hey ladies i need your opinion

[SRTera]

Hello ladies, i need your opinion on something. I will get to question after i tell you what is going on 1st.

Last weekend, one of my friends got married. I sat with some friends at the table, basically i was the 3rd/5th wheel because everyone had a date and i was by myself. It got me thinkin i hate being the 3rd wheel, i kinda feel guilty for being the 3rd wheel when my married friends do stuff with me.

Ok, i am going to get to the part i need your opinion on. So there is girl, that i knew for along time, i always had a crush on her but never told her. I talk to her once in awhile and when we hangout we have fun. However, after this wedding i went to, got me thinking that i wish i had someoen to go these with or have someone and possibly turn into marriage. I am not going to go up to this crush and be like "Hey lets get married" However, according to her Facebook looks like she had a date with a guy because there is pictures of her and new guy in her life. I want to tell her how i feel.

Do yall think its pathetic to text her about the feelings? Or would that be awkard? Another option i was thinking was to start out slow try to start a convo via text then eventually build up and tell her what i want to tell her.

What would you ladies do/feel if you got a text from a guy that expresses his feelings? Would you blow him off because he didnt say it face to face, would you think about and text back, etc...

I honestly do not know what to do, i wish i could tell her face to face but we live far apart

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I personally would never be 'offended' by getting a text from a guy spilling his guts and his feelings for me. However! ...I don't recommend it. Though it wouldn't necessarily bug me, I think it's definitely the wrong way of expressing one's feelings for another. Sp please, don't text her. If you're capable of texting her, the obviously you have this girl's number...why don't you actually 'call' her? That's way better then texting.

Now, having said all that, my personal advice would be not to tell her your feelings at all. Why? Because she obviously already has someone in her life. She's unavailable, so what would be the point in talking to her about it? ...It's only going to cause problems. I would just wait things out. Wait and see if things work out or not with the guy she's with. If it doesn't work, then call her up, chat a while, and then slowly begin to drop the bomb.

 

[Keri]

If she is involved with someone, then yes it would be awkward. Whether you build it up or not, no one likes being pursued when they're currently happily involved. It doesn't matter if you live far apart or not. I don't see distance being a factor here, just the fact that you said it seems she is happily involved. Wait until you know she is single.

 

[chuck77]

Nice truck dude. Is that a Dodge Ram? I like it, I have one too. There are some nice women here. I think you'll get some good advice.

 

[Humble Pie]

If this girl's only just started to date this guy then now is the time to tell her how you feel. I would go visit her and tell her face to face that you've been thinking about her and feel a connection, would she like to spend some time with you? Then if she says she's got this new guy you say "oh too bad huh" but she'll know you're interested and think you're a gem for seeing what a great girl she is. If it is too far to travel then call her. Good luck!!

 

[TheOliveSeed]

Since she has someone in her life now, I don't think it's a good idea to tell her.

 

[zoebliss]

you & her are obviously not on the same page. maybe she likes you back, maybe not. but the best way to find out is to ask her casually if she's seeing anyone. good luck.

 

[Socktastic]

Do you actually want something to develop or are you feeling like this because you've been to a wedding, feel like a third wheel and no longer want to be a third wheel so you've thought about someone who could possibly fill the gap because you do like them but not enough to have expressed this before?

Of course if it's spawned from more than just feeling a bit lonely/out of place and it was just an event that allowed you to realise that if you want to become involved with someone you have to be proactive about it then I would say go for it. But really, really think about whether you want her, or whether you want what other people have.

Think about whether you'll regret not telling her more than you'll regret telling her. Think about whether or not you'd regret it at all. Tell her if you really want to, and I mean really want to and will regret not doing so, just tell her. You know, it may be awkward if she's with someone else. You may lose a friend because honestly, it's difficult to maintain friendships with people who like you when you don't like them* especially when you're in a relationship.

What would I do? I'd tell him to sleep on it, ring me in the morning and then we can talk.


*obviously in the romantic sense, not the friend sense.

 

[SRTera]

Nice truck dude. Is that a Dodge Ram? I like it, I have one too. There are some nice women here. I think you'll get some good advice.

its actually a Ram SRT with the Viper Motor, i wish i purchased one.



And ladies its not like i have anything to lose.Cant lose something if i never had it in the 1st place

If i get shot down i would be fine, at least i would have it off my chest. As for the 3rd wheel comment, i didnt start to think about this after the wedding, it got my thinking more about it. I always thought about this, would be nice to have someone

 

[MacFall]

Catch your feelings in a jar
Grind them into powder
Throw them in a garbage can
Like seven week old chowder.

 

[SRTera]

Catch your feelings in a jar
Grind them into powder
Throw them in a garbage can
Like seven week old chowder.

rhey bben in a jar for awhile n it broke

 

[Satine]

To me, texting is a very throwaway way of communicating so if you can't do it face to face, perhaps an email or even better, a phone call would be better. I'd be tempted to go with phone call as you get to hear her tone of voice and she yours, so more of what is actually said in the conversation will be picked up.

Best of luck to ya!

 

[septemberskies]

Texting is not bad but I prefer being told of feelings face to face.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

I haven't read all of this but don't text. So much can be misunderstood through text. I've been talking to a 'friend' in the last few days via text and he read stuff into what I said that wasn't there. Part of it is paranoia (on his part) I think, but I've learned my lesson. No serious discussions through text.

 

[Blank123]

Texting a confession... Its not wrong or bad, but it does send a message about your ability to communicate. If it all possible, if you do choose to tell her how you feel, try to do it face to face. If there's a distance issue, then communicate however is best for the two of you.

However... This is assuming that she isn't actually dating anyone. If she is involved with someone, it would be disrespectful to say anything. No matter what method of communication you choose.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Better to do it in person. If the distance is too far, then how would a relationship work anyway? Texting is a no no IMO. And you can't gage her feelings or expression on the phone and even on the phone it's still less personal. You said you have hung out in the past. Ask to hang out and then tell her in person, how you feel.
You're right about having nothing to lose, but you don't want to lose something potentially just because you went about it in the wrong way, do you? Relationships are important, and you should treat it as such, if you really like this girl. JMHO.

 

[Sweet Melody]

I don't see anything wrong with telling her how you feel, but maybe texting is not the best way.