How can I tell my wife that weight is an issue in our relationship?

[RevelationOfGodsLove]

Romanseight2005,

You really had some awesome words of wisdom. However, I do not think it's fair to say it's one spouses responsibility to maintain their attraction to their spouse. Yes, we love our spouses unconditionally for who they are, but I believe we have an individual responsibilty/ obligation to take care of our bodies and ensure that we do all we can to stay healthy and attractive. The Bible say's that we no longer belong to ourselves but to eachother. Also, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The prior two reasons alone should be enough motivation for us to make healthy lifestyles a priority. Before my husband and I got married, we use to always have conversations about why people go out of their way to be attractive in the "Dating Stages"(e.g. working out, applying makeup, keeping hair/nails neatly groomed, maintaining clean & fresh hygiene, wearing cologne/perfume, etc. ) Then, for some reason after marriage, people tend to neglect appearance! I do not understand this logic. It's almost as if people say in their minds, "I got'em now!" Why do we not continue doing the same things to keep the person attracted that we did to attract them in the first place?? I work out, try to eat well (try), and many other things not because I feel like my husband will stop loving me if I don't. To the contrary, it is
because I love him so much, I want to look good for him. I want him to be proud of his beautiful wife! I want to turn him on! I want to be healthy and feel confident! I want him to want those same things for me! As Christians, I feel like it is very important that our relationships maintain the highest level of honesty, romance, and commitment. We do whatever it takes to please eachother and anything that threats as a hindrance should be addressed. I believe Holy Spirit will always give us the right words of grace/ love to address any situation if we ask Him. Our Father loves us so much that if something is important to us, it's important to Him too! So let's not feel guilty if something about our spouse is troubling us. Pray about it first, ask Holy Spirit for guidance, and follow His lead! You'll never go wrong

 

[RevelationOfGodsLove]

Romanseight2005,

You really had some awesome words of wisdom. However, I do not think it's fair to say it's one spouses responsibility to maintain their attraction to their spouse. Yes, we love our spouses unconditionally for who they are, but I believe we have an individual responsibilty/ obligation to take care of our bodies and ensure that we do all we can to stay healthy and attractive. The Bible say's that we no longer belong to ourselves but to eachother. Also, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The prior two reasons alone should be enough motivation for us to make healthy lifestyles a priority. Before my husband and I got married, we use to always have conversations about why people go out of their way to be attractive in the "Dating Stages"(e.g. working out, applying makeup, keeping hair/nails neatly groomed, maintaining clean & fresh hygiene, wearing cologne/perfume, etc. ) Then, for some reason after marriage, people tend to neglect appearance! I do not understand this logic. It's almost as if people say in their minds, "I got'em now!" Why do we not continue doing the same things to keep the person attracted that we did to attract them in the first place?? I work out, try to eat well (try), and many other things not because I feel like my husband will stop loving me if I don't. To the contrary, it is
because I love him so much, I want to look good for him. I want him to be proud of his beautiful wife! I want to turn him on! I want to be healthy and feel confident! I want him to want those same things for me! As Christians, I feel like it is very important that our relationships maintain the highest level of honesty, romance, and commitment. We do whatever it takes to please eachother and anything that threats as a hindrance should be addressed. I believe Holy Spirit will always give us the right words of grace/ love to address any situation if we ask Him. Our Father loves us so much that if something is important to us, it's important to Him too! So let's not feel guilty if something about our spouse is troubling us. Pray about it first, ask Holy Spirit for guidance, and follow His lead! You'll never go wrong

 

[JRSut1000]

Revelation, your wording is very well-done! In all honesty, each of us who are married should care about our bodies not only for our own health and to feel good but also to please our spouse. There's obviously a line there that shouldnt be crossed (such as anorexia or whatever). But to try to lose weight for self and spouse...its not a bad goal.

I guess the issues or factors that come into play is 1) is the husband being supportive of his wife and in how he talks about these things with her?) 2) has she tried to lose weight and for medical reasons is having a really hard time? 3) Is she struggling from depression, this can prevent or hinder positive motivation to be healthy or active or eat right.

p.s. you double posted by accident.

 

[KimberlyAA]

I think you should talk to her about it in the nicest way possible. But maybe you guys could try fitting in a regular exercise schedule and possibly reducing the amount you eat per day.