how can I help my friend?

[x.miranda.x]

Ok. So there's this guy. We are really close friends. And he tells me just about everything. So I realize he needs help. And yes, I pray for him all the time. I just need advice on what I can do....
First off, he loves his girlfriend. He would do anything or her. But she treats him really bad. One day she says loves him, the next she breaks up with him. And they always end up getting back together. And he is super insecure about the whole thing, and I am his emotional support basically. He tells me everything that goes on, and asks my advice. He has a rough life in general. But he is an amazing guy, and I really try and help him. But I don't always know what to say or do. And I shouldn't have to be his emotional support (not that I have a problem with him coming to me, but i feel like I'm not help). And he is not a christian. I am actually getting him to come to my church's event this Friday though.

Any ways.... And advice on how to help him? I really care about him, and hate to see him all upset like this...

 

[goldenviolet]

hi!! you sound like a mature young woman. if i was to give you advice, it would be. to try and see this another way:

you are the seed, Jesus is the Savior.

no matter what you do, or don't do.. Christ is incontrol. because you give Him your free will, He will get you through this, and with plenty of blessings to this friend as well. you will grow to realize that even when we fail our own standards; Christ Jesus is the Savior. we are only the seed. blessings to you for trying to be an obediant daughter! i pray that you will recieve solid-long-term knowledge from your outreach in fellowship here. xo dee

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8

 

[x.miranda.x]

I just never know how to help him

 

[seashale76]

Prayer IS the biggest help. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. You are fifteen and you can't change him, or his girlfriend, or the fact that he doesn't feel he can go to an adult with this. Telling a fifteen-year-old (even another fifteen-year-old telling another one) that they don't need to be in a serious relationship after they've already put themselves into one...well...it will literally take an act of God to change their mind. Teens given the time and opportunity to get themselves into such situations by neglectful adults in their lives, do so because they're looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. Just be his friend, listen, and resort to prayer- i.e. what you've been doing. Don't fret. ((hug))

 

[bliz]

Praying for him, and listening to him are some of the most powerful things you can do.

When we are little, love us defined for us through what we experience. It sounds like love got defined for him as neglect, mistreatment and abuse. At some level, he does not know that life can be any different. He needs to know about our loving Father God.

 

[goldenviolet]

I just never know how to help him

try and see this another way:

you are the seed, Jesus is the Savior.

you just do your job; by just being you. the Savior uses even our flaws to serve others. it doesn't matter that you feel like you aren't enough. your job in this life is to just commit your ways to the Lord, and show others the way by living 'outloud'. (shine your love and wisdom by telling about what the Savior has done for you). xo dee

you are the seed, Jesus is the Savior.

 

[Orahh]

Let God use you to lead him to christ, first and formost and then the lord will lead him what to do

 

[pilgrimgal]

Obviously you care for this guy and have been acting in a Christian way in the friendship..but I can sense the frustration you now feel regarding his coming to you repeatedly about this. And that is okay..if it were me I would be frustrated too. Frankly, you may have to just tell him that you don't have the answers to his situation, that you are praying for him, and then suggest someone, preferably an adult (like a youth minister) he can discuss his feelings with. Sounds like he is getting the run around from this girl and he is coming to you to dump his feelings about someone else which can be flattering, but just because you are a caring Christian doesn't mean you have to continue to be available for that.

Prayers for your wisdom and guidance to continue regarding what is God's will for you to do and the better thing for both you and him.