Hey...

[BalletDancer]

Hi everyone
So I just found out that we had this forum! haha, I didn't even see it! I'm sort of struggling right now...but trying to recover. It's soooo hard.

I've been anorexic for almost four years and during that time I've been in OP/IOP treatment programs which did NOT help. I still am not sure if I want recovery, because I don't feel like my ed is consuming me enough.

I still do everyday stuff, there was a while where I couldn't dance but I know not to get down to that number of cals again or go so long between meals. Currently I'm not counting cals at all because I know it will trigger me. Instead I'm trying to eat every meal and trying to have a snack. key word=trying.

People tell me that I have a very distorted view of my body, but I don't really think I do. I know that my upper body is fairly small, but I know for a fact that my lower body is huge. everyone tells me it's not, but I just don't see it.

Lately I haven't been praying for God's help with recovery. and I'm not sure why....I'd like to know.

soooo..hi!!!

 

[BrokenForHim]

welcome to this part of the forum...praying for you...and I swear I've seen your pic. before hmm...

 

[BalletDancer]

hmmm, you have? do you remember where?

and admittedly, I've been to pro-ana boards too....

 

[Nobility]

Ok hun... Firstly start taking on what those people say about you and tell yourself that you are aren't heavy, your lower body isn't huge, you are beautiful and positive things like that... Continue saying them when those bad thoughts come in

I'll be praying for ya, if you haven't been Remember that God thinks you are so precious

 

[Soulwings]

Hey there! and welcome to this forum. I hope you'll find a lot of support and encouragement - I think we've got a bunch of wonderful people here, and that we've got a really good support network as well.
It's great that you're seeking recovery... and I think all of us here know how freaking hard recovery actually is, so you aren't alone!! I've been through an IP program as well, and while it got me back on track as far as eating goes, the whole mindset thing hasn't really changed. But anyway....
I agree with Hannah (Nobility) in that you should try listening to what everyone else has been telling you. It can be almost guaranteed that people with EDs have distorted views of their bodies. So....... I don't know if you're really exempt from that just cos you think you see what is really there, when it's different from what everyone else sees. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, ........ HI back!!

 

[Shannie]

Hi and welcome to the forum