from like, the m word i mean. i have been dealing with it since before i knew it had anything to do with purity, and idin't know it was wrong at first, but once God showed me it was, i made efforts to stop, but it wans't really working. well, to make a long story short, my sister helped me to turn to God more and ask his protection and... yeah. its been... a long time since i've done it, and, i always pray when i'm tempted... so like, do i consider myself recovered now? when the temptation goes away? when the dreams go away? i'm confused....
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how do you know when your recovered?
- Thread starter NinadeDios777
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Sounds as if you are having great success.Help me to understand a little better. How long has it been since you did it? Before you stopped, how often were you doing it? Do I understand you are still tempted to do it and you have sexual dreams--how often?
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NinadeDios777 said:
Satan tempts all of us to all kinds of sins all the time, so I don't think you should consider yourself impure because you feel tempted or have these dreams.
All that matters as far as God is concerned is that you are a strong, Godly person who does not give in to these temptations, but instead honours him through your conduct.
From what you've written it has been a long time since you abused yourself, and you are successfully resisting Satan's call, so you're definitely pure
.
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Psalmangel
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God bless, you'll do fine. Just have faith in that God will help you and to overcome the tempts, just rejoice in the
Holy Spirit. In Him, there is peace, even in the midst of a storm.
Holy Spirit. In Him, there is peace, even in the midst of a storm.
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Vilnius said:
well, like, ive been afraid to go back and count the days, because befre whenever i've counted the days it only causes me to falla gain.... but its at least been since oregon, which was back in late november. i don't remember how often i was doing it... but i think the longest i've gone is about 3 months without it. so, yeah. like, i still have temptations sometimes.
idon't know why i have the dreams. i don't think about this during the day...
*shrugs* i don't know...
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VVV
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Perfection with sex? This is where most addicts fail. Where judgments have to be made, mistakes can and will happen. Forget perfection - look for direction. Addictions can go in 3 directions. We can always get a quick snapshot of our recovery direction by asking the question: Is our addiction frozen? Is our addiction growing? Or is our addiction declining? Aldous Huxley sheds some light on this "The only completely consistent people are the dead.".....snip from post.
Yes, sex is crazy business for sure. Here is a snip on the subject of praying mantis sexual practice (condensed) Or, skip this paragraph and get to my post if not interested. But, this paragraph just illustrates that all species have to deal with the same issues as humans more or less when it comes to sex...craziness.
Written by Patrick O'Brian
Stephen watch the male mantis step cautiously towards the female mantis. In three strides he was upon her; his legs gripped her wing-covers; his antennae found hers and began to stroke them and copulation began. After a few minutes the female moved her triangular head pivoting it from left to right, then I there was a blur of movements so rapid that for all his care and extreme attention he could not follow them, and the males head was off, clamped there, a detached lemon, under the crook of her green praying arms. She bit into it, and the eye's glow went out; on her back the headless male continued to copulate rather more strongly than before; all his inhibitions having been removed. Ten minutes later the female took off three pieces of her mate's long thorax and ate them with every appearance of appetite, dropping a few crumbs in front of her. The male copulated on, still firmly anchored by his back legs. Stephen thought to himself, "You do not need a head, nor even a heart, to be all a female can require." (end)
I used to handle wife almost continually in my old life. I learned I had to scale back with sex stimuli with wife inside the home as well as sex stimuli outside the home if I wished to be at peace. Sometimes we go a little too far with sex and need to be reeled back in. I use many S programs for support such as SA, SLAA and SCA. In SCA they are mindful of 'gray' areas. I just scaled back with wife stimuli until it fells doable peace-wise and work to keep it there. But in reality, sex is never perfect and it always needs to be adjusted somewhat. If we keep going past the gray and fall off the edge it is a tough hard climb back up and sometime we don't get back up if the fall is hard enough. No, just being married is not a free pass to abusing sex stimuli all the time. It is no different from thinking you can drink all the time cause you own a whisky factory or eat rich food all the time if you are a four star restaurant owner.
"Just as a life of virtue yields its own reward, a life of vice yields its own punishment" - Plutarch
Being hyped up is a byproduct of sex. One goes with the other, so no use beating yourself up over it. The nature of the beast with sex is to get excited, so this is what makes it tougher addiction than food and spending, as we can eat or spend and still be devoid of most of the excitement from these areas if we wish. But in general, we cannot participate in sexual activity without getting excited. In addition, it takes a day or two for some of us to go back to normal from sex, so this refractory period is another area to deal with whenever we get hyped up sexually. Is this refractory period bad? No, it is just how things are. The problem with addicts is they overdo things to a point of pain - that is what's bad.
Perfection with sex? This is where most addicts fail. Where judgments have to be made, mistakes can and will happen. Forget perfection - look for direction. Addictions can go in 3 directions. We can always get a quick snapshot of our recovery direction by asking the question: Is our addiction frozen? Is our addiction growing? Or is our addiction declining? Aldous Huxley sheds some light on this "The only completely consistent people are the dead." If you are a celibate and renunciate then find you pride in perfecting that area, but also be advised you are working against nature. SCA gave me the gift of accepting sex as a gift from God, but it is totally up to me with how I use this gift. I try to remember..." If you abuse it ~ your lose it." I don't want to lose the privilege.
(SCA guidelines: is the activity placing unreasonable demands on my time and energy, will it place me in legal jeopardy or endanger my mental, physical or spiritual health?)
Take Care,
V (Male)
A Christian-Buddhist practitioner living a life of Voluntary Simplicity and grateful recovering Debtor, Drug, Alcohol and Substance Abuser, Compulsive Overeater, Clutterer, Hoarder, Rageaholic, Speculative Gambler, Compulsive Spender, Sex and Sensation Addict.
Yes, sex is crazy business for sure. Here is a snip on the subject of praying mantis sexual practice (condensed) Or, skip this paragraph and get to my post if not interested. But, this paragraph just illustrates that all species have to deal with the same issues as humans more or less when it comes to sex...craziness.
Written by Patrick O'Brian
Stephen watch the male mantis step cautiously towards the female mantis. In three strides he was upon her; his legs gripped her wing-covers; his antennae found hers and began to stroke them and copulation began. After a few minutes the female moved her triangular head pivoting it from left to right, then I there was a blur of movements so rapid that for all his care and extreme attention he could not follow them, and the males head was off, clamped there, a detached lemon, under the crook of her green praying arms. She bit into it, and the eye's glow went out; on her back the headless male continued to copulate rather more strongly than before; all his inhibitions having been removed. Ten minutes later the female took off three pieces of her mate's long thorax and ate them with every appearance of appetite, dropping a few crumbs in front of her. The male copulated on, still firmly anchored by his back legs. Stephen thought to himself, "You do not need a head, nor even a heart, to be all a female can require." (end)
I used to handle wife almost continually in my old life. I learned I had to scale back with sex stimuli with wife inside the home as well as sex stimuli outside the home if I wished to be at peace. Sometimes we go a little too far with sex and need to be reeled back in. I use many S programs for support such as SA, SLAA and SCA. In SCA they are mindful of 'gray' areas. I just scaled back with wife stimuli until it fells doable peace-wise and work to keep it there. But in reality, sex is never perfect and it always needs to be adjusted somewhat. If we keep going past the gray and fall off the edge it is a tough hard climb back up and sometime we don't get back up if the fall is hard enough. No, just being married is not a free pass to abusing sex stimuli all the time. It is no different from thinking you can drink all the time cause you own a whisky factory or eat rich food all the time if you are a four star restaurant owner.
"Just as a life of virtue yields its own reward, a life of vice yields its own punishment" - Plutarch
Being hyped up is a byproduct of sex. One goes with the other, so no use beating yourself up over it. The nature of the beast with sex is to get excited, so this is what makes it tougher addiction than food and spending, as we can eat or spend and still be devoid of most of the excitement from these areas if we wish. But in general, we cannot participate in sexual activity without getting excited. In addition, it takes a day or two for some of us to go back to normal from sex, so this refractory period is another area to deal with whenever we get hyped up sexually. Is this refractory period bad? No, it is just how things are. The problem with addicts is they overdo things to a point of pain - that is what's bad.
Perfection with sex? This is where most addicts fail. Where judgments have to be made, mistakes can and will happen. Forget perfection - look for direction. Addictions can go in 3 directions. We can always get a quick snapshot of our recovery direction by asking the question: Is our addiction frozen? Is our addiction growing? Or is our addiction declining? Aldous Huxley sheds some light on this "The only completely consistent people are the dead." If you are a celibate and renunciate then find you pride in perfecting that area, but also be advised you are working against nature. SCA gave me the gift of accepting sex as a gift from God, but it is totally up to me with how I use this gift. I try to remember..." If you abuse it ~ your lose it." I don't want to lose the privilege.
(SCA guidelines: is the activity placing unreasonable demands on my time and energy, will it place me in legal jeopardy or endanger my mental, physical or spiritual health?)
Take Care,
V (Male)
A Christian-Buddhist practitioner living a life of Voluntary Simplicity and grateful recovering Debtor, Drug, Alcohol and Substance Abuser, Compulsive Overeater, Clutterer, Hoarder, Rageaholic, Speculative Gambler, Compulsive Spender, Sex and Sensation Addict.
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im just scared to consider myself recovered in case i go back and disappointmyself and God again.
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