner is getting organised; that is a big thing. And when school starts in February that will be a big thing, too; because the pint-sized chaos machine will be getting so much more of her needs met by a bigger team.

Work stuff is complicated and I'm not sure what will happen there. There's a very real possibility of moving on, but then the question is, to what? I think part of the anxiety here is not being clear what God would really have me do. But possibilities are being explored.

I started melatonin, too, which is helping me to regulate my sleep. I think if I can get the sleep right (rather than running on constant sleep deprivation), other things will be easier to manage. (For example, if I sleep well, I might stop eating as much junk for quick energy fixes, and it will be easier to find the energy to exercise...)

 

[brinny]

Comedy. I didn't realize how much i had missed Ricky Smiley and ev'ry one on Dish Nation until recently when i accidentally came across them on Youtube. They're hilarious. I used to watch them a couple of years ago when i still watched tv. They came on late at night, and had me crackin' up.....they all laugh soooo hard and in unison, that they nearly fall off their chairs, and so do i....

 

[brinny]

When under intense stress use the "Cry-Pray-Nap" method.

I get alone in a dark place and lay down, even the floor is OK. Then I silently cry/cry out to God, expressing my inability to cope with whatever is causing the stress. Next, I ask God for help to overcome the problem. I continue to cry and pray until I fall asleep.

I wake up in 20 minutes or so, feeling more relaxed and loved by God.

Awwwwwww......that reminds me of David....he did that too.....

i should do that more....

 

[brinny]

The cleaner is getting organised; that is a big thing. And when school starts in February that will be a big thing, too; because the pint-sized chaos machine will be getting so much more of her needs met by a bigger team.

Work stuff is complicated and I'm not sure what will happen there. There's a very real possibility of moving on, but then the question is, to what? I think part of the anxiety here is not being clear what God would really have me do. But possibilities are being explored.

I started melatonin, too, which is helping me to regulate my sleep. I think if I can get the sleep right (rather than running on constant sleep deprivation), other things will be easier to manage. (For example, if I sleep well, I might stop eating as much junk for quick energy fixes, and it will be easier to find the energy to exercise...)

pint-sized chaos machine

What is the pint-sized chaos machine?

 

[Paidiske]

Pint-sized chaos machine - five years old and full of beans!

 

[brinny]

View attachment 187939
Pint-sized chaos machine - five years old and full of beans!

LOL!

She's aDOREable

 

[Paidiske]

Well, I think so, but I know I'm probably biased.

 

[Greg J.]

God thinks so, too. Your "bias" makes you able to see the truth better than others.

 

[brinny]

Well, I think so, but I know I'm probably biased.

Hahaaaaaa

 

[Tull]

I don't manage it,it comes when it comes and goes when it goes.

 

[Goodbook]

Did i post something here before?

I myself do not handle stress as well as other people. Going on retreat helps. Although you will have to leave your husband behind, its a mAtter of trust that he can handle the household by himself. Do you actually trust him?! It could be you one of these controlling people who dont realise it and have to learn to let go of things that are not actually your responisbility. Sit at Jesus feet. Dont be like Martha fussing and fretting over the meal.

Do you have help for your daughter? Like your mum?

If running on empty, fill up on prayer.

 

[Paidiske]

Not a lot of help. This last year my mum has had temporary custody of three of my brother's children (that's a whole other long story) and I haven't wanted to burden her any more than that. My husband's parents have moved to another state.

 

[Peter J Barban]

Studies show that the happiest group of women are homemakers who work/volunteer a few days a week outside the home. This pattern is said to greatly reduce stress.

If you can afford it, it may be better to follow their example.

 

[Paidiske]

I'm not one of those women. That, for me, is a fast track to severe depression.

 

[Cimorene]

My friend gave me advice on how to manage stress & it's worked out pretty well for me. This is it in a nutshell.
Cut out distractions that take up time & your focus. It's why I self banned last fall & am about to again, bc time on this forum was needed elsewhere. I was super stressed out bc I had practice for the holiday shows for my orchestra, school, SAT prep. You have more time in the day than you think, if you cut out the stuff that you don't need to be doing & just give your time to what you do need to do.
Focus on 1 thing at a time, so you don't get overwhelmed.
Keep track of everything you need to do on your phone.
Run & do yoga every day bc endorphins help a lot. It's something you can take control over even when you feel like there's so much stuff you can't take control over
Set aside time to pray

 

[Goodbook]

It seems you worrying about your future and feeling unsettled when God tells us not to worry about anything but pray about everything.


Im assuming you have a capable husband who can look after your daughter while you go away on retreat and spend important prayer time with God.it can be just a weekend or three days but its esssential you make the the time to do this.

 

[kimberlyw]

Read the word, then read it some more. No matter what firey dart the evil one sends the promises of God mends.