How do we forgive someone without approving of their behavior?

[Gregory Thompson]

Hello Michael, Luke 23:34 is a fascinating verse (IMHO), worthy of a thread of its own. Why, for instance, did the Lord Jesus turn to His Father in this instance and ask Him to do what we know He had the power and authority to do Himself, what He had, in fact, been doing Himself until this point in time .. e.g. Matthew 9:6?

Beyond that, what was it and who was it (specifically) that Jesus was asking His Father to forgive? Was it forgiveness for murdering an innocent man, or for murdering the most innocent Man of all? Or was it for not knowing what they should have known about the One they were crucifying? Something else perhaps? Or did He have in mind a blanket forgiveness (if you will) that would forgive them of all of the sins they had committed, were committing and would commit, and that w/o repentance or seeking to be forgiven by Him?

Finally, who did the "them" include? Just the Roman Soldiers? The people too? The Jewish leaders? The criminals who hung there with Him on His left and on His right? Everybody?

It's amazing how many questions that a half of a verse can generate sometimes, isn't it, especially when what is said is, at best, unclear Like I said, a verse that could certainly be discussed at some length in a post of its own (or at the very least, given a much deeper look personally).

God bless you!!

--David

Luke 23​

34 Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.​

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Since I'm measured the way I measure others, I'd like to view Jesus in the best possible light forgiving everyone. I am reminded of a verse that says, if they knew, then they wouldn't have crucified the Lord of glory.

 

[dmoban]

I struggled with that and decided on what works for me. I may not continue a relationship with a person in order to protect myself but I do try to understand the root of their actions (they felt backed into a corner, etc.), I harbor no ill will and I truly hope the best for them. I pray for them and I know that, if they ever seriously needed anything, I would be there for them. I let them know that. I am so grateful for everything God has given me and I will not let someone else steal my joy (although it has been hard at times). Through Jesus, we have God's unconditional forgiveness based on our faith and we have to give no less then that to other people.

 

[seashale76]

Forgiveness doesn't imply giving someone carte blanche to stomp on your boundaries.

 

[First Age]

I struggle with that too. I'm in a position of having to stay away from several close family members, who consider my "no contact" as failure to forgive. If, after all this time, I am not accepting calls, not answering cards and letters, have them blocked on Facebook, and won't even send them a Christmas card, isn't this proof that I haven't forgiven them? Ask them, and they'll surely tell you all about how I'm still hung up on things that happened years ago. Well, the reason it happened years ago is that I went no contact years ago. If I still had a relationship with them, their behavior toward me would continue unchanged into present day, because they see nothing wrong with it. Then it wouldn't be "all in the past" anymore.

I had to think about the definition of forgiveness. All it means is, you give up your need to seek justice. It's OK with you if they never get what's coming to them, never pay you back, never get arrested, never stand before a judge, never serve time, never have anything happen to them that's just as bad as what they did to you. You're going to go on with your life anyway, with or without their acknowledgement or admission of wrongdoing.

None of that requires that you ever have to see or speak to them again.

By the way, if you get to Heaven and find that person also there, they will NEVER be punished for what they did. They are not going to burn in hell after all.

But that only means Jesus took their punishment instead. Justice was served. On Him.

I think that’s fine and dandy if consideration is put into all parties concerned. Let’s say, for instance, you’re mad at your father-in-law and you don’t want him anywhere around your kids basically you just do not like him but the kids do. As a grandfather, these rights can be manipulated by very evil people. Just make sure you’re not the evil person