Homosexual Son

[Fatherofseven]

STD's are transmitted sexually.

There has to be transmission from body fluids into the bloodstream of a recipient. And these germs die outside of the body.

I don't think that you want to exclude your son from visits. The comment made above concerning the Prodigal Son's father is quite pertinent. One day he may decide to "come home".

I agree 100% that someday he will come home, even if it is not in this lifetime. BUT STI's and STD's can be transmitted outside of sex. Even planned parenthood agrees with that and they would be one of the MOST slanted opinions you could get... But that is a good point about being out in public at all... Thank you! That gives me more to think about!

 

[Emmylouwho]

I’m glad you had your needs met. What is the upshot? Is he comin’ home for the holidays or what?

 

[Emmylouwho]

I agree 100% that someday he will come home, even if it is not in this lifetime. BUT STI's and STD's can be transmitted outside of sex. Even planned parenthood agrees with that and they would be one of the MOST slanted opinions you could get... But that is a good point about being out in public at all... Thank you! That gives me more to think about!

So will you go further into seclusion?

 

[Emmylouwho]

Also... does he WANT to come back?

 

[Fatherofseven]

You can't get an STD from simply being around someone with one. There are literally millions upon millions of people with various kinds of STDs and STIs, and you almost certainly interact with some every day.

You aren't going to catch an STD by sharing a bathroom with someone, otherwise just imagine the sort of jeopardy you must be putting you and your children in everytime y'all use public restrooms. Neither from eating around one another, or kissing, or hugging, etc.

That's not how it works.

-CryptoLutheran

Just to make sure that someone in the future doesn't read your post and make an uninformed decision there are tons of sites that talk about getting an STD / STI without sex. Especially ones geared towards homosexual couples living in the same house (here's 1 example.);
9 Ways You Can Get an STD Without Having Sex | STDcheck.com.

 

[Fatherofseven]

Love your child unconditionally, their sexual orientation is part of who they are, whether you approve or not. And all you can do is love them. Just because they are gay doesn't mean they are "dirty", gay people don't magically get sexually transmitted diseases and infections, they get them the same way straight people do.

I think your fears are unfounded. And you should simply do the right thing--love, embrace, welcome, and cherish your child as your child.

-CryptoLutheran

I would like to clarify something you have misunderstood. Mainly to make sure others understand my views, and do not assume something about me from your mis-characterization (even if unintentional). We love him just as he is. I believe that God loves him just as he is (that is another discussion). We are honestly looking for ways to include him... We also love our other children unconditionally, and are faithful in our duty to protect them.

I do not believe that having homosexual feelings makes a person dirty. I DO believe that having non-monogamous sexual relationships can make a person a carrier of an STD / STI.

 

[Fatherofseven]

Emmylouwho said: ↑
Do you use public restrooms? Do you eat at restaurants?

Emmylouwho's comment has everything to do with your post.

Love unconditionally. The son is not a danger to his sibs if he is not a sexual predator.

Not according to research.

 

[Fatherofseven]

My heart is grieved at what you are facing. I have some close friends who worked in STD clinics, and the discussions make me realize what you are saying. And Bro Gardner seems to get that point. I would agree that there is reason to think that you are offering our family as collateral for their physical health but also for their mental/spiritual health. I can say that I've heard of families sharing hepatitis from razors and inadvertent contact with feces. Even innocent people can get hepatitis A through contaminated restaurant food from the unwashed hands of a carrier. Herpes can be shared before it becomes an obvious outbreak. Your concern is valid. No matter how small the risk, the fact that the risk exists becomes an issue of love. Would it be wrong to have an honest conversation about who sacrifices what in order for the family to stay safe? Maybe the errant son needs to sacrifice his rights to come home in order to protect his siblings and parents? After all, the kids haven't done anything wrong, so should they sacrifice safety? Just wondering aloud. Yes, seek God regarding this really painful situation. He delights in judgement as well as lovingkindness. May He give you a plan.

Thank you. Whatever our decision we will have a conversation with our son and discuss what we have found, what our concerns are, and that we love him as much as out other kids. That will be a hard conversation, and likely he will not understand at first. he will feel like ViaCrucis' post that we feel he is dirty... Lots of thought, prayer, and fasting will go into this decision and our conversation with him.

 

[Fatherofseven]

Also... does he WANT to come back?

yes, we actually have a great relationship with him. We wish we could help him spiritually more, but for now the foundation of love is there.

 

[A_Thinker]

Just to make sure that someone in the future doesn't read your post and make an uninformed decision there are tons of sites that talk about getting an STD / STI without sex. Especially ones geared towards homosexual couples living in the same house (here's 1 example.);
9 Ways You Can Get an STD Without Having Sex | STDcheck.com.

Honestly, the types of contact represented here are not typical (some of them are sexual) ... and they're something that proper hygiene can virtually eliminate.

I guess the real point is that there's no more risk in your case ... than if your son were heterosexual ... and spreading his seed a bit.

Gay people are no more of a risk ... than sexually active straight unmarrieds are ...

 

[JohnAshton]

Not according to research.

Your children are in greater danger in school or church than of their sib at home.

As a heterosexual who is sexually active, your son would be no different than what he is now.

 

[Emmylouwho]

Just to make sure that someone in the future doesn't read your post and make an uninformed decision there are tons of sites that talk about getting an STD / STI without sex. Especially ones geared towards homosexual couples living in the same house (here's 1 example.);
9 Ways You Can Get an STD Without Having Sex | STDcheck.com.

Tons of sites? Give me some real EXAMPLES.

 

[JohnAshton]

Fatherofseven said: Just to make sure that someone in the future doesn't read your post and make an uninformed decision there are tons of sites that talk about getting an STD / STI without sex. Especially ones geared towards homosexual couples living in the same house (here's 1 example.);
9 Ways You Can Get an STD Without Having Sex | STDcheck.com.

Tons of sites? Give me some real EXAMPLES.

What tons of sites?

 

[Bro. Dave Gardner]

.

You're much too kind. Thank you for venturing to reach out. I know God is going to bless you. With seven children to love, it appears that He already has done so abundantly!

 

[bekkilyn]

Just to make sure that someone in the future doesn't read your post and make an uninformed decision there are tons of sites that talk about getting an STD / STI without sex. Especially ones geared towards homosexual couples living in the same house (here's 1 example.);
9 Ways You Can Get an STD Without Having Sex | STDcheck.com.

I don't know about your family, but nothing on the list you linked ever happens at my family gatherings, i.e. we don't go around kissing each other, rubbing up against each other while naked "down there", giving each other blood transfusions, sharing needles and razors, etc. The only possibility of catching an STD per this list during a typical family gathering might be food contamination, and that's not something that could be prevented by isolating a family member and could happen at any time and any day even when by oneself.

 

[Fatherofseven]

I don't know about your family, but nothing on the list you linked ever happens at my family gatherings, i.e. we don't go around kissing each other, rubbing up against each other while naked "down there", giving each other blood transfusions, sharing needles and razors, etc. The only possibility of catching an STD per this list during a typical family gathering might be food contamination, and that's not something that could be prevented by isolating a family member and could happen at any time and any day even when by oneself.

Good points. In our research we've found sites that say if a person with an STI touches their genitals then makes contact with another person disease can be spread. Those sites also say disease can be spread through shared hand towels, laundry, food, contact with bodily fluids on sinks, toilet seats, etc... The argument that we could be exposed while in public is a good thing to think about, and my wife and I will discuss that. BUT there are a lot of things we could be exposed to in public that we do not CHOOSE to bring into our home.

 

[bekkilyn]

Good points. In our research we've found sites that say if a person with an STI touches their genitals then makes contact with another person disease can be spread. Those sites also say disease can be spread through shared hand towels, laundry, food, contact with bodily fluids on sinks, toilet seats, etc... The argument that we could be exposed while in public is a good thing to think about, and my wife and I will discuss that. BUT there are a lot of things we could be exposed to in public that we do not CHOOSE to bring into our home.

However, in your own home, you could simply require all family members to wash their hands and maybe use some of that anti-bacterial hand stuff when they arrive and after they use the bathroom (though they likely wash up already) and that basically takes care of any possible hygiene problem. And as someone mentioned above, none of the above is limited to homosexuality, so even straight family members could be bringing all the same things into the home whether they (or you) are aware of it or not.

You might be interested in this article:

What Can You Catch in Restrooms?

I think you are over-thinking and causing yourself a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

 

[Bro. Dave Gardner]

Good points. In our research we've found sites that say if a person with an STI touches their genitals then makes contact with another person disease can be spread. Those sites also say disease can be spread through shared hand towels, laundry, food, contact with bodily fluids on sinks, toilet seats, etc... The argument that we could be exposed while in public is a good thing to think about, and my wife and I will discuss that. BUT there are a lot of things we could be exposed to in public that we do not CHOOSE to bring into our home.

Another winner. I don't mean to engage in undue flattery, but you must be awfully humble to hope you can find wisdom here beyond that which you seem to have already been granted of the Lord.

 

[Chris V++]

I just google herpes and learned it can't be spread thru inanimate objects, like drinking glasses, but it can be spread thru skin to skin contact, like kissing, or presumably even shaking hands (hand herpes.) But the same would apply if your son was straight and just dating. It seems to me that if viruses like herpes could survive outside skin to skin contact we would all be infected already, given the frequency in which we handle community objects, like gas pumps,shopping carts, door handles, hand rails, cutlery place by the busboy at the restaurant etc.
They've test community peanuts or pop corn at bars in the past and find urine in those snacks.
This is why I try to avoid the door greeters at church. It's like shaking hands with everyone who they already shook hands with. And during flu season. Why?

 

[JohnAshton]

You, with all due respect, seem to have an agenda to fill, Fatherofseven, that is beyond the OP's title. I believe it is not others who are mis-characterizing or trolling. Listen to me: love your son. Do not isolate him. He is no danger to his sibs anymore than a sexually active heterosexual sib. Please don't keep concern trolling.