How do you manage stress?

[Armoured]

Thanks, armoured, much appreciated.

Sadly, I'm in Melbourne, so I can't take you up on it.

Head smacking with steel object might get me into trouble, too... too bad I gave up fencing when I fell pregnant!

Fencing is how I got started in it. Oh well, next time I'm down there, or your up here, we'll catch up

 

[teresa]

so,, my burdens get lifted when people help me out some....

this is what I mean

 

[Tull]

I don't manage them,i just ride them out,to be alive is to be under some sort of stress even if its the stress of knowing that one day you wont be alive.

 

[Paidiske]

a pastor I once knew, found someone to fill in so he could take a much-needed break for a while.

would a break from church responsibilities be helpful to you and would it be do-able?

can you have someone to come in and allow for you to have some time alone every day, apart from child care or ministry?

can you ask anyone from your flock or from personal family or friends or neighbors to help out in any way?

I could take some leave, but the problem is, it's just swapping one set of work for another. I joke that I go to work for my "days off" from parenting, but there's quite a bit of truth to the joke. Genuine free time, where I can do whatever I like on my own, is my rarest luxury.

What I am planning to do is start getting a cleaner to come in once a fortnight. If I can get it so that I don't have to mop the floors, scrub the bath, etc, it takes one set of issues off my plate and makes everything else that little bit easier. Took me a while to convince my husband about this, but I told him to see the expense as an investment in our marriage!

 

[Radagast]

What I am planning to do is start getting a cleaner to come in once a fortnight.

That's a great idea!

And I know very little about your situation, so I say this very tentatively, but sometimes it's good to develop the strength to say "no" to a suggestion that you do something.

 

[alexier]

Do you get money for retreats where you are Paidiske? Here in the UK we have a fab place called 'The Society of Mary and Martha' - they may have one there....this is a bit of what they are about...
We set up the Society of Mary and Martha to support people in ministry at times of stress, crisis, burnout or breakdown. Here is something about our founding story and ethos.

Ask for what you need and we'll do our very best to help. We're good space in a crisis and good space for your regular retreats (and nobody needs to know which it is).

Its an excellent resource and we get £50 off as Clergy.

 

[Paidiske]

There's a convent near here where I can go and stay for a donation.

But if I do that, I'm leaving my husband to juggle it all... I try to make sure I get one retreat a year.

 

[Greg J.]

It's dawning on me of late that I've had an incredibly stressful year, with one thing and another, and it's starting to affect my health and my ministry.

But it's one thing to recognise that, it's quite another to put things in place which will help me recover.

I have some plans which my spiritual director has helped me put together, but for those of you who've been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

Increase prayer time. Maybe add more worship time to it if you already spend enough time to pray all you want.

Aerobic exercise 3x a week for 40 minutes, if your doctor permits it. More is better. People out of touch with the reality many people face are recommending 5x a week. 60 minutes is better than 40. If you're like the average person, you will notice a significant decline in your stress level quickly.

 

[teresa]

How's it going? Is the cleaning person helping to reduce your stress levels? I pray for you, my friend. Can you get a babysitter as well as time off work? Caregivers need respite so that they can renew. Would a bike ride be relaxing to you? I casually ride to and from tasks, and it's very freeing. The wind gets in your hair and your body lets go of stress. Even swimming or just floating is nice.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

The body needs nutrients just like a truck or car needs gas and oil.

B-Vitamins (a lot more than the minuscule rda ,
as found in stress tabs (cute name for them, eh? )
help more than anything else , almost.
They used to be the remedy for szo and manic and bipolar they worked so good. (before 1950)

(nothing helps as much as answered prayer, of course)

been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

 

[Paidiske]

How's it going? Is the cleaning person helping to reduce your stress levels? I pray for you, my friend. Can you get a babysitter as well as time off work? Caregivers need respite so that they can renew. Would a bike ride be relaxing to you? I casually ride to and from tasks, and it's very freeing. The wind gets in your hair and your body lets go of stress. Even swimming or just floating is nice.

Thanks for checking in. Cleaning person is yet to be organised. (Sigh. Organising things where I need input/agreement from my husband is one of the hardest things!)

Getting a babysitter is hard because my husband is reluctant to pay anyone, so unless we can get a family member we tend not to have one. I'm working on that, but it's a work in progress...

I walk a lot. It also helped that in the last week it was the anniversary of my friend's death, and she was Jewish, so I was able to join other friends to say kaddish and mourn together. The need for these rituals isn't always rational but I do feel it's made a difference.

So it's just a matter of doing what I can. Now we really are in the countdown to Christmas and I'm trying not to panic at how much work that is!

 

[Greg J.]

Just to add more detail to my suggestion to exercise. The kind of exercise I meant releases endorphins. For me there is still some effect 48 hours after, although the main effect is perhaps 4 hours long. The kind of exercise that does this would be seen by some as "extreme physical exertion." I suspect a more useful definition might be tied to how long you keep your heart rate high (when health permits).

One's doctor or Google can reveal a calculation for a person's recommended beats/minute (based on their age). The suggested heart rates are a lot higher than what lighter forms of exercise give, even though the latter are still good for one's health. For people not in good health, a doctor-prescribed slow increase in exertion would be necessary.

Lastly, I want to make clear that the effect this has can be significant. For some people, this alone could wipe away all their stress (probably requiring 45+ minutes of hard work 4+ times/week). Some people like the effect so much (or perhaps are so stressed) that they consider the time well spent and exercise every morning.

 

[teresa]

HI
How are you today?

An idea for affordable child care is to ask a woman in the congregation who is a widow and is older to help out.

Or a woman who is retired, and her children have long left home.

That would only be if you sensed that she is lonely and perhaps being around a child would be a blessing to her as well as to you and your child.

Sometimes, people want to pitch in and help, and it helps them to be a blessing, helps them to obey the command to love one another and to bear one another's burdens.

 

[Paidiske]

I find most of the ladies in our congregation get burdened with more care of their own grandchildren than they want...

It's a good idea, but I'm new enough to the (very small) parish that I don't have that kind of relationship with someone that I feel I could ask; at least, not someone who isn't already burdened enough.

I'm feeling that we're starting to come out of a difficult time, though. The next couple of months will be busy but I think the overall stress levels are actually dropping.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

My stress is often work-related but sometimes family relationship related. I tend to make it worse by being a natural "worst case scenario" anxious personality.

 

[toLiJC]

It's dawning on me of late that I've had an incredibly stressful year, with one thing and another, and it's starting to affect my health and my ministry.

But it's one thing to recognise that, it's quite another to put things in place which will help me recover.

I have some plans which my spiritual director has helped me put together, but for those of you who've been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

what i know about dealing with stress even from experience is get rid of all misbeliefs/heresies/idols and cleanse your faith thoroughly and the devil will not have a power to affect you or at least his power to affect you will be weakened to a (very) great extent

Blessings

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

what i know about dealing with stress even from experience is get rid of all misbeliefs/heresies/idols and cleanse your faith thoroughly and the devil will not have a power to affect you or at least his power to affect you will be weakened to a (very) great extent

Blessings

not sure she is going to appreciate your advice, Paidiske being a qualified Anglican Minister

 

[toLiJC]

not sure she is going to appreciate your advice, Paidiske being a qualified Anglican Minister

i have been a witness of God and Jesus for many years, but still think i should be careful not to practice the faith wrong, despite the long way of cleansing my faith that i have walked

Blessings

 

[teresa]

 

[Greg J.]

Oh, I should have mentioned that refreshment doesn't come from vacations and the like, it comes from the Lord.