I am so discouraged. How can my husband be so blessed and talented and yes, anointed yet at home for years he calls me dumb stupid etc...
Based on what you posted, He is Not anointed, He is not walking in the Spirit, He is Not Saved, He does not Love you and In God's eyes you are not married.
He is to treat you with protection and love thus he is not really fulfilling marriage as defined in Scripture. Basically in my humble opinion, those who abuse their wife are not truly married. Read Scriptures on the roles of the husband.
Now, the other scriptures to back up the other statements.
2 Peter 1 Good News Translation (GNT)
1 From Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ—
To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have been given a faith as precious as ours:
2 May grace and peace be yours in full measure through your knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
God's Call and Choice
3 God's divine power has given us everything we need to live a truly religious life through our knowledge of the one who called us to share in his own[a] glory and goodness. 4 In this way he has given us the very great and precious gifts he promised, so that by means of these gifts you may escape from the destructive lust that is in the world, and may come to
share the divine nature. 5 F
or this very reason do your best to add goodness to your faith; to your goodness add knowledge; 6 to your knowledge add self-control; to your self-control add endurance; to your endurance add godliness; 7 to your godliness add Christian affection; and to your Christian affection add love. 8 These are the qualities you need, and if you have them in abundance, they will make you active and effective in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if you do not have them, you are so shortsighted that you cannot see and have forgotten that you have been purified from your past sins.
10 So then, my friends,
try even harder to make God's call and his choice of you a permanent experience; if you do so, you will never abandon your faith. 11 In this way you will be given the full right to enter the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
12 And so I will always remind you of these matters, even though you already know them and are firmly grounded in the truth you have received. 13 I think it only right for me to stir up your memory of these matters as long as I am still alive. 14 I know that I shall soon put off this mortal body, as our Lord Jesus Christ plainly told me. 15 I will do my best, then, to provide a way for you to remember these matters at all times after my death.
1 John 5:3 For our love for God means that we obey his commands. And his commands are not too hard for us,
This text includes the scriptural roles of a husband.
1 John 3-4 Good News Translation (GNT)
3 See how much the Father has loved us! His love is so great that we are called God's children—and so, in fact, we are. This is why the world does not know us: it has not known God. 2 My dear friends, we are now God's children, but it is not yet clear what we shall become. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he really is. 3 Everyone who has this hope in Christ keeps himself pure, just as Christ is pure.
4
Whoever sins is guilty of breaking God's law, because sin is a breaking of the law. 5 You know that Christ appeared in order to take away sins,[a] and that there is no sin in him. 6 So everyone who lives in union with Christ does not continue to sin; but
whoever continues to sin has never seen him or known him.
NOTE: his continuing to treat you that way is a lifestyle of sin.
7 Let no one deceive you, my children! Whoever does what is right is righteous, just as Christ is righteous. 8
Whoever continues to sin belongs to the Devil, because the Devil has sinned from the very beginning. The Son of God appeared for this very reason, to destroy what the Devil had done.
9 Those who are children of God do not continue to sin, for God's very nature is in them; and because God is their Father, they cannot continue to sin. 10 Here is the clear difference between God's children and the Devil's children: those who do not do what is right or do not love others are not God's children.
Love One Another
11 The message you heard from the very beginning is this:
we must love one another. 12 We must not be like Cain; he belonged to the Evil One and murdered his own brother Abel. Why did Cain murder him? Because the things he himself did were wrong, and the things his brother did were right.
13 So do not be surprised, my friends, if the people of the world hate you. 14 We know that we have left death and come over into life; we know it because we love others. Those who do not love are still under the power of death. 15
Those who hate others are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life in them. 16 This is how we know what love is: Christ gave his life for us. We too, then, ought to give our lives for others! 17 If we are rich and see others in need, yet close our hearts against them, how can we claim that we love God? 18
My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.
Courage before God
19
This, then, is how we will know that we belong to the truth;
NOTE: The way he is treating you is contrary to God's truths.
this is how we will be confident in God's presence. 20 If our conscience condemns us, we know that God is greater than our conscience and that he knows everything. 21 And so, my dear friends, if our conscience does not condemn us, we have courage in God's presence. 22 We receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 What he commands is that we believe in his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as Christ commanded us. 24 Those who obey God's commands live in union with God and God lives in union with them. And because of the Spirit that God has given us we know that God lives in union with us.
...
God Is Love
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God. 8
Whoever does not love does not know God,
Note: his behavior is of a person who does not know God.
for God is love. 9 And God showed his love for us by sending his only Son into the world, so that we might have life through him. 10 This is what love is: it is not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the means by which our sins are forgiven.
...
God is love, and
those who live in love live in union with God and God lives in union with them. 17 Love is made perfect in us in order that we may have courage on the Judgment Day; and we will have it because our life in this world is the same as Christ's. 18 There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.
19 We love because God first loved us. 20
If we say we love God, but hate others, we are liars. For we cannot love God, whom we have not seen, if we do not love others, whom we have seen. 21 The command that Christ has given us is this: whoever loves God must love others also.
NOTE: the above is emphasis because that is the key to everything I said.
Roles of a Husband:
Ephesians 5:21-33 Good News Translation (GNT)
21
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. 24 And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ.
25
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. 28
Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (29 None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.) 31 As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.” 32 There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. 33 But it also applies to you:
every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.
Note: it is the fact that he is not living up to his roles as a husband concerning you that I say he truly never married you. He needs to grow up in Christ.