I don't even know where to begin. Well, I do - I have been praying on this and am just hoping someone has advice. It's almost laughable, but not really. And sorry this is so long.
My husband is down right gross. He will not use soap on his person and he NEVER brushes his teeth. I bought him the soap he says he wants and it is never used - three bars have sat for a year. He has dust on his deodorant I've bought him. He has horrible b.o. and this greasy smell. Also, he has had the same tube of toothpaste for a YEAR and it doesn't have a dent in it. He has horrible breath and plaque on his teeth and it's DISGUSTING. I can't kiss him - I usually offer my cheek because it's so gross. He won't wash his hands after bathroom time. He will not wash his hair and has horrible dandruff. He says he has dandruff because of a skin problem - the skin problem is it's never washed!!! And he won't even comb his hair, it's always a mess and he thinks if he puts a hat on you can't see it. You can, it's just terrible.
You may say, why don't I talk to him. Impossible. He has a few problems with anyone saying anything to him. I can gently say something and he will get mad, yell abusive things at me and storm out of the house so I've stopped trying to ever say anything about any of his behaviors. He also has a horrible lying problem. He will lie about serious things and little things. I have caught him in lies and he will still lie about it! even with proof that he's lying!
Also, he does a few other things that bother me. He thinks it's ok for him to give out his cell phone number to women he works with. I think it's inappropriate. He's a flirt but I don't THINK he's ever cheated on me. He also swears alot and uses Jesus's name as a curse word all the time. I can't say anything to him though - I've tried and he just says I'm being over zealous and then he gets mad and storms out of the house. And it's as if every little thing he does he has to be the "king". He tries to make out how he's so tough about things, how he's the best at everything. His favorite technique is to put down any accomplishment I acheive and "prove" how he is better. It's just so weird how he has to constantly re-affirm his "superiority".
He has no respect for my opinions, as well. I still try to honor him and serve him as I believe the Lord would have me do. I made the mistake of getting divorced from my first husband and vowed I will not do that again, and I will keep my word - I will obey the Lord. But it is near impossible for me to have any respect for him at all. I do love him even though he's stinky and immature. Also, I have a problem with how he deals with his daughter (not mine, his from an ex-girlfriend). He doesn't have anything to do with her. He makes excuses to not see her. I will admit the ex has made it difficult but I still don't think it's an excuse.
Also, I have tried to explain to him over and over again about Jesus as savior and he says he believes and prays and reads his Bible, but I don't think he really gets it. He says he will be forgiven when he dies - I tell him you need to be forgiven NOW, and when you die it's too late.
And, I don't want to be lewd or anything, that is not my intention, but I have no wish of being intimate with him EVER. I just do so as my duty but I pray during the whole thing for it to be over because he just makes me sick. And he tries to do things he knows I think is creepy and I feel used and disrespected.
I know divorce is NOT the answer. I will not disobey Jesus - I did once before and am so sorry for it. And I love this man because God calls me to. I try and help him and do everything I can for him but I just cannot respect him or even really like him. His attitudes, his refusing to bathe, he just makes me sick.
We are both 40 years old and have been married 3 1/2 years. Any advice? I know this stuff sounds almost funny, but I'm really not trying to be funny. I'm just hoping someone will be able to help me somehow.
My husband is down right gross. He will not use soap on his person and he NEVER brushes his teeth. I bought him the soap he says he wants and it is never used - three bars have sat for a year. He has dust on his deodorant I've bought him. He has horrible b.o. and this greasy smell. Also, he has had the same tube of toothpaste for a YEAR and it doesn't have a dent in it. He has horrible breath and plaque on his teeth and it's DISGUSTING. I can't kiss him - I usually offer my cheek because it's so gross. He won't wash his hands after bathroom time. He will not wash his hair and has horrible dandruff. He says he has dandruff because of a skin problem - the skin problem is it's never washed!!! And he won't even comb his hair, it's always a mess and he thinks if he puts a hat on you can't see it. You can, it's just terrible.
You may say, why don't I talk to him. Impossible. He has a few problems with anyone saying anything to him. I can gently say something and he will get mad, yell abusive things at me and storm out of the house so I've stopped trying to ever say anything about any of his behaviors. He also has a horrible lying problem. He will lie about serious things and little things. I have caught him in lies and he will still lie about it! even with proof that he's lying!
Also, he does a few other things that bother me. He thinks it's ok for him to give out his cell phone number to women he works with. I think it's inappropriate. He's a flirt but I don't THINK he's ever cheated on me. He also swears alot and uses Jesus's name as a curse word all the time. I can't say anything to him though - I've tried and he just says I'm being over zealous and then he gets mad and storms out of the house. And it's as if every little thing he does he has to be the "king". He tries to make out how he's so tough about things, how he's the best at everything. His favorite technique is to put down any accomplishment I acheive and "prove" how he is better. It's just so weird how he has to constantly re-affirm his "superiority".
He has no respect for my opinions, as well. I still try to honor him and serve him as I believe the Lord would have me do. I made the mistake of getting divorced from my first husband and vowed I will not do that again, and I will keep my word - I will obey the Lord. But it is near impossible for me to have any respect for him at all. I do love him even though he's stinky and immature. Also, I have a problem with how he deals with his daughter (not mine, his from an ex-girlfriend). He doesn't have anything to do with her. He makes excuses to not see her. I will admit the ex has made it difficult but I still don't think it's an excuse.
Also, I have tried to explain to him over and over again about Jesus as savior and he says he believes and prays and reads his Bible, but I don't think he really gets it. He says he will be forgiven when he dies - I tell him you need to be forgiven NOW, and when you die it's too late.
And, I don't want to be lewd or anything, that is not my intention, but I have no wish of being intimate with him EVER. I just do so as my duty but I pray during the whole thing for it to be over because he just makes me sick. And he tries to do things he knows I think is creepy and I feel used and disrespected.
I know divorce is NOT the answer. I will not disobey Jesus - I did once before and am so sorry for it. And I love this man because God calls me to. I try and help him and do everything I can for him but I just cannot respect him or even really like him. His attitudes, his refusing to bathe, he just makes me sick.
We are both 40 years old and have been married 3 1/2 years. Any advice? I know this stuff sounds almost funny, but I'm really not trying to be funny. I'm just hoping someone will be able to help me somehow.
