Hook me in 20 words or less

[Christianfantasy]

I think you summed it up well, Ninjitsu—a sense of satisfaction. Plus, depending on how skillfully and realistically the plot and characters have been presented, some people could also take away the message, ‘If there’s a second chance for Character X, maybe there’s hope for me too.’ If that isn’t too farfetched.

Anyway, your sequel sounds as fascinating as the first story. I hope I get a chance to read more of the latter.

 

[Shicoco]

Actually, no theme is a bad theme if done correctly. If backed by a good plot, then it can turn out good.

The basic theme to Avatar was good overcoming evil...and I absolutely love it. It also had a unique plot, and great character interaction and development.

I guess what I mean is watch out that your story doesn't have a weak theme. I said something like this before. Take this plot:

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. He fights his way to the killer and eventually gets his vengeance.

Yawn. Ok, let's add a theme. Your theme, Christianfantasy.

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. As he fights his way to the killer, he has flashbacks about the love his parents gave him. He caves in and realizes that he can't kill the person who murdered his parents. He struggles, and eventually reaches God, and forgives the killers.

Of course, that's a little better. With a good plot, and in this case, strong character development, this could become a halfway decent story.

Christian Writers...ummm...it's Jesus_luvs_techies' thing...I'm not allowed to post links or urls yet... sorry.

 

[Christianfantasy]

Thanks for elaborating, Shicoco. That revenge story is irresistible. Here’s my version: [Theme: Just when you think things can’t get any worse…]

A boy’s parents are killed and he vows revenge. He’s hopelessly clumsy, however, and flunks out of assassin school. Desperate, he apprentices himself to the world’s most powerful and evil sorcerer. The youth’s ineptitude dogs him, and after one particularly disastrous spell-gone-awry, the sorcerer retaliates by turning the MC into a toad. The MC assumes all he has to do is induce a princess to kiss him. When he finally succeeds: presto! He turns into a garden slug.

But here a different theme takes over [redemption]. The princess, realizing that this was no ordinary toad—and is no ordinary slug—carries the slimy creature to a benevolent wizard. The sorcerer’s spell is broken, the princess falls in love with the awkward but handsome young man [he’s grown in the course of the story] and a happily ever after ending ensues.

Alternate ending: The MC no longer cares about his parents’ killer, but he burns with rage at the sorcerer who turned him into a toad. The story ends with him vowing, if it costs him his last breath, to avenge himself against that dark and evil entity. [Theme: some people never learn.]

 

[Shicoco]

LOL, I'll get the theme music ready

Irresistable? lol, I'd say just-barely-made-it-on-the-shelves-cheap-fantasy-novel haha

 

[Christianfantasy]

“I know I’m close to death,” muttered Simon, “because I no longer care what people say about me when I’m gone.”

 

[Shicoco]

You'll never believe what's on the next page!

 

[kandigurl]

I hate bacon, she said.

 

[Inkachu]

Take this plot:

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. He fights his way to the killer and eventually gets his vengeance.

Yawn. Ok, let's add a theme. Your theme, Christianfantasy.

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. As he fights his way to the killer, he has flashbacks about the love his parents gave him. He caves in and realizes that he can't kill the person who murdered his parents. He struggles, and eventually reaches God, and forgives the killers.

Frankly, I prefer the first plot to the second. Warm, fuzzy, happy-ending stories are irritating to me.

 

[Inkachu]

"I screamed and flailed in protest, yet the hypodermic plunged mercilessly into my arm."

 

[Axioma]

He leaned her head back with one hand and poured wax into her eyes. Afterwards he lit a cigarette and offered her a drag. She made no reply, just sobbed.

 

[sunstruckdream]

I hate bacon, she said.

0.o

How does one hate bacon?!?

That got my attention immediately

 

[sunstruckdream]

"How'd you get that?" he asked.
I feigned innocence, feeling decidedly difficult. "Get what?"
"The scar."
He looked to my blackened forearm. I followed suit.
"Oh. That."

 

[Axioma]

Frankly, I prefer the first plot to the second. Warm, fuzzy, happy-ending stories are irritating to me.

Also, you don't just become an assassin without actually KILLING people at some point. Particularly if you have to "fight your way" to the killer of your parents. So all his Christian mercy will seem like so much sanctimonious, hypocritical posturing, because of all the faceless henchmen he will have killed to get to this point.

"If you kill him, you're just like him!" is stupid if you kill tons of masked extras before that scene.

 

[Christianfantasy]

[FONT=&quot]A black cat, coming out of nowhere, marred the viewing by leaping into the coffin and clawing the corpse’s face.[/FONT]

 

[Jesus_Luvs_techies]

She was invisible...a shadow in the starless night, and she was chasing the man who knew things that could change her life for the better. She saw him climb into a window sill, look back at her, and jump...to his death. Her only chance...dead...

 

[Jesus_Luvs_techies]

(bump)

 

[Twich]

"The last human ever to be born on the Planet Earth was born today and I was there to witness it."

 

[brinny]

Incredibly it stirred, this obscure shadow of a figure, cloaked in darkness, seemingly forgotten.

 

[brinny]

Silence fell, and in the stillness, a rustling was heard.

 

[brinny]

The silence was deafening.