My husband and I met in very undesirable circumstances which have tainted my hopes for ever having a real marriage based on a real friendship together in Christ. Although I know all things are possible in Christ!!
I was only saved a year ago or so and my life has been turned around completely. But I haven't always lived up to the standard I do now...
We met on a chat live line, living a 3 hour commute away from eachother...
the details on that one are too embarrasing and I've never told anyone how it all really happened, this is the 1st time I have ever recalled the details to anyone.
I had a boyfriend at the time. We also found eachother on this same line initially, I know how bad this sounds. But I was hooked on these chat lines, with my poor self image it felt good to talk to people who said what I wanted to hear and I could be who ever I wanted to be to strangers. So even though I had this boyfriend, I kept calling these lines to talk to anyone....
Anyway after chatting to a few people, I gravitated toward my now husband (I'll call him 'Mark') on the other end of the phone and we swapped email addresses and personal phone numbers. We never made any plans to meet yet though. I didn't know how to deal with the dead-beat that I had allowed to move in with me.
As Mark and I developed a relationship developed on the phone, I learned his dad was ill and he had to return home to care for him. That was New Zealand. So he left but we kept in touch though email. I had not met him in person at this stage.
I then decided to sever the relationship with my current boyfriend. I was not nice about it and it was messy and he was really hurt. We had just had a prenancy as well, which we decided to terminate...not a good scene at all, but he left and then it was just me...and my son from a previous relationship, I have sought CHristian counsel and help in dealing with that decision to abort since... just a side-note.
in the meanwhile.....
My interests still fell on this man who was now in NZ. He was also very intrigued with me. So much that he sent me, and my 7 year old son a ticket to come and see him. His dad died when he returned and he wanted to stay and help his mom through it, so he sent for us to come to meet him. Total strangers...I know as I type this I can't believe how bad it sounds and that it is all actually true!
We flew there in October of 2001 planning to stay a year. We got married so that I could attain a work visa, not out of love, we hardly knew eachother and what we found out was that we had nothing in common. We fought constantly. We were married in January 2002, and I was pregnant 2 months later.
At about my 5th month pregnancy I could not live away from Canada anymore, I became very emotional and as we lived with his mother, who is very controlling and undermining, I made up my mind to leave. We planned for my husband to fly back 2 months after me and we would all live back in Canada together and try to make this life and all the bad we had done..good.
Here we are after 2 1/2 years marriage, we have my son and our new 17 month old beautiful son who is my angel. NOw to my being saved....
I came to Christ about the time I had our son. I just felt the pull toward Him. I needed to fill my life with Him in everyway I could. It felt like an urgency! I started to go to church and make CHristian friends. I filled my days with teaching from Christian radio, from the bible and women's bible studies...my life is so different!
My family, moral conduct, values, focus, kids' needs, stability...etc. are all completely turned around! I am a different person, but the same. See I have always needed and wanted what I have (Christ, ethics, security..) now, but I took a long a windy and treacherous path to get here. I have come to know the real me, the one Jesus always meant for me to be, but I find there are parts of that 'me' that I have always known, but ignored. Thank God for His mercy and watchful eye as I floundered in my non-Christian years, knowing I would one day receive Him...
I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit to myself the choices I made in the past, but I am making up for it now.
I no longer believe in divorce being the answer or ducking out of bad choices because I am trying to avoid some personal discomfort.
I have made vows that I intend to keep and to keep them well. I have vowed to seek help in issues in my marriage and to always look at myself and what I can change and improve to be a good wife. And to set an example of a healthy marriage for our boys.
I am finding out all the things that God has wanted me to learn by bringing 'Mark' and I together...I have resented him many times and am now learning to let go of all that, and realise that under it all, I can find a really good man in there!!
I am also trying to lead my older son to the Lord, and my younger son will be taught right from the start, but my husband has no interest in religion or Christ at all. I do insist on my new stardards of living and our conduct and teachings in our home to be Christ centered and respectable, but I can't lead my husband to his own convictions and need for CHrist. All I have done in that regard is pray.
Hey, if the Lord still accepts me after what I have done with my life, and to others, I don't doubt He will find a way into my husband heart one day too. Good thing though, Mark agrees with many of the changes we have made in our life for our kids and supports us in our walk with Christ...amen!!
That's my story of how I became unequally yolked, just the outline, skipping many of the details, thanks for letting me share that.
God Bless!!
