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help the worries are getting more and more

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by Kostilaks, Nov 21, 2019.

  1. Kostilaks

    Kostilaks Member

    347
    +227
    Greece
    Christian
    Single
    I wanted to go to prepare for sleep but ocd was telling me to do a compulsion in my computer.

    after spending , minutes in order to do it, I was ready to get up from my computer, when ocd started giving me new worries for a new compulsion, I was fast, when getting up and trying to ignore ocd and somehow, some thoughts popped up in my head, that were probably without my will.

    I do not remember exactly, but there is a chance that these thoughts were addressing God, it was like an unwanted fast prayer to God. I mean, the thoughts without my will, had a form of fast prayer. it happened in second. and then, I may have said to myself now I can forget about the compulsion, thanks to these thoughts.

    I went in the other room to prepare to sleep and started thinking stuff like

    "hang on. did I just maybe made a promise without my will to God"?

    I started analyzing the thoughts that popped up but I could not remember much. I remember, me being fast to get up and on the same time, some words without my will that maybe were addressing God? I do not remember.

    it is like for a second, I forget about the worries of promises and maybe a part of me, generates these thoughts.

    I suffer about it and everyday, I try not to even think the word "promise" it is so tiring. and many times, my ocd makes hypotethical scenarios that ruin my day. it is like a prison.

    I just can't always control and analyze my thoughts that second. sometimes, I am anxious, some times I am calm. I can always be in an alert mode. I do not remember what these words were saying but I know they were maybe scary. scary I mean, that they had some words I try to avoid, the words promise and punishment.

    it is like doing whan I wanted to do, and ocd trying to stop me from what I want to do and I try to ignore it and automatically, in a se cond, these thoughts without my will about promises to God not to do the compulsion, pop up in my head. I call them "counter-ocd thoughts" and they relieve me so much. but later, they give me more worries.

    does this, maybe count, as if I make a mistake for a second, and forget about the worries that these "counter-ocd thoughts" will give me, and maybe they are valid?

    they feel different cause maybe, they look like a prayer. I worry, if, for that second, my heart what exactly was thinking? how can I be sure and confirm that they were thgouhts without my will? please help and pray for me
     
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  2. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,601
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    God is faster; He is light; light is fast. You can never be fast enough!!
     
  3. Kostilaks

    Kostilaks Member

    347
    +227
    Greece
    Christian
    Single
    what you mean?
     
  4. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,601
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Well,
    You keep talking about being "fast". And to me it seems you mean thoughts being "fast".

    So, I am saying God is faster. He is fast enough to keep you safe from things which attack you. He is fast enough and He knows enough, so He can have us ready for wrong thoughts which will come to attack us . . . so we stay with God in His peace against wrong and cruel thoughts and feelings which would mess with us.

    And He is strong enough, to make us immune against fear and worry and anxiety.

    "Be anxious about nothing" > in Philippians 4:6-7.
    On your own, you can never be enough, never be fast enough or strong enough to hold up against wrong things which would mess us inside of us. But with God we can succeed :)

    So, when things come to mess up my mind and imagination, I think of how I can depend on God to change me to be immune against anti-love things. And God is able to have me loving and caring for people in prayer, instead. And we can be personally sharing with God, deeper and better than any thoughts can have us with God. So, I trust Him, and I do not trust only thoughts that come without His peace and goodness of His love. If they are unloving, do not trust them, certainly do not obey them; they are not trustworthy. And they are not honest; so they won't communicate honestly > they will not be clear with us; but God is honest and kind, to communicate and make us clear and knowing and caring in prayer.
     
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