How do I know if God is calling me to singleness?

[MariaJLM]

I just wonder sometimes whether the problems about the sex act comes from the church which often teaches that sex is sinful and fleshly and that it is not conducive to holiness? If a child, educated in church schools has had that sort of thing drummed into them, then it is understandable that sex is repugnant to them.

I wonder if some church people have forgotten God created and designed the sex act for procreation and mutual comfort and pleasure; that between married Christian couples it is actually fun and enjoyable?

Perhaps those who have problems with the idea of their own involvement in sex within marriage might need counselling and "de-programming" from the "brain-washing" they have received because of inaccurate teaching from celibate priests and nuns who may have the same problems themselves.

Not putting anyone down...just sayin'....

I don't think sex, even within marriage, is dirty or sinful. I just have no sexual attraction to others or desire for sexual intercourse whatsoever. As for children, I have no interest in them either. Sometimes issues are not as clear cut as they may seem. There's numerous reasons why a person may not want sex or children.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I don't think sex, even within marriage, is dirty or sinful. I just have no sexual attraction to others or desire for sexual intercourse whatsoever. As for children, I have no interest in them either. Sometimes issues are not as clear cut as they may seem. There's numerous reasons why a person may not want sex or children.

Just checking. That is your free choice and it is respected.

 

[HeatherBliss]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

I've heard many theologians’ commentaries on the gift of singleness and most will use the scriptural reference in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. There seems to be little variation on its interpretation but I know from experience when you’re dealing with an issue or crisis of faith, it helps to receive more than a cookie-cutter answer. You want to be sure you’re hearing from God.

I think you’re like many of us who have been single for what seems like too long -- who want to know in the midst of the desire for a spouse if being single is truly God’s will for our lives. And if so, then how to we reconcile our longings with our purpose and destiny here on earth and God’s eternal plan?

While we should not neglect to study and meditate on this very familiar passage, I believe we should look at it in light of all of scripture and not forget that also through prayer He speaks to us. Whenever, I am stuck or need an answer and feel as though I’d like to hear God’s voice more clearly, I turn to fasting as well.

Above all, you seem like someone who wants to please the Lord and will glorify God no matter your status. I think you can still serve God very effectively if you are married. Many couples are used mightily in the Lord’s work and the Bible even says that two are better than one.

Scripture also tells us that the Lord will give us the desires of our heart which in the case of marriage I believe is a God-given desire. Trust your heart as you pour it out to the Lord in prayer. He has the ability to guide you, give you the answer concerning your singleness and also bring the two of you together in His perfect timing. God bless you and I’ll be praying for you my friend!

 

[Francis Drake]

Wrong. Some people are genuinely called to be single. That's why Catholicism and Orthodoxy have specific vocations for single people.

And that's exactly why the church has so much sexual sin amongst these people.

 

[MariaJLM]

And that's exactly why the church has so much sexual sin amongst these people.

No, because obviously people who are called to be single wouldn't be committing as many sexual sins.

 

[Francis Drake]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

I do not believe you are called to singleness.

The Lord said about Adam,
Gen2v18Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Sometimes when you read scripture, there is a subtext screaming out to be also read. Here it is.
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for woman to be alone!"

You cannot have one without the other can you?

 

[MariaJLM]

I do not believe you are called to singleness.

The Lord said about Adam,
Gen2v18Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Sometimes when you read scripture, there is a subtext screaming out to be also read. Here it is.
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for woman to be alone!"

You cannot have one without the other can you?

I wish Protestants would stop pressuring people to get married against their will.

 

[Francis Drake]

I wish Protestants would stop pressuring people to get married against their will.

What!!!!!
I was just correcting the garbage being spouted here. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church. It applies to the majority as Paul showed.

 

[MariaJLM]

What!!!!!
I was just correcting the garbage being spouted here. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church. It applies to the majority as Paul showed.

Well my point is that not everyone is called to get married. I, for example, would be pretty miserable in a standard Christian marriage.

 

[sunshine100]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

Some people go there whole lives searching for the one person that is the perfect one for them,never give up hope.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires?

you don't have the gift of singleness if being single is against your desires.

 

[Dave-W]

No, because obviously people who are called to be single wouldn't be committing as many sexual sins.

Agreed. In 1 Cor 7 Paul says that some have this gift and some have another. (v 6) The word for gift is charisma, the same word he uses a few chapters later to describe prophecy and healings. IOW, it is supernatural and powerful, and most of all RARE.

And yes, I believe that in those who have that gift, the libido and emotional needs for a spouse will either be non-existent or very small.

 

[MariaJLM]

Agreed. In 1 Cor 7 Paul says that some have this gift and some have another. (v 6) The word for gift is charisma, the same word he uses a few chapters later to describe prophecy and healings. IOW, it is supernatural and powerful, and most of all RARE.

And yes, I believe that in those who have that gift, the libido and emotional needs for a spouse will either be non-existent or very small.

I'm one such person. I don't lust at all really and have no interest in getting married. That's how I know it exists.

 

[Francis Drake]

Well my point is that not everyone is called to get married. I, for example, would be pretty miserable in a standard Christian marriage.

Marriage itself is not a calling, its a matter of simple fact that men and women were created for it. Celibacy is an extreme exception.
Paul even labels it as a doctrine of demons!
1Tim4v1But the Spirit expressly states that in later times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, 2in the hypocrisy of liars, having their consciences seared, 3forbidding to marry, commanding to abstain from foods that God created for reception with thanksgiving by the faithful and those knowing the truth.

If all Christians decided that they couldn't marry because they hadn't heard the calling, then Christianity would die out and be replaced by paganism!

Christian marriage is about seeking God to lead you to the right spouse, rather than one who takes your fancy at that time.

A standard Christian marriage could certainly make one miserable, but why have a standard Christian marriage when you can have an amazing and wonderful Christian marriage, as indeed I have.

 

[MariaJLM]

Marriage itself is not a calling, its a matter of simple fact that men and women were created for it. Celibacy is an extreme exception.
Paul even labels it as a doctrine of demons!
1Tim4v1But the Spirit expressly states that in later times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, 2in the hypocrisy of liars, having their consciences seared, 3forbidding to marry, commanding to abstain from foods that God created for reception with thanksgiving by the faithful and those knowing the truth.

If all Christians decided that they couldn't marry because they hadn't heard the calling, then Christianity would die out and be replaced by paganism!

Christian marriage is about seeking God to lead you to the right spouse, rather than one who takes your fancy at that time.

A standard Christian marriage could certainly make one miserable, but why have a standard Christian marriage when you can have an amazing and wonderful Christian marriage, as indeed I have.

Again, you're missing my point. I have literally no interest in getting married. Zero. The only way I'd get married is if my spouse agreed to celibacy.

 

[Francis Drake]

Again, you're missing my point. I have literally no interest in getting married. Zero. The only way I'd get married is if my spouse agreed to celibacy.

No! It is you who are completely missing the point, and you also completely miss the point expressed in the OP.

Your personal distain for marriage is your free choice, but its certainly not what the bible intends as the norm for mankind or for Christians.

 

[MariaJLM]

No! It is you who are completely missing the point, and you also completely miss the point expressed in the OP.

Your personal distain for marriage is your free choice, but its certainly not what the bible intends as the norm for mankind or for Christians.

Nope. Celibacy, therefore singleness, is just as Biblical:

"His disciples said to Him, eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it,let him accept it.” -Matthew 11-12

"But I want you to be without care. cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband." -1 Corinthians 7:32-35

There's even more passages than just these two as well. So yea, you're absolutely wrong here. There's nothing inherently wrong or unnatural about celibacy and Jesus knew this. If you want to follow Jesus then stop invalidating mine and countless other people's lifestyle choices that are perfectly in line with Scripture.

 

[trophy33]

By singleness I mean to serve God..well.. single.

For me I've been single, many,many years.

Can God give you the gift of singleness even if it's against your desires? Like if you desire to marry and what not.

How would you know you're being called to singleness?

I think that you have that gift if you have no sexual desires (not just now, but long term, for years) and no need of intimate relationship with a man (including emotional, including a need to share life with somebody close... and similar).

Simply said, if you are OK to be single and have no problem with it whatsoever, you have probably the gift.

 

[Joined2krist]

I believe God calls certain people to single living. When I was very young and unprepared for marriage, I was proposed to but once I became mentally and emotionally ready for marriage I haven't had any proposals or even a meaningful relationship.

Obviously, if my steps are ordered by God then for sure He's not leading me down the marriage path although sometimes I wish He did but His will not mine must prevail.

 

[FireDragon76]

Singleness is undoubtedly a vocation, though. Like, I have no interest in getting married.

I used to think I had that vocation too. I think people can have different vocations at different times in their life, too.

I just wonder sometimes whether the problems about the sex act comes from the church which often teaches that sex is sinful and fleshly and that it is not conducive to holiness? If a child, educated in church schools has had that sort of thing drummed into them, then it is understandable that sex is repugnant to them.

Sometimes it does but some people are genuinely asexual or have low interest in sex. In Maria's case, she has high functioning autism (I believe) and that isn't that unusual for people like her to have no interest in that sort of thing.