Hook me in 20 words or less

[Christianfantasy]

I LOVE these new entries--you writers are GREAT! Some of the longer ones are the most intriguing, and they are not over the limit. Many many posts ago I suggested we extend the limit to Hook me in Thirty Words or Less. It didn't catch on immediately, but I'm so happy to see a few longer entries sneaking in at last. Sometimes the imagination reqires more than twenty words to run wild with!

I just wish there were stories to go with these fascinating openers! At least some of them would be superb, beyond a doubt. Also, I look forward to reading more; please, keep them coming!

 

[K9Guardian]

Bren's first step into the temple echoed in the large, circular chamber. He hesitated a moment, reflexively putting a hand to the empty ssheath at his side, then took another slow step, and another. The echoes surrounded him as he advanced towards the center of the room. Where the last monk in the world stood waiting.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

June 16th, 2007, that is the night I discovered a dead man laying in the road.

 

[sunstruckdream]

There was no denying it; I was feeling pretty invincible. Not too many humans come to a point in their lives where they can pitch through an interdimensional portal without so much as a gasp.


Ack, I went over. Oh well, sue me =p

 

[TrueImpossibility]

Andrea looked nervously at the couple who had answered the door. "Hello, you don't know me. I'm Andrea, your daughter."

 

[Peace Eternal]

Pinching their noses, for Pirate and his crew were not fond of sweet smells, they made their way along the side of the wall, keeping to the dim shadows.

(Rather bad I know. It is from a short allegory I wrote)

 

[Lessien]

I watched with a mixture of amazement and horror as the young guard saluted me, then dissolved into shadow.

 

[AutumnSnow]

This is an exerpt from a short story I wrote several years ago ... its the opening scene.

"Here it is," whispered Cassandra. "I've found my grave."

 

[Thunderring]

I slammed my locker closed, completely convinced that someone up there hated me.
Why?
Because of the day I've had.


How's that?​

 

[NavyGuy7]

It's one of those days; the vampires are getting cocky, and I have to teach them whose city this is.

 

[violetpen]

Mysteer Castle loomed in Karel’s view, its dark stone melting into the nighttime forest. A sliver of moon revealed a lone sentry rounding the east corner of the castle wall.



30 words exactly!

 

[Thunderring]

I am swift.
I am strong.
I am deadly.
I am unstopable.
I am about to die.

15 words right there.

 

[Thunderring]

Hehehe! I like this thing!

For the third time Angel checked the address on the help wanted flayer in her hands. It looked like the right address.​

 

[Thunderring]

What else can I come up with.....

Death is to short for a tratior, so he knew he couldn't be caught.

 

[Thunderring]

Any one think these are any good or do they stink?

 

[IfIonlyhadabrain]

I had no idea a writer's guild existed on CF. Cool! And I really like this thread. So many great one-liners.

The following is a draft copy of the first line of a story I'm in the process of constructing. It's 21 words I know, but oh well.


The itchy trickle of blood down his forearm lolled in the back of Jon's mind as he tensed for the kill.

 

[Lessien]

Can you kill someone without being a murderer? Alex didn't think so, but the dark blood stains on his jeans said otherwise.

 

[Namlesstar]

"Fantastic," Alice thought, as the snow began again. She drew up her hood in attemps to stay warm.

 

[Thunderring]

This is the only warning I'll give you. After this what happens is your fult.

15 words

 

[firzenr]

The dark, gloomy night slipped away, the blood was still there; darkness reigned. His father would never speak another word--again.

Exactly 20 words. I can do much better if I didnt need to go to the bathroom.

Oh here's another one--

Read on bravely, or die.

That should hook you. If you really believed though.