How do you manage stress?

Paidiske · Jun 6, 2016

It's dawning on me of late that I've had an incredibly stressful year, with one thing and another, and it's starting to affect my health and my ministry.

But it's one thing to recognise that, it's quite another to put things in place which will help me recover.

I have some plans which my spiritual director has helped me put together, but for those of you who've been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

vespasia · Jul 15, 2016

By having a support network to pull on when the going gets rough. I have a SpiDir, a retired Forces Chaplain, the church leadership team I work alongside and the rest of my order although that can be a double edged sword at times. If things get through, as an example way too many back to back funerals of very young children, I tend to head off and spend time at the orders enclosed house or in a bijou hermitage at the back of beyond. That and learning how to say 'no' ,mean it and back it up by not doing what you had said no to.

Runswithdogs · Jul 15, 2016

Get away. Regularly.

For me the best stress buster is getting out in the woods/nature with my dogs (DH is allowed to come but nobody else) and walking/hiking or just enjoying the peace quite.

If that dosent work... Hit things! (Boxing & Moi Thai/kickboxing if you can find a sparring partner)

BadHabit · Jul 15, 2016

Copious amounts of Vodka and Valium.

...mostly kidding. Sort of.

pdudgeon · Jul 16, 2016

Paidiske said:
It's dawning on me of late that I've had an incredibly stressful year, with one thing and another, and it's starting to affect my health and my ministry.

But it's one thing to recognise that, it's quite another to put things in place which will help me recover.

I have some plans which my spiritual director has helped me put together, but for those of you who've been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

1. remember that this is temporary.
2. look back and see how i got into the stressful situation in the first place
3. see what elements of the situation can either be removed, postponed, or eased with some extra help
4. remember to keep the main thing as the main thing.
5. remember that you're not in this life alone, that Jesus is right there in the harness with you, and let Him bear the
burden.
6. don't neglect to take time off on your days off. they are there for a reason.
7. remember that you're worth it!
(((HUGGS)))))

faroukfarouk · Jul 16, 2016

Runswithdogs said:
Get away. Regularly.

For me the best stress buster is getting out in the woods/nature with my dogs (DH is allowed to come but nobody else) and walking/hiking or just enjoying the peace quite.

If that dosent work... Hit things! (Boxing & Moi Thai/kickboxing if you can find a sparring partner)

I do walking every day for health reasons. Also, daily prayer and the Scriptures is above all for spiritual reasons, but they are therapeutic as well, I think.

Hope you manage to keep up with the dog!

arialgrande · Jul 26, 2016

yoga or taking a bath with lavender oil .A slow song....and nothing

Razare · Aug 16, 2016

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, - James 1:2

I haven't been at it long, but that verse gives you a lot. The reason you count it joy is because it means that things are moving forward when there are trials.

dude99 · Aug 30, 2016

first thing I do is pray. Also spending time with God and reading the Bible. Also exercises help.

Jonteel · Oct 10, 2016

Ok, to begin, allow me to present my credentials. I have a degree in Psychology. I tried to stay with the physical elements of the science. When you are under stress, your body releases adrenaline. If you allow it to stay in your system, this chemical will mess you up. If you allow it to stay in your system, is the key phrase. God gave us a way to delete adrenaline, exercise. In an office environment, using your legs will do nicely. Good choices are squats, doing a few stairs, lunges. If you want to google this, well I googled it for you, here's what looks like a good site: http://www.thebodysoulconnection.com/EducationCenter/fight.html
I hope this helps

Goodbook · Oct 26, 2016

Gardening.

alexier · Nov 3, 2016

Yeah I listen to music and have a long hot bath...if the stress is much more than that I talk to my Spiritual Director and usually plan an away day...I'm blessed that I take my days off quite strictly but with the church going through a tremendous amount of change at the moment, I seem to be calming a lot of stressful situations.

ladodgers6 · Nov 5, 2016

Paidiske said:
It's dawning on me of late that I've had an incredibly stressful year, with one thing and another, and it's starting to affect my health and my ministry.

But it's one thing to recognise that, it's quite another to put things in place which will help me recover.

I have some plans which my spiritual director has helped me put together, but for those of you who've been doing this for a long time, what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

Pray, Read Scripture, exercise of some sort, take vitamins, get rest. And remember why you are doing, what you are doing.

Armoured · Nov 5, 2016

I find smacking people about the head and shoulder with a large piece of steel helps me.

What?

Inkfingers · Nov 5, 2016

Paidiske said:
what do you do to manage the very stressful times?

The best solution to stress is backing off.

Stress happens when we get wound up over how the universe should be, as if its our job to check God's plans and purpose. When we get wound up we are actually denying faith and making an idol of our own desires and expectations, treating God like the child rather than the parent.

At times like that, back off, go somewhere quiet, and get on your knees. Not dramatically (drama and stress are part of the same problem) but just spend some time qiuietly on your knees before God...."Hello God, it's me again, I'm still waiting for that shipment of brains and faith I ordered...."

Paidiske · Nov 5, 2016

Inkfingers, in the nicest possible way, can I say that's not what's causing my stress. I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but it's not helpful to assume where my attitude must be wrong.

To give you some idea, in the last year:

- My daughter was diagnosed with autism
- A close friend took five months to die from a debilitating brain injury, during which time I spent large amounts of time caring for her and her family (and her family afterwards)
- I moved from one job to another, and discovered that the second job had significant problems I hadn't been told about (botched merger of two parishes; huge and ongoing issues there)
- I moved house
- Family support I might normally have relied on has been unavailable for reasons too long to detail here.

And so on. That's just the big stuff.

I'm not "wound up over how the universe should be." I'm exhausted and running on empty. I'm processing significant grief. And because I'm a parent of a young child with special needs, and I'm in ministry, my avenues for self-care are limited. Which is why I posted here (the ministry forum), wondering what other people who would have experience of this particular vocation and its demands might have found useful in similarly demanding times.

Armoured · Nov 5, 2016

Paidiske said:
Inkfingers, in the nicest possible way, can I say that's not what's causing my stress. I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but it's not helpful to assume where my attitude must be wrong.

To give you some idea, in the last year:

- My daughter was diagnosed with autism
- A close friend took five months to die from a debilitating brain injury, during which time I spent large amounts of time caring for her and her family (and her family afterwards)
- I moved from one job to another, and discovered that the second job had significant problems I hadn't been told about (botched merger of two parishes; huge and ongoing issues there)
- I moved house
- Family support I might normally have relied on has been unavailable for reasons too long to detail here.

And so on. That's just the big stuff.

I'm not "wound up over how the universe should be." I'm exhausted and running on empty. I'm processing significant grief. And because I'm a parent of a young child with special needs, and I'm in ministry, my avenues for self-care are limited. Which is why I posted here (the ministry forum), wondering what other people who would have experience of this particular vocation and its demands might have found useful in similarly demanding times.

Seriously, the steel object with head smacking helps. Where are you? I'm in Brisbane. Maybe we can catch up for some head bashing?

Or, you know, tea and a chat, or whatever?

Paidiske · Nov 5, 2016

Thanks, armoured, much appreciated.

Sadly, I'm in Melbourne, so I can't take you up on it.

Head smacking with steel object might get me into trouble, too... too bad I gave up fencing when I fell pregnant!

teresa · Nov 5, 2016

(((HUGS)))

that is a huge list of issues you have dealt with.

my heart goes out to you.

a pastor I once knew, found someone to fill in so he could take a much-needed break for a while.

would a break from church responsibilities be helpful to you and would it be do-able?

can you have someone to come in and allow for you to have some time alone every day, apart from child care or ministry?

can you ask anyone from your flock or from personal family or friends or neighbors to help out in any way?

I think it's in the NT somewhere that when we ask people to help it helps them too

Radagast · Nov 5, 2016

Runswithdogs said:
Get away. Regularly.

I second that. Getting away from the stressful environment (e.g. by going for a walk in the bush) helps. Especially when the list of stressors is as long as yours.

Failing that...

How do you manage stress?

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