How can l help a Christian who is moaning ?

[kenrose]

I have a friend who has had a bad time with death,two of which where suicides and where very close family members.They also are in ill health and been a Christian most of there life.
l had a God moment and felt the need to called them. l had not spoke to them for along time and wanted to tell them about my new life as a Christian.
l believe they have not been going to church for 3 years now,since their last sad loss.But started going 4 weeks ago .
l want so much to help them and they want it all just to end.The big question is why them?why so much bad things in there life.l could not give a answer to these.

Can you help?
God Bless

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Get them a copy of the book "Where is God When it Hurts?" by Phillip Yancey.

I would also recommend "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis.

 

[1watchman]

Here is a paper I have found helpful.

- 1 Watchman

THOUGHTS EXPRESSED OVER GRIEF AND LOSS

OF A LOVED ONE ​

[Some ministry to a new believer with little understanding of the Word of God who needed to find peace.]

Dear_________:

For some time I have thought about writing to you, but hesitated as I felt inadequate to say anything. That is often what happens with people in times of sorrow, but truly our thoughts and prayers are for you.

There are some things one might say in a natural sense, but what we need most of all at a time like this is to consider the love and mind of God. He has given us His precious Word for that, and therein are the eternal issues.

At such a time one feels many things all at once, but God says: "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psa.46:10). He is our Creator and He loves us, and He does all things well and according to His purposes. He never makes a mistake. There is "...a time to be born and a time to die" (Eccl.3:1-2). Job said of his many troubles and loss: "the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). God knows and understands our needs and our sorrow, and He cares, but His perfect plan must unfold.

Thank God the grieving will pass. Time will heal the broken heart, though one will always feel the loss. One might say: "It would not have happened if...", but all things are according to God's plan. He is never early or late. We need to see God in everything and say: "Thy will be done" (Matt.26: 42), as did the blessed Lord Jesus, when He suffered and died on the cross for our sins.

We need to know God's love and peace (see Phil.4:7; Prov.23:26). He will keep one in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him (Isa.26:3). How is that? Well, as we begin to see and think God's thoughts He makes us to "lie down in green pastures" (Psa.23; Phil.4:9). The way is open through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom.5:1-2). God says: "But now in Christ Jesus ye who once were afar off are made nigh by the blood of Christ" (Eph.2:13). If one's hope and trust and fellowship is in Him, therein one will find peace.

Read God's Word and rest on His "exceeding great and precious promises", dear one, and be assured of His love (John 3:16). One day we will understand the mysteries more fully. Look up always! - [Robert DeWitt]

 

[salida]

Just be a friend and pray for them.

 

[heron]

Some people bring meals or flowers the first week, but you can do something similar, that might make their exhaustion easier. Offer to fix their car, shovel their walk, make phone calls for them, get groceries.

You can always say the wrong things when people are mourning, but don't let that stop you from just being available for them. Sometimes friends feel awkward and avoid people grieving, and sometimes there's an overload.... you just don't know until you try.

Keep a good balance of warmth/caring and space/peacefulness. Create an easy environment.

 

[vespasia]

Those affected by suicide often have an increadibly hard time, pastorally it can be really tough to be alongside someone to whom this has happened.
The best thing to do is to shut up and listen, really listen. In this situation you need to allow yourself to be Gods ears on earth for the other person and accept that in this situation glib christian answers compound the raw pain and assumed guilt such people feel.

Have a look at the samaritans website for advice on supporting those affected by the suicide of a loved one.

People in real pain do moan, let them express their pain bewilderment and anquish. My guess is they meet too many who just want to make it all go away and they are left with huge crashing emotions they dare not express to most. They did not choose to be in this place.

As you listen you can 'hear' the needs of their hearts and then later quietly in that place with God pray for them and ask God to bless them with what God knows they need to heal.

Anyone deeply submerged in grief is unlikley to be able to cope with books but they can respond to a card.
They cannot hear you tell them about Christ in your life- they need to hear Christ loves them and knew what it was like to feel awful pain- Christ wept at Lazaerous grave. Be warned the bit where Christ then raised Lazerous is unlikley to get a positive reaction so stick to Christ knows what it is to weep from grief and will care about there grief.

Take things very slowly. It may help to point them towards a chaplaincy service or a church that offers support to the grieving but be sensitive and do so gently at there speed.
May God bless you as you seek to support your friend.

 

[Goodbook]

Blessed are those that mourn for they shall be comforted.

I don't know your situation other than what you've posted but this is what I've learned as a Christian, even in events like deaths of loved ones. Trust that God's judgment is just and he knows whats in other peoples hearts more than we can guess.

Bad things happen in our life but God can turn these things to good.Suffering can strengthen us and give us endurance. As Christians we are not promised an easy life on earth without struggle or pain because we live in a fallen world.
The faith your friend has will be tested always, but if they are saved nothing can keep them from the love of Jesus. He promises us life in abundance, eternal life and this life on earth is lived to glorify God. Your testimony as a christian can help your friend especially if they are vulnerable to giving in to thinking suicide as an option because of their family members.

Some of these things run in families and it is true to say it may be a generational curse, in that the same types of sin run in families and just get passed down because families learn from each other and the effects of sin influence surrounding family members. Jesus can deliver anyone from this.

Just be with them and pray for them for God to give them peace and understanding.

 

[heymikey80]

I hope it's a close, warm church.

I'm sure they'd appreciate what you can do just to engage them & talk if they want to talk.

 

[freezerman2000]

Get them a copy of the book "Where is God When it Hurts?" by Phillip Yancey.

I would also recommend "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis.

There is another book called "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott that may help.
when my dad died, I read it, and it helped immensely.
Peace