I wanted to go to prepare for sleep but ocd was telling me to do a compulsion in my computer.
after spending , minutes in order to do it, I was ready to get up from my computer, when ocd started giving me new worries for a new compulsion, I was fast, when getting up and trying to ignore ocd and somehow, some thoughts popped up in my head, that were probably without my will.
I do not remember exactly, but there is a chance that these thoughts were addressing God, it was like an unwanted fast prayer to God. I mean, the thoughts without my will, had a form of fast prayer. it happened in second. and then, I may have said to myself now I can forget about the compulsion, thanks to these thoughts.
I went in the other room to prepare to sleep and started thinking stuff like
"hang on. did I just maybe made a promise without my will to God"?
I started analyzing the thoughts that popped up but I could not remember much. I remember, me being fast to get up and on the same time, some words without my will that maybe were addressing God? I do not remember.
it is like for a second, I forget about the worries of promises and maybe a part of me, generates these thoughts.
I suffer about it and everyday, I try not to even think the word "promise" it is so tiring. and many times, my ocd makes hypotethical scenarios that ruin my day. it is like a prison.
I just can't always control and analyze my thoughts that second. sometimes, I am anxious, some times I am calm. I can always be in an alert mode. I do not remember what these words were saying but I know they were maybe scary. scary I mean, that they had some words I try to avoid, the words promise and punishment.
it is like doing whan I wanted to do, and ocd trying to stop me from what I want to do and I try to ignore it and automatically, in a se cond, these thoughts without my will about promises to God not to do the compulsion, pop up in my head. I call them "counter-ocd thoughts" and they relieve me so much. but later, they give me more worries.
does this, maybe count, as if I make a mistake for a second, and forget about the worries that these "counter-ocd thoughts" will give me, and maybe they are valid?
they feel different cause maybe, they look like a prayer. I worry, if, for that second, my heart what exactly was thinking? how can I be sure and confirm that they were thgouhts without my will? please help and pray for me
after spending , minutes in order to do it, I was ready to get up from my computer, when ocd started giving me new worries for a new compulsion, I was fast, when getting up and trying to ignore ocd and somehow, some thoughts popped up in my head, that were probably without my will.
I do not remember exactly, but there is a chance that these thoughts were addressing God, it was like an unwanted fast prayer to God. I mean, the thoughts without my will, had a form of fast prayer. it happened in second. and then, I may have said to myself now I can forget about the compulsion, thanks to these thoughts.
I went in the other room to prepare to sleep and started thinking stuff like
"hang on. did I just maybe made a promise without my will to God"?
I started analyzing the thoughts that popped up but I could not remember much. I remember, me being fast to get up and on the same time, some words without my will that maybe were addressing God? I do not remember.
it is like for a second, I forget about the worries of promises and maybe a part of me, generates these thoughts.
I suffer about it and everyday, I try not to even think the word "promise" it is so tiring. and many times, my ocd makes hypotethical scenarios that ruin my day. it is like a prison.
I just can't always control and analyze my thoughts that second. sometimes, I am anxious, some times I am calm. I can always be in an alert mode. I do not remember what these words were saying but I know they were maybe scary. scary I mean, that they had some words I try to avoid, the words promise and punishment.
it is like doing whan I wanted to do, and ocd trying to stop me from what I want to do and I try to ignore it and automatically, in a se cond, these thoughts without my will about promises to God not to do the compulsion, pop up in my head. I call them "counter-ocd thoughts" and they relieve me so much. but later, they give me more worries.
does this, maybe count, as if I make a mistake for a second, and forget about the worries that these "counter-ocd thoughts" will give me, and maybe they are valid?
they feel different cause maybe, they look like a prayer. I worry, if, for that second, my heart what exactly was thinking? how can I be sure and confirm that they were thgouhts without my will? please help and pray for me
