WARNING: If you're still strugling with faith, or you're a little shaky when it comes to God, please don't read this. The last thing I need is to find out I made someone stumble or hurt their relationship with God. This is for people who are rocks in God, with strong faith and hopefully alot of wisdom.
Hi. I was wondering if anyone can tell what bible passage says something along the lines of: If you do something you know is bad, and still do it, and don't repent, you will be judged. I believe it's in the new testament, and I really want to understand this passage more.
For some time now my life and faith has been destroyed by this passage. In large part this passage has kept me from feeling forgiven by God, this passage has lead me to suicidal thoughts, this passage has made me be bitter towards God. For the most part the passage is the bane of my life.
Now I can't completely blame the passage. I have been cursed with a legalistic and pessimistic mind. Which basically makes me into a pharisee, but because of my pesimism the legalistic persucution isn't turned against others, it's turned against myself.
I fear almost everything I do is bad. I won't get into many specifics because I don't want to hear you're varying views on what is good and what is bad (that might mess me up more). I will, however, give one example: For the last few months or so I have been working a novel with some friends. It is an action, sci-fi, adventure story. I have many concept drawings, I have a large part of the story mapped out. A few days ago I was talking to one of my friends about how much fun this is, and how it seems like this is what we were meant to do. I will admit I don't love God, and have not loved God ever. I have been trying and working on it though since I became a born again. With that said my story you could say was not inspired by God. I believe in justice, compassion, fighting for good, etc., so it does have good morals.
The problems then started. There will be action (and violence) in the novel, it is a hero/action story afterall. The characters will not be perfect moral people (they're regular people in an action story). The friends I'm writing the story with are non-christians (they're not horrible, amoral, bad people, but they are not christians). Again, when I'm about to write I don't think "what would Jesus do...". Other things start to pop in my head: Is this an idol? I'm enjoying this experience alot afterall. Is this for the glory of God, or just for enjoyment, am I living out my characters life vicariously because his life is more exciting (meaning I don't appreciate what God gave me), am I going to cause someone to stumble when they read my story and take it the wrong way and turn into a murderer. You can see where this goes.
I guess I'll give a few examples more examples of how my mind works: I'm a soccer goaly, but I'm not too good. I, however, found a way to get more mentally prepared and to play better. I heard from a friend that while he was in the army they would be told to think that they were tigers, and that this would motivate them to run faster and have more energy. I thought "I'll pretend to be a superhero (Batman... yes I'm a goof) while playing goaly, which will help me be more mentally prepared to play". But then it starts... Is Batman your idol? Shouldn't you be calling on Jesus to help you play better, not some false idol? Another example is cheering for my favorite soccer team. I start to worry if its an idol, if maybe I care more for the team than for God. Or better yet, a good soccer game is going to come on TV. Well, if God asked me to not watch what would I say, which turns into: If you watch the game than you fail God, because if you watch the game you're creating an idol. And so on...
What this comes down to is that my legalistic and pessimistic way of thinking never lets me rest. If there's anyway something can be spun into a bad thing I can think it up. So now everything is bad. My favorite pass times are bad, even mundane things are bad (Romans 14: 23 doesn't help my cause either). "Oh but you're forgiven by Jesus, your sins are erased, you're fine, everything is ok, life is good!!!". Not according to the passage I heard one day in church. If you know something is bad, and still do it, and don't repent, you will still be judged. And Romans 14 really finishes me off by solidifying the fact that if i fear something is bad, then it is. So now I have so much to repent about, which is insanely difficult in itself if you're talking about true repentence, and my life is now a waste. Enjoying life has become synonymous to sin to me. And to top it all off passages that say hating your life is a good thing make me think God did indeed plan it like this.
So I am asking for two things:
1. Can anyone tell me where to find the passage I'm looking for. I really need to look into it.
2. And for the love of God can someone please prove to me I'm wrong. I don't mean say "Don't worry!!! Jesus loves you!!! He died for your sins!!!". I know Jesus loves me, but God will still fry my ass if I do what that passage says not to do. And yes, Jesus died for my sins, but again according to that passage I can still mess it up and go you know where.
Please God, send someone to prove me wrong!!! I know I don't deserve it, but I'm tired of living in a black and white world feeling unforgiven, I'm tired of imagining my mom crying and in pain if I ever did something to myself, I'm tired of having no hope for the future, I'm tired of cursing you for this my pain. Please someone help me.
Hi. I was wondering if anyone can tell what bible passage says something along the lines of: If you do something you know is bad, and still do it, and don't repent, you will be judged. I believe it's in the new testament, and I really want to understand this passage more.
For some time now my life and faith has been destroyed by this passage. In large part this passage has kept me from feeling forgiven by God, this passage has lead me to suicidal thoughts, this passage has made me be bitter towards God. For the most part the passage is the bane of my life.
Now I can't completely blame the passage. I have been cursed with a legalistic and pessimistic mind. Which basically makes me into a pharisee, but because of my pesimism the legalistic persucution isn't turned against others, it's turned against myself.
I fear almost everything I do is bad. I won't get into many specifics because I don't want to hear you're varying views on what is good and what is bad (that might mess me up more). I will, however, give one example: For the last few months or so I have been working a novel with some friends. It is an action, sci-fi, adventure story. I have many concept drawings, I have a large part of the story mapped out. A few days ago I was talking to one of my friends about how much fun this is, and how it seems like this is what we were meant to do. I will admit I don't love God, and have not loved God ever. I have been trying and working on it though since I became a born again. With that said my story you could say was not inspired by God. I believe in justice, compassion, fighting for good, etc., so it does have good morals.
The problems then started. There will be action (and violence) in the novel, it is a hero/action story afterall. The characters will not be perfect moral people (they're regular people in an action story). The friends I'm writing the story with are non-christians (they're not horrible, amoral, bad people, but they are not christians). Again, when I'm about to write I don't think "what would Jesus do...". Other things start to pop in my head: Is this an idol? I'm enjoying this experience alot afterall. Is this for the glory of God, or just for enjoyment, am I living out my characters life vicariously because his life is more exciting (meaning I don't appreciate what God gave me), am I going to cause someone to stumble when they read my story and take it the wrong way and turn into a murderer. You can see where this goes.
I guess I'll give a few examples more examples of how my mind works: I'm a soccer goaly, but I'm not too good. I, however, found a way to get more mentally prepared and to play better. I heard from a friend that while he was in the army they would be told to think that they were tigers, and that this would motivate them to run faster and have more energy. I thought "I'll pretend to be a superhero (Batman... yes I'm a goof) while playing goaly, which will help me be more mentally prepared to play". But then it starts... Is Batman your idol? Shouldn't you be calling on Jesus to help you play better, not some false idol? Another example is cheering for my favorite soccer team. I start to worry if its an idol, if maybe I care more for the team than for God. Or better yet, a good soccer game is going to come on TV. Well, if God asked me to not watch what would I say, which turns into: If you watch the game than you fail God, because if you watch the game you're creating an idol. And so on...
What this comes down to is that my legalistic and pessimistic way of thinking never lets me rest. If there's anyway something can be spun into a bad thing I can think it up. So now everything is bad. My favorite pass times are bad, even mundane things are bad (Romans 14: 23 doesn't help my cause either). "Oh but you're forgiven by Jesus, your sins are erased, you're fine, everything is ok, life is good!!!". Not according to the passage I heard one day in church. If you know something is bad, and still do it, and don't repent, you will still be judged. And Romans 14 really finishes me off by solidifying the fact that if i fear something is bad, then it is. So now I have so much to repent about, which is insanely difficult in itself if you're talking about true repentence, and my life is now a waste. Enjoying life has become synonymous to sin to me. And to top it all off passages that say hating your life is a good thing make me think God did indeed plan it like this.
So I am asking for two things:
1. Can anyone tell me where to find the passage I'm looking for. I really need to look into it.
2. And for the love of God can someone please prove to me I'm wrong. I don't mean say "Don't worry!!! Jesus loves you!!! He died for your sins!!!". I know Jesus loves me, but God will still fry my ass if I do what that passage says not to do. And yes, Jesus died for my sins, but again according to that passage I can still mess it up and go you know where.
Please God, send someone to prove me wrong!!! I know I don't deserve it, but I'm tired of living in a black and white world feeling unforgiven, I'm tired of imagining my mom crying and in pain if I ever did something to myself, I'm tired of having no hope for the future, I'm tired of cursing you for this my pain. Please someone help me.
