How do you fully forgive someone and fully forgive yourself for sticking around (relationship wise)

[blackribbon]

How? Write him a letter then burn it and give it up to God. Then do everything you can to avoid thinking about him.

 

[com7fy8]

Even though I did initially forgive him, that was before more of the hurt and anger came within me.

So, it was good to pray for him and forgive him, but we are not perfect; and so, later, we can need to do it better, after we have grown in Jesus and love. And then still we will likely or possibly be tested again, by Satan, in bad memories; but we can use these as a reminder to keep praying and forgiving people

The point that I've been stuck in for a few months is pure anger. Anger/bitterness towards him. That's what I told my friend this morning and that's when he told me I need to come to a place to not only forgive him but forgive myself too. But, i figured that I need to get through the bitterness and anger in order to heal too? With forgiveness fully take the anger away?

Like I offer, even if you forgive him, still you are not perfect; so at later times you will likely need to again pray for him and do better in how you forgive him. Trust God to have you doing better and better, including so your prayer can help him. Plus, this is for your good in sharing as family with other Jesus people; by overcoming the evil of bitter anger and hurts, you become more and more ready for love with those who can share as family with you >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

According to this, if you get into more sharing with God's people, you will need to do some forgiving. So, it is good to get good at this!

my own mom has been praying for the 2 of them for a couple of years now,

So, your mother is a Christian? If she is, this is so wonderful. Appreciate having her.

Appreciate having the ones who are older and more mature. We can be overly interested in ones who are more like us and who we hope will give us what we want. And so can come selfish loving, which has us open to getting hurt > I mean, God's love makes us strong against fear and bitter anger and controlling and using people.

It sounds likely that he simply does not know how to love. So, spend time with people who know how to love

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

forgiving someone means you no longer hold a thing against them. it does NOT mean you forget what they did and treat them as if the thing didn't happen or that you allow them to continue to hurt you. actions have consequences.

you're not married so, quite frankly, neither of you have an obligation to the other. if you want to remain in a relationship where a guy is going to have trysts with other girls while dealing with you, that is your choice. if that is not acceptable to you then you need to leave.

you don't need to say anything to this guy. just move on with your life and don't waste your time in bitterness towards this guy.