Hi

[solaceintherain]

Hello. Signed up for CF a long time ago... don't know that I ever posted anything though. Anyway- struggling with severe depression. Need to get over it. A single mom of 2, a full time job, no support from the ex... really need to get it together so that I can function.
Not sure why I'm posting all that here except I just need prayer.
Thanks

 

[Winter]

Praying for you ....

Hang in there.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Will do.

 

[miss-a]

Sharing can be helpful when you're down. I'm glad you checked in. Praying for you,

a

 

[Victorium]

You do have a lot on your plate to contend with and you probably don't get some time out for yourself. Try to have some time out like every Sunday afternoon or something so you can catch up with friends and/or just relax by yourself and let your thoughts unwind. You may even have some unresolved grief about your situation so it would be wise to talk to someone about that.

You can always come here and post your thoughts. There are many loving and supportive people here that will listen to you.

Praying for you.

Victor.

 

[plumsink]

Praying for you....

 

[solaceintherain]

Thank you all for thoughts and prayers. I do see a counselor- and actually my kids are gone for a bit to grandma and grandpas so i've had all this time alone to "fix" whatever it was I needed to fix before they got back so I could be a better mom. That was the plan. And for awhile- after starting a new medication- I really did feel so much better. Not sure what has changed. Just feel like I'll move up but will inevitably be stuck in this same spot again you know? And now my kids are coming home in a couple weeks and I don't feel any different than when they left, and I haven't done anything around the house I was going to do because I haven't been any sort of motivated. *sigh* And I totally self- sabatoge. I drink and cut and watch movies on depression and suicide and do all this stuff I know makes things worse but yet I dont exercise much, or get much sun (I work nights) or hang out with people (I prefer isolation) and dont do all the stuff I know would help. And I can't figure out why?? When I'm doing good I'm doing the helpful stuff and not the harmful stuff...but when I'm doing bad I go back to the old ways of harmful stuff like I'm trying to be there or keep myself there. So then I feel totally guilty for doing all that I do and not doing all that I should do which makes the depression worse which makes me less motivated and yadda...yadda....
Anyway, thanks for the prayers, and letting me vent.

 

[Victorium]

That's alright, it's good that you let it all out.

You sound like you're emotionally exhausted solace. When you say "cut" do you mean self-harm?

Yer, drinking and watching those kinds of movies can mess with your thoughts and that is something you have to work on otherwise that sort of lifestyle will take you down and you do have to try and get out into the sun everyday and exercise so you can get into a positive routine. I don't get enough sun myself as I sleep odd hours so after I finish this I'm going out for a walk - It's daylight this side of the world. I know you got a lot to deal with, but you have to work on changing your lifestyle solace, at first you may fail, but you get up again and keep trying until you succeed and remember to pray always! I don't want to lecture you because I just don't know you enough so please don't feel guilty. You need love in your life. Do you belong to a GOOD church? Having God's spirit and love can help you to overcome all of this and teach you about what's happening in your life. We can run from deeper issues in our lives through our lifestyle and this can affect our self-esteem/well-being, that's why it's good to talk to someone who has spiritual insight and also spend some time with yourself in introspective soul-searching for spiritual growth. There is a great life for you solace! A happy and fulfilled life!

Hope I haven't carried on too much, just hope I can help you out?

You're always welcome here to vent anything on your mind, no one will judge you and others here are very loving and supportive.

Victor.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry it's tough, sweetie.
You have been given some good advice here.. but I know how overwhelming it can seem to even begin to put it into practise.
I find it helps me to make a list of things to do, starting with the little ones (get up, wash, dress, eat breakfast) and moving on to bigger ones (put in laundry, go for a walk, vacuum etc). Being able to tick off a couple of thinks, even if it's just getting out of bed, gives me a sense of achievement, and more motivation to move on to the next thing.

Praying for you, sister

 

[mandelduke]

Praying and believing for you!

 

[solaceintherain]

Victor, yeah by cutting I mean self-harm. I don't do it often, I'll for for months and months without it- but then something in me snaps and I do it again I do belong to a really great church but it's big and I'm pretty socially isolated... very hard for me to not be but I am working on that. Talking to a couple more people, and it's only taken me 2 years to do so *rolls eyes* And no you haven't rambled, your posts have been encouraging to me.

Criada- that's a very good idea. I get so overwhelmed by the smallest of things. I make lists but they are all to do lists in no particular order of daunting tasks. (clean out closet- take clothes I dont wear to good will, clean out drawers in kitchen and bathrooms, etc... way to much for me to even care about right now)

And Mande- thanks

 

[Victorium]

Victor, yeah by cutting I mean self-harm. I don't do it often, I'll for for months and months without it- but then something in me snaps and I do it again I do belong to a really great church but it's big and I'm pretty socially isolated... very hard for me to not be but I am working on that. Talking to a couple more people, and it's only taken me 2 years to do so *rolls eyes* And no you haven't rambled, your posts have been encouraging to me.

I do hope you get on top of that - self harm - and understand why you do it. Sounds like you're making the steps towards understanding yourself and growing.

That's great that you go to church and I hope you do meet good friends there. We all need a least a couple of good friends to love us and feel comfortable opening up too.

I'm glad I was encouraging.Take care and do pray always it does help. Also remember you're always welcome to vent your thoughts here, you will find many can empathize with you.

Victor.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

(((((solaceintherain)))))

 

[solaceintherain]

It seems like there used to be a "thanks" icon at the bottom of each post where I could hit thanks to the poster... maybe that was a different forum site... anyway, thanks to everyone for being so supportive.

 

[solaceintherain]

Victorium, I don't know if you'll see this or not since the thread is a little bit older but I wanted to say thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I can't PM you back because apparently I don't have enough posts to PM people. But anyway, thanks

 

[Live In Stereo]

Hello. Signed up for CF a long time ago... don't know that I ever posted anything though. Anyway- struggling with severe depression. Need to get over it. A single mom of 2, a full time job, no support from the ex... really need to get it together so that I can function.
Not sure why I'm posting all that here except I just need prayer.
Thanks

My prayers.