Hi

[Tinkerbell33]

Thanks for the advice everyone, it was really useful and helpful. God Bless.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

nm

 

[Super Kal]

you know exactly who has told you that you are unlovable... and don't you dare believe him. You ARE loved

Satan has a deceptive way of playing with our minds and letting the thoughts of worthlessness and depression creep into our minds... know that those feelings and thoughts do not come from Jesus, because Jesus said He loves you... more than any of His other creations. I personally know how tempting those feelings of suicide are, having gone through them myself last year... always know that in these storms in lief, there are two sides: the side that constantly works to destroy you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and your Father who constantly helps you through the pain and suffering and in the midst of the storm, bring you closer to Him and help you see just how much He truly loves you

Don't give in to those thoughts of worthlessness... if you were truly worthless, God never would of created you in the first place; the fact that He created you means that He has a very special place in His Enormous heart for you... His Word says "never will I leave you nor forsake you"... Never once has Jesus EVER broke a promise, and He will NEVER break that promise... always know that through Jesus Christ, you can do ALL things, and that includes persevering through the rough times in life...

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

God doesn't leave us at the first sign of trouble... He promised us that he would always be there for us, helping us, encouraging us, carrying us through that which seems impossible... it's a beautiful thing to know that Christ meant it when he said "with God, all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26)

all of us here love you, and want the best for you... Jesus loves you even more than we ever could... He does so much and has done so much for for you than any of us ever could... He will continues to love you and be there alognside of you, even when we can't see it

Isaiah 41:10
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

that's how much He loves you, Becky... no matter how bad things get, no matter how distraught life becomes, and no matter how dismal situations are in life, He will ALWAYS be there, helping us through it.

 

[loved33]

Hi Becky

I can really relate to the 'feeling like you dont belong' feelings youre having. when i was growing up there was a lot of craziness in my house too...i too began to be full of fear and yet knowing i had to survive because i couldnt count on anyone.

i really know that loneliness..it is a bitter cold in the heart, the feeling.

it is a feeling..and it has come from damage ..you are right.

something that really helped me through this feeling was a preacher called Jack Frost. He too had crazy parents,violence ...i think his mother too tried to commit suicide. he's gone to be with the Lord now but he taught on the Father Heart of God.

He is very frank about his childhood and goes into it in real detail. he shares thru his being..he radiates what God has revaealed to him, namely, God has revealed His tender love to Him.

JACK FROST HAVING BEEN THE MAN HE USED TO BE, angry, driven to perform , addicted to approval, no basic trust, had to be best at everything, alcohol, drugs, inappropriate contentography,he was no angel.....now cant stop crying...he 's apologised to his own kids and he descibes that journey which wasnt straightforward...AND ITS BECAUSE HE 'S HAD THE HEALING OF KNOWING THE FATHER'S HEART...REALLY KNOWING. HE HAS HAD WHAT YOU ARE CRAVING...HEALING FROM YOUR PARENTAL WOUNDS.

Sorry i went into caps there for a while...no reason...the website you can find his stuff on is shilohplace.com i think its in North Carolina.

I beleive it would only help to hear him....it was a turning point for me....i got it on a vhs as i saw he was on God Tv at one time. now and then...when i feel the chill....i put it on ...it always brings me light and warmth and hope and love...the Father

im in your corner, *you* were made by loving hands..before you even got into your mothers womb....you were lovingly designed and held by your Father. He will stop at nothing til you know how valuable you are to Him, He will stop at nothing to get this mind of thoughts, damaged thoughts thru lack of nurture, to heal your thoughts and share His with you. The bible says He never sleeps and He is the kind of Father who sings over His children. He kneels and washes dung off sandalled feet....

Jesus said ...if youve seen me youve seen the Father...he's gentle, comes down to your eye level...no matter how crusty or stinky the dung clung onto you....He's looking into your eyes...you matter..He'll take the time to check your eyes...how are you? He s not afraid of dirt or dung.....Love is Who He is...love is all He CAN give. He loves you warts and all, right now....He 's not in a rush..He doesnt need you perfect to go out and cope with the demands of a dying world.....no...He knows YOU. H e knows youve been being brave, alone, for too long...He wants you to be the child and for Him to look after you. You need that intensive care. Youre His precious lovely daughter and He is so proud of you.

 

[Everlasting33]

Good posts thus far. God loves you and He brought you into the World for a special purpose..He is also our Healer and Redeemer!

I can relate to your post. I never fit in with the girls at school. I felt unloved at home and unliked at school. I was also quiet and nice...and also an easy target for ridicule and bullying. The years of neglect and abuse at home only was compounded by rejection at school. Naturally, I became more depressed and I tried to kill myself a number of times. I hated myself and I hated what had happened to me. Very frustrating and difficult to go through.

While I still struggle with remains of my past, I have reconciled with some inner demons and I have felt pretty good in recent months. Inner child therapy has opened up the floodgates for change and applying compassion and forgiveness has also encouraged healing.

When negative things happen around us, children will often attach the message onto themselves. "I'm annoying mommy...I am annoying." "Im making mommy sad...I am bad." "I m being difficult to everyone around me...I am not wanted." Instead of being able to see objectively at the situation, children protect their parent's image and begin to apply a critical, self-image often guided by their own parents.

I urge you to seek compassion, love, and forgiveness toward yourself. The desire for suicide only suggests a great amount of self-hatred and rejection that is marring you into a deep darkness.

When we feel so bad and unlovable, we think its true. This is the hard part...to move on spite the pain and believe something that we don't feel is true. Difficult, huh! But, empathy and compassion for your inner child is a great way to start recovery.

I will pray for peace and joy to fill your spirit!