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Hi. My Name is......

justanobserver

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Hi everyone! I am stopping by to say what will probbly be goodbye for a while. I am planning on moving Nov. 30th. My apt. won't be ready until then.

I had to go back through and read everything and I hate I won't be here to share with you all. Maybe I will be in a position soon to get hooked up to the internet.

May everyone be blessed and I love you all.

Brandy

:eek:

Brandy - you will be missed!!!!!! Please get back on line as soon as you can. Wishing you well with your move and getting settled. :wave:
 
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justanobserver

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Because of a very dear friend, who shared how much better she feels after being honest with her struggles and assurance that I'm loved and accepted.....

Friday...I picked up a 4 pack after dropping Nolan off at work. Yep the day was one I haven't experienced yet and the evening wasn't much better. Excuses???? No because there are NONE! For a while the buzz felt good...but of course while it wore off...I began to ask myself if I would make stupid choices like this for the rest of my life...this playing with fire and not thinking I'm going to get burnt.

I've suffered today physically and emotionally due to Friday nite....and slept most the day away....is it worth it??? NO!!!

Anyways...just wanted to share this with people who could understand...people I consider my friends.

Wendy

LoL... you already know what I am gonna say! You are so very correct in what you said in your post - you are loved and accepted and people here understand.

It takes what it takes and it will happen when it happens. Jim summed it up pretty well when he stated your not thru until you have had enough.

And Friday night dont change the fact that your my friend and I care. If you slip 50 more times and keep coming back 50 more times until you get it right for you - well, like I said - it takes what it takes.

:wave:
 
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justanobserver

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hi everyone thankyou for the warm welcome here. I have to see my pdoc tommrrow regarding my eating disorder.
Love
Taylor

Hi! good to "see" you again. not sure what a "pdoc" is (primary doctor??) but I hope it all works out for you tomorrow.:thumbsup:
 
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justanobserver

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Hey, where is everyone? Was it something I said. Been checking every day. Norm, hows the project going? JIM

Hey Jim! hows things? Some days this thread is moving and other days, well, its quiet but its all good.

Havent done much further yet on that project. if you got some ideas or resources such as links or sites that that can be used to say "here is proof that this is..." or that is..." kinda thing - PM me or, shoot, just post it here.

But I been thinkin on it every day - a sticky or something that would be a FAQ on alcoholism and there would be the proofs to dispell the opinions.
 
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justanobserver

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howdies to all.

not much happening - just wanted to drop in and say howdies.

been thinkin real serious about a gthread or get enough "info" put together to have a Mod make a sticky - but soemthing that would be a FAQ section on what alcoholism is.

the purpose is that I been to enough other threads thru out CF here and the number of peopel that just dont know or dont undertsand what alcoholism/an alcolohic is is huge.

What a lot of people think alcoholism is is their opinion, not facts.
so, I thought maybe get enough info and do a one stop thread that folks can get referred to.

for ex: is alcoholism a disease? link/site/info

can one be "cured" link/site/info

signs/symptoms - link/site/info

these are just basics.

now, if anyone that posts here or peruses here or reads here or passes thru here does have soemthing to add or a site that shows/proves/etc about alcholism, then please either post here it here or PM me and I will put together a thread for teh Mod to look t to make a permament sticky thingie out of.

Any thoughts?????????????????????
 
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PrairieGurl

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Hey, where is everyone? Was it something I said. Been checking every day. Norm, hows the project going? JIM


Hey Jim :wave:

Just been working, sleeping and trying to keep from freezing up here in the North :D

Haven't been on CF much except to reply to my pm's.

Glad you're 'checking' every day :)

wendy
 
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PrairieGurl

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now, if anyone that posts here or peruses here or reads here or passes thru here does have soemthing to add or a site that shows/proves/etc about alcholism, then please either post here it here or PM me and I will put together a thread for teh Mod to look t to make a permament sticky thingie out of.

Any thoughts?????????????????????

Thoughts???? :confused: :scratch: Are you kidding Norm??? ;) :D
Those with me are few and far between :D

It's just been a bit since I myself admitted, I was an alcoholic.
Because I work in the healthcare system and work in a Hospital in the 'getto' part of town...I have all the proof I need that alcoholism is a disease.
I think some people just find that hard to admitt or understand...regardless what those who know share with them.

I am so relieved that I have not been craving or thinking about having a drink for quite sometime. (or at least it feels like quite awhile...I haven't read to see how far back I posted my 'slips')

PS for Norm
pdoc is short for psychiatrist

Winnie
 
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mustang_94

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Hey Jim :wave:

Just been working, sleeping and trying to keep from freezing up here in the North :D

Haven't been on CF much except to reply to my pm's.

Glad you're 'checking' every day :)

wendy
WELL hey yourself, I'm so glad you're doing O.K.. I have developed a real liking for this thing and the people in it. Starts to feel like home. You know, like home alone:D . Just kidding. It is good to hear from you. Most of us don't do too well without our buddys. I always figure I'm just one emotional binge away from getting plowed under. Thanks for dropping by. Ya,ll come back, Yuh heear.:cool:
 
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PrairieGurl

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WELL hey yourself, I'm so glad you're doing O.K.. I have developed a real liking for this thing and the people in it. Starts to feel like home. You know, like home alone:D . Just kidding. It is good to hear from you. Most of us don't do too well without our buddys. I always figure I'm just one emotional binge away from getting plowed under. Thanks for dropping by. Ya,ll come back, Yuh heear.:cool:

Home Alone Jim :D

It does feel like home here. Sometimes when I 'check in' and find no new posts...I'm a lil disappointed :sigh:

Just finding a "peek in" like Garnet just did...makes me feel someone cares :)

I have truly come to see you all as friends. My AA buddies. :)

Wendy
 
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mustang_94

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I have been thinking about writing a book for years. My sponsor has always said I should. So, I recently started on one.
I would be grateful if you folks would go to the writers guild on the hobby page here on C.F. and read what may be the foreword to a book. I would be very interested in your opinions and comments.
Being an alky, I have some concerns about doing this. I think the book should be written, but maybe not by me. Other than having a bent towards story-telling, I don't have any skills for it. Can't type, bad speller, etc.
Thanks, Jim:scratch:
 
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justanobserver

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howdies. havent posted here for a couple days. just got a ton of stuff on my mind keeping me occupied. ever since the Army recruiter called the day before Thanksgiving wanting to know if I wanted to come back in, its been an emotional rollercoaster.

was given a list of documents and stuff to come up with from my past career as well as personal life and when sorting thru boxes of folders, etc filled with one's history, the memories are or can be overwhelming. reading old orders to less than fun places, reading after action reports of bad things, looking for the first time at reocrds that I havent looked at for over 6 yrs and now with a sober eye seeing the downward spiral in my personal and professional life then. the counselings from my sergeants and officers, the letters of caution and reprimands for conduct unbecoing due to excessive drinking, the papertrail showing the quality of my ability of being an NCO as well as a human being and how it reflected on my performance due to my drinking, the copies of the courts and arrests, the weka statements from me trying to explain why I was AWOl from base for several days at a time, etc etc etc.

went thruy another footlocker of paperwork/files I have of me and its like opening a Pandora's Box.

The main thing i was looking for and I cannot find is my paperwork showing my completion from military rehab back in Jan '00. I completed the course with the strict stipulation of remaining clean and sober for a year after I was back with my unit (that lasted less than 24 hours when I was released from the clinic) but now seeing all the other paperwork of recommendations for my being separated from active duty, recommendations for discpilinary actions, etc.

Just seeing a steady downhill spiral of my life then makes me appreciate where I am today - not so much a civilian but sober AND clean.

but its hard at this time to forget the horrors of a bad past with the reminders that I am having to look thru.

just pondering a very important and crucial point in my life right now. that is, if I am qualified to go back in.

just got some things on my mind right now is all.

I want to serve - all i need is a year and half and I got enough time to qualify for my retirement 11 yrs from now at age 60 (man! that sounds way old for a young'en like me!!). But like I told the recrioters last night who was here in my home, I am an open book, total disclose of everything, that I AM an alcoholic and I aint gonna deny it - even if it costs me my chance of re-upping. Its who I am and what I am.

anyhooooos, just wanted to tell the world and my friends here where I am at this moment in time.

keep me in your thoughts, please.
 
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mustang_94

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Am praying God will open doors for you, Norm. I have seen him make a way when there was no way. I was reading on your profile page and I thought of a book that I love and would recommend. It's called HIND'S FEET ON HIGH PLACES by Hannah Hurnard. It's a great read and a wonderful story. By the way, how are things with your son? Best wishes, Jim
 
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justanobserver

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Am praying God will open doors for you, Norm. I have seen him make a way when there was no way. I was reading on your profile page and I thought of a book that I love and would recommend. It's called HIND'S FEET ON HIGH PLACES by Hannah Hurnard. It's a great read and a wonderful story. By the way, how are things with your son? Best wishes, Jim

Still witing to hear about whether its a go or not - this is just to find out if I can take the physical to see if if I can go back in. :sigh:

still waitin on word from my son. he was suppose to find out this past 7 Dec how long prison will be but we havent heard if the DA/Judge accepted his lawyers' offer/counter-offer or not. :sigh:

hurry up and wait.....

meanwhile, been fightin urges for hot totties this time of the year....:help:
 
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Garnet2727

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Still witing to hear about whether its a go or not - this is just to find out if I can take the physical to see if if I can go back in. :sigh:

I hope it works out for you. I think that going back in will help to resolve some things for you. On the other hand, it frets me that you could be back in harms way. My nephew, who has already served one tour in the Army is being recalled. My brother-in-law was recalled and is now in a hospital in Texas recovering from back injuries as a result of an IED. It's such a crap shoot.

still waitin on word from my son. he was suppose to find out this past 7 Dec how long prison will be but we havent heard if the DA/Judge accepted his lawyers' offer/counter-offer or not. :sigh:

hurry up and wait.....

*huggles* I know this is tough. I'm a former probation officer so if you have any questions I might be able to answer, my PMs are open.

meanwhile, been fightin urges for hot totties this time of the year....:help:

Me too! Actually, it's more of an urge for "Irish" coffee. I've been substituting sugar-free hot chocolate...it helps.
 
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PrairieGurl

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I have been thinking about writing a book for years. My sponsor has always said I should.
I completely agree with your sponsor!
So, I recently started on one.
I would be grateful if you folks would go to the writers guild on the hobby page here on C.F. and read what may be the foreword to a book. I would be very interested in your opinions and comments.
Jim...your 'forward' is sad, touching, pull at the heart strings, hey, that happened to me, wow...is this guy ever honest, this man has come a long way...if he can ... maybe I can, there must be hope for me kinda read. I think many could relate.
Being an alky, I have some concerns about doing this. I think the book should be written, but maybe not by me.
I'd have to disagree with you there, Jim.
Other than having a bent towards story-telling, I don't have any skills for it. Can't type, bad speller, etc.
Did you write this Jim? If so I can't tell you have problems with typing, bad speller??? where'd you get that from (and that's why we have 'proof readers' :D) and I'd sure like to know what the 'etc.'

I really hope you go ahead with this book. And when you finish...I would like a personally signed copy :D

Wendy
 
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mustang_94

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:wave: :wave:
I completely agree with your sponsor!

Jim...your 'forward' is sad, touching, pull at the heart strings, hey, that happened to me, wow...is this guy ever honest, this man has come a long way...if he can ... maybe I can, there must be hope for me kinda read. I think many could relate.
I'd have to disagree with you there, Jim.
Did you write this Jim? If so I can't tell you have problems with typing, bad speller??? where'd you get that from (and that's why we have 'proof readers' :D) and I'd sure like to know what the 'etc.'

I really hope you go ahead with this book. And when you finish...I would like a personally signed copy :D

Wendy
Thanks for the kind words. This a lot like taking your clothes off in public.:blush: You just don't know how people will react. I have told my story from the podium several times in A.A. meetings. I was sober a long time before I would tell the whole truth about things. Man, I have had strange reactions to it. I have been called a shameless liar. By perfect strangers! Some people have thanked me and told me about their own traumas.
I wish I knew how to paste the stuff in the forum so that it retained the paragraph structure and spacing. And by the way, I'm a hunt and peck typist and thank God for spellchek.
I have done some work on the first chapter and will post what I have done soon as I clean it up.
JIM
 
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PrairieGurl

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:wave: :wave:
Thanks for the kind words. This a lot like taking your clothes off in public.:blush: You just don't know how people will react. I have told my story from the podium several times in A.A. meetings. I was sober a long time before I would tell the whole truth about things. Man, I have had strange reactions to it. I have been called a shameless liar. By perfect strangers! Some people have thanked me and told me about their own traumas.
I wish I knew how to paste the stuff in the forum so that it retained the paragraph structure and spacing. And by the way, I'm a hunt and peck typist and thank God for spellchek.
I have done some work on the first chapter and will post what I have done soon as I clean it up.
JIM

:wave:

See....you are VERY good with words...who would have come up with 'taking your clothes off in public' to explain sharing from your soul. (as you can read...I'm not very good with words. Hopefully you catch my drift :D )

I can see how some would find your story hard to believe...I know if I wrote mine...they would sell it as a thriller/fiction. :eek:

And you know Jim...if your writing touches/helps one turn their life around...it would be worth it.

I look forward to reading your first chapter.

Wendy
 
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