Homosexual Son

[Zoii]

***Quick Preface*** Hi everyone, my wife and I are trying to find some answers to a very politically and socially charged question. We have a son that has moved out decided that he is not a Christian, etc... and informed us that he is choosing to live a bi-sexual, non-monogamous, lifestyle. We have 5 other children at home and have talked in depth with them from young ages about sexuality, god's design for sex, etc... This question is not about showing him we disapprove of his lifestyle, or punishing him for his choices, etc...

***Concern*** We are concerned about sexually transmitted diseases and infections. When we read online medical commentary that is talking to parents (or people not living this kind of lifestyle) it all says there is VERY little risk, of another person getting an STD / STI. BUT... When you read medical advice for the person that is having sex with multiple partners, of different genders there is all kinds of medical advice from pretty liberal sources (like planned parenthood) that says STI / STD's can be transmitted via touch with or without open cuts (if someone has touched their genitals, not washed hands well after using the bathroom, etc), via saliva (i.e. on dishes, countertops, etc...), using the same bathtub, laundry, etc... We are concerned about having our son come stay in our home. When he lived here he did not follow our rules (he would sneak inappropriate contentography into the home etc...) We do not feel that he would follow any guidelines or rules that we ask if he comes to visit.

***Question*** Do we NOT have him come home for holidays and visits? If so, how do we keep our other children safe from STD's / STI's?

Sounds like your suggesting to not see your son again. Does he feel the same way?

 

[Paidiske]

In a way, it strikes me that this concern is really not about STDs or sexual behaviour and more about communicable diseases in general. It has parallels in other parenting concerns about allowing unvaccinated children over for play dates, and that sort of thing.

At the end of the day, each of us has to work out the level of potential exposure to communicable diseases with which we are comfortable (for ourselves and our children). But I would suggest that Christianity - as a social religion, which is expressed in gathered community - pushes us towards embracing some level of such risk as part of what goes with doing life together in general.

 

[Emmylouwho]

I can tell that you have some deep feelings about this. I'm looking for constructive advice and suggestions. Not hate, criticism, mis-characterization, and trolling. Please don't keep trolling this thread. If you have things to say that are not insulting, or driven by your judgement of me I would welcome them. Otherwise please don't keep filing this thread with these types of comments.

I agree 100% that someday he will come home, even if it is not in this lifetime. BUT STI's and STD's can be transmitted outside of sex. Even planned parenthood agrees with that and they would be one of the MOST slanted opinions you could get... But that is a good point about being out in public at all... Thank you! That gives me more to think about!

fatherofseven, I have an idea. Why don’t you talk to your family doctor about it? Ask your doctor about the risks of letting your son come over, and what precautions should be taken.

 

[JohnAshton]

Great suggestion, Emmylouwho.

 

[FreeinChrist]

ADVISOR HAT

This thread had a clean up. Any flaming needs to stop.​

 

[JAM2b]

Similar situation with my oldest son as far as sexuality goes, and he lives in another state for college and comes to visit.

Just take reasonable precautions. Don't have your children take baths unless it's been sanitized (a precaution that is worth using at all times, under any circumstances, if you have a houseful); Keep the toilet seats clean. Store cleaner or sanitizer within reach for quick sanitizing frequently throughout the day, takes less than a minute. If you are in the habit of keeping your home clean, then quick sanizting throughout the day is not difficult or a lengthy process.

 

[DaisyDay]

Do you have 5 young children you'd like to offer up as collateral for your judgmentalism and your scientific facts?

I'm not the one being judgemental. As for the 5, how young are they? If they have reached puberty, you really don't know what they're doing or with whom. If any of them are sexually active, they pose the same risk as the prodigal son. I'm not saying they are, but you wouldn't necessarily know.

After all, the kids haven't done anything wrong, so should they sacrifice safety?

You don't know what they have or have not done. Presumably, as they all have friends outside the family with whom they associate, it is impossible to guarantee safety - don't most accidents occur in the home, anyway?

As for "wrong", is this to be punishment, then?

 

[Emsmom1]

Fatherofseven: thank you for this: "We love him just as he is. I believe that God loves him just as he is..." Your son is lucky for that. I have a best friend who is gay. I can't believe the vitriol I've read on some Christian message boards, including a Christian who used the f word (the word used to describe a cigarette in the UK).

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

***Quick Preface*** Hi everyone, my wife and I are trying to find some answers to a very politically and socially charged question. We have a son that has moved out decided that he is not a Christian, etc... and informed us that he is choosing to live a bi-sexual, non-monogamous, lifestyle. We have 5 other children at home and have talked in depth with them from young ages about sexuality, god's design for sex, etc... This question is not about showing him we disapprove of his lifestyle, or punishing him for his choices, etc...

***Concern*** We are concerned about sexually transmitted diseases and infections. When we read online medical commentary that is talking to parents (or people not living this kind of lifestyle) it all says there is VERY little risk, of another person getting an STD / STI. BUT... When you read medical advice for the person that is having sex with multiple partners, of different genders there is all kinds of medical advice from pretty liberal sources (like planned parenthood) that says STI / STD's can be transmitted via touch with or without open cuts (if someone has touched their genitals, not washed hands well after using the bathroom, etc), via saliva (i.e. on dishes, countertops, etc...), using the same bathtub, laundry, etc... We are concerned about having our son come stay in our home. When he lived here he did not follow our rules (he would sneak inappropriate contentography into the home etc...) We do not feel that he would follow any guidelines or rules that we ask if he comes to visit.

***Question*** Do we NOT have him come home for holidays and visits? If so, how do we keep our other children safe from STD's / STI's?

I don't get this. 1) Has he ever shown signs of sexually assaulting your kids or anyone else. 2) Does he have a sexually transmitted disease. 3) Would he try give your other children sexually transmitted diseases . I had an foster uncle , that had AID's in the 80's. Before AID'S even had a name. And people didn't what was causing it. He never tried to give it to the kids or his parents. I remember my foster parents having us kids change the sheets and blankets , then we them washed with Lysol. So the foster parent's wouldn't Get this new virus, since they had no clue how to get it. But HIV/AID isn't airborne. So that would leave herpes . If I touch a table at Mc Donald's. There might be a possibility of getting it. But we cant live in fear of these things.