How do you deal with disappointment in life?

[CognizanCe]

re-posting this here since it seems the first thread I created may have been in the wrong sub-forum. thanksa to GuusVA for the correction.


Hello everyone,
I'm not trying to be a downer or negative,
But how do you deal with disappointment in life?

I'm 30 with a bachelors degree in an third world country.
I went to college in the US and was so optimistic until the company I worked for went under. I had to leave the country because I had no company to get me a green card.

I've been trying so many different avenues to make money related to my field (a lot more than where I am now), IRL and online ads, but just keep getting disappointed, even though after school I continue to improve my craft and expand my skill set.

It's like I've been optimistic all my life and it's gotten me nowhere, and it takes energy to be optimistic. It's like "why try?".
This isn't a one time thing like a dead dog.

My wife keeps telling me
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I'm really thinking this is where I literally put all my faith and trust in God, but it's hard for someone like me with so much ambition and drive and determination, especially now that we want kids. I just think it'll be good to be financially stable first, but that hasn't happened.

Can anyone relate or offer advice from their real world experiences?

 

[Inkachu]

Have you sat down and counted your blessings, or do you mainly just focus on the negatives and the things you don't have?

Is your life REALLY that bad? Do you have a job? A home? Food? Clothing? Many people don't.

Perhaps God is trying to point you in another direction, and you've been so hyper-focused on what YOU want, that you're missing His cues.

 

[BFine]

By casting all those disappointments onto the Lord
and allowing Him to handle them and entrusting Him
to guide/direct me to where He wants me to be.... and
to continue to trust in Him and renew my mind continually
on the truth found in the Word of God.

Nothing wrong with having ambition and drive/determination
but one needs to keep all that in check, so it doesn't cause
one to fall into despair.

Put all this to the Lord in prayer, ask Him to help you find
suitable employment and or direct you to seek other skills
until you can find a career that's related to your degree.

It's a tough job market, and there's many who are in your
situation. The ones I went to college with who have degrees
are currently working jobs that aren't related to their degrees.
When they graduated from college in 2010, two had jobs
waiting for them and the rest of the class found no jobs in
their chosen profession.

 

[BFine]

double post

 

[TheDag]

I do various things. Firstly I will acknowledge that sometimes I deal with it in very poor ways and on rare occasions I have chosen very unhealthy ways which has led to further despair. In other words I don't get it right all the time but some things are helpful for me. The bible tells us that God is worthy of praise. So when bad stuff happens God is still worthy of praise. So sometimes I will sing praise. I find that in doing so healing often begins.
Other times I will make a conscience effort to pray and thank God for what I do have and what he has done for me in the past and what he has provided. Focusing on the negative all the time gets me down. Sometimes I need something to distract me from the negative. This has been in the form of volunteer work where I have to focus on the role I have to do.
Being a naturally outgoing person I find it is better that I be with people when things are really tough or talk over the phone..
The way we deal with dissapointment is different depending on our personality and other things. Sometimes I find answers where people just quote scripture unhelpful. It isn't that the scripture is not true but I have trouble seeing it as being real. Classic example is people saying things like 'With God there is always hope'. While that is true when I have been suicidal in the past that kind of thing is useless because I just can't see that. It isn't as if I don't know that and just saying it will not get the message through. For others it might I suppose. Thats the problem with christianity there are often no clear cut answers or magical steps to follow to fix everything as nice and easy as that would be. You need to find what works for you.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Well psychologically we tend to notice the bad things more then the good things since the goods things are so common. As an example. I woe up today and was alive still. I had food to eat, drink to drink, a warm bed, clothes, a wife, a vehicle, money in the bank...etc. But because thats so normal to me I forgot about the good and say "Ugh, why isn't my mouse working right! Life sucks!". lol.

Just reflect on all the good things in your life that happen every second! As someone whos been sick their whole life, I wasn't always like this. I very much dealt terribly with disappointment. I even got angry at God for awhile. BUt I'm past that stage now. I thank God for all I have, even in times when things go badly. Like when somethings delayed. Its in Gods hands, He has a plan.

This doesn't mean I never ever get flustered of course. But I've found its much easier now just accepting life is not perfect and things don't always work out. I look towards the future when I pass on and go to a place where there is no more heartache, pain, failures. Remember, God never said once your a christian your life becomes easier. If anything at times it may become harder since the world will be against you.

I help people to, its a good thing to do and can boost your happiness.

 

[Reborn1977]

I'm really thinking this is where I literally put all my faith and trust in God, but it's hard for someone like me with so much ambition and drive and determination, ....

When we get down as low as we can go then we know it was not us, our doing, our ambition, our will, but instead it was God and God's Will, God grace that gave us what we have in life.

It is very hard to be independent (self-governing) and God-dependent.

 

[Emmy]

Dear CognizanCe. Keep trying, God will have something for you, and He will lead you aright. In the meantime show God that you are quite willingly follow
His/Jesus` advice. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: " Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself."
Jesus does point out: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God wants our love, freely given and NO tags attached.
Start treating all you know and all you meet, friends and not-friends, treat them as you would love to be treated, always kindly and with friendly words,
perhaps also the helping hand? People will notice your sincere efforts, and people will treat you the same as you treat people. Love is very catching,
and a Christian`s great weapon is Love. With love you will overcome all anger
and wrong behaviour, it might take a bit longer than hasty and angry words,
but Love will always be the Victor. You might stumble and forget at times, but then you will ask God to forgive you, and carry on Loving and Caring.
The Bible tells us: " Repent," and be " Born Again." We change gradually into the sons and daughters which God wants us to become. Jesus our Saviour
will help and guide us: JESUS IS THE WAY. Show God your willingness to follow, and then watch what God will do. Keep telling God your innermost wishes, and follow Jesus: I say this with love, CognizanCe. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

re-posting this here since it seems the first thread I created may have been in the wrong sub-forum. thanksa to GuusVA for the correction.


Hello everyone,
I'm not trying to be a downer or negative,
But how do you deal with disappointment in life?

I'm 30 with a bachelors degree in an third world country.
I went to college in the US and was so optimistic until the company I worked for went under. I had to leave the country because I had no company to get me a green card.

I've been trying so many different avenues to make money related to my field (a lot more than where I am now), IRL and online ads, but just keep getting disappointed, even though after school I continue to improve my craft and expand my skill set.

It's like I've been optimistic all my life and it's gotten me nowhere, and it takes energy to be optimistic. It's like "why try?".
This isn't a one time thing like a dead dog.

My wife keeps telling me
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I'm really thinking this is where I literally put all my faith and trust in God, but it's hard for someone like me with so much ambition and drive and determination, especially now that we want kids. I just think it'll be good to be financially stable first, but that hasn't happened.

Can anyone relate or offer advice from their real world experiences?

There have been many many disappointments in my life.....thing I wish I would not have done / people I should have kept at arms length / poor decisions made / and many things that came my way by way of accidents, disasters , and the like.

One lesson ive learned about his life is : Don't expect too much from it , get ready to roll with the punches, remember you never walk alone thru the adversity...and its the NEXT life that is going to be perfect. By doing these things, it acts as a buffer when bad times come along and it always keeps my focus on eternity which is where my real home will be totally free of mishaps and disappointments . I tell myself its going to happen one day based on Gods promise. SO...hold loosely to the things of this world including tragedies , people doing you wrong , and anomalies in general. Peace in your life my Friend. David.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Where there are challenges, your health becomes more focused than your wealth as I have experienced and still continue to experience. Unfortunately, I cannot give away every detail of what I eat or drink, even if I do, nobody would follow exactly everything I eat or drink. I think it's because of all the years of growing up and making constant choices and decision changes that every individual on Earth has various choices and amounts of food and drink at various times where work and rest can vary for every worker
:
human energy Force = food Mass x muscular Acceleration

Thought it would be funny to combine the physics equation with the human body and the amount of food and fluid needed as energy flow to keep our body functions working properly.
I thank my Lord Jesus for keeping my health in good condition now that I have reached middle of the century: 50 years old:.
Working 2 part-time jobs as a casual laborer for more than 6 years, such as the delivery of junkmail, a home product magazine in letterboxes can take a lot of energy if walking in your running shoes 5 or all 7 days of the week for several hours, only because rain can cause you to go home early and leave it for the next day if fine weather.
Just curious if our body functions of our future-coming new minds and bodies of Christ would function so supernaturally, sometimes I wonder if essential chemical nutrients would suddenly appear and re-appear once those nutrients have been used throughout the mind and body:.
As an "ambassador of Christ", your positive attitude mirrors the supernatural and mysterious holy spirit where in your heart, every positive emotion of peace and joy being so intertwined in your confidence - it's almost as if everyone near you see Jesus, not you as an imperfect individual fighting for financial security - they may even think that you could be working under cover as a secret agent, CEO boss or health and safety inspector: sometimes I giggle silently at the thought of it on a regular basis .;'*'';.
Rev 21:2

 

[Goodbook]

You're placing a burden on yourself when Jesus is saying give that burden to me.

I used to do that. I would think its all on me and everything is my fault and if things arent going well it means I failed when I got disappointed. But its not like that at all. God is in control and if we really want something he has a way of testing us to see if we really want it. Its patience and perserverance that he's teaching me. Its having peace in the meantime that was hard when I was between jobs. I learned not to worry as the right job would come at the right time. It took just over a year. While I never heard the end of it and nothing but doom and gloom from my worrywart unbelieving mother always nagging and saying when will you find work my believing friends were like..don't worry, Gods got it in his hands.

If i listened to my mother I would be a nutcase. And I was before I got saved. Thank you Jesus!

Btw if theres not much work in your field going at the moment then try a different one and you can go back when theres more opportunity. Not everyone can predict the job market. You cant beat yourself up for learning something and then there not being jobs upon graduation. Unfortunately the job market is pretty terrible..if you let the Lord lead you on the path it will be straight but the world system seems designed for obsolescence. All I know is he always needs labourers for his harvest so continue letting him teach you and then you'll never lack for work.

 

[Jerico Miles]

re-posting this here since it seems the first thread I created may have been in the wrong sub-forum. thanksa to GuusVA for the correction.


Hello everyone,
I'm not trying to be a downer or negative,
But how do you deal with disappointment in life?

I'm 30 with a bachelors degree in an third world country.
I went to college in the US and was so optimistic until the company I worked for went under. I had to leave the country because I had no company to get me a green card.

I've been trying so many different avenues to make money related to my field (a lot more than where I am now), IRL and online ads, but just keep getting disappointed, even though after school I continue to improve my craft and expand my skill set.

It's like I've been optimistic all my life and it's gotten me nowhere, and it takes energy to be optimistic. It's like "why try?".
This isn't a one time thing like a dead dog.

My wife keeps telling me
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I'm really thinking this is where I literally put all my faith and trust in God, but it's hard for someone like me with so much ambition and drive and determination, especially now that we want kids. I just think it'll be good to be financially stable first, but that hasn't happened.

Can anyone relate or offer advice from their real world experiences?

There's no relationship with Father God. That's the reason. He should be first and foremost in everyone's life.

I highlighted in red where the mistake is. One that puts the world ahead of God will never find fulfillment and satisfaction.

And He's working in you trying to get your attention. This is why you're going through this. You're one of the lucky ones. I know that sounds strange but if He's not giving you the attention, you would be placed on the shelf like those who don't believe in Him and must go through their testing during the tribulation instead. You have a chance to escape the tribulation that's ahead upon Jesus' second coming.

Just go to Him. Work on the relationship. He's waiting for you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TffkAILd6EU#t=144

 

[ValleyGal]

There are a lot of factors that play into this. Stress, coping, resilience, outlook, faith, and more. And wow, it is so hard sometimes to come out on top when life sucks. Sometimes the stress can become way too much because the truth is, we live in this world and need to make a living in it. It's easy to let our minds wander to those who have no job, no income, no home, and we wonder if we will end up in that same situation. Social programs to support those looking for gainful employment are decreasing while the cost of living is increasing at alarming rates (such as gas prices and insurance rates due to destructive weather patterns).

When someone has a good education, they want to find a job in their field of study and likely are well suited to that field; however, competition is so high that there are a lot of us with higher education and some of us are unable to find positions and end up with mountains of student debt. This just adds to the stress because how can people pay back student debts when they do not have a high-paying job like they were trained to do? Maybe universities should be more selective....I don't know, because that would limit everyone's right to access higher education. It's all very tricky.

The thing is that you (and many others) are stuck in a very stressful situation and sometimes it feels impossible to struggle our way out of that situation. There are a lot of feelings a person has, too. It's scary, overwhelming and defeating. It totally wears a person down to be rejected from potential employers time and time again, to be told that you've got what it takes - but don't get the job because someone else has just that slight little edge over you. It deflates the confidence required to set up the next interview and brace for more disappointment....and yet you know that the incessant pessimism is not your typical tendency...but constant rejection can certainly erode optimism, so what choice is there but to start losing hope?

It's so easy for others to just say "trust more, have more faith, pray more, keep your chin up and it will all be okay." I'm sure they mean well, but it's lost on someone who's going through some real, genuine struggles and possibly even a crisis of faith.

So, OP, while I can't sit here and say it will all be okay - because I don't know whether it will or not - I can sit here and say that I can relate to the struggle. I don't know your whole situation, but I know the struggle. One thing that has been really helpful to me is knowing that I have good friends who care enough to sit with me awhile in the pain, but love me enough to not let me stay there. I hope you will be able to find social support where you are, and I hope your resilience is strong and that your trials will build your faith.