Help! Adulterous Thoughts.

[travellerpete]

I don't know where to post this and I don't want to start a new thread.
I'm married and teaching here in the ex-Soviet Union. I've just been overwhelmed by the most powerful desires for a Russian woman who is teaching me Russian in exchange for English.
And it's not physical! I just want to be in her company all the time and just listen to her and look at her.
I don't want to bed her or break up her marriage. Or even hug her (although it would be quite pleasant)
Many locals act flirtatiously but it's not intended seriously, but her unflagging eye-contact and guileless personality has knocked me for six.
And her husband has welcomed me into their home. And he's going into the Orthodox priesthood.
Of course I look at my own Anglo-Saxon marriage and of course I compare it unfavourably
I

 

[s_gunter]

I just created a new thread for him, and I do think he could use some help with this, before it gets buried.

So this would be my bump....

 

[Autumnleaf]

I don't know where to post this and I don't want to start a new thread.
I'm married and teaching here in the ex-Soviet Union. I've just been overwhelmed by the most powerful desires for a Russian woman who is teaching me Russian in exchange for English.
And it's not physical! I just want to be in her company all the time and just listen to her and look at her.
I don't want to bed her or break up her marriage. Or even hug her (although it would be quite pleasant)
Many locals act flirtatiously but it's not intended seriously, but her unflagging eye-contact and guileless personality has knocked me for six.
And her husband has welcomed me into their home. And he's going into the Orthodox priesthood.
Of course I look at my own Anglo-Saxon marriage and of course I compare it unfavourably
I

What is unfavorable in your comparison?

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Man, get out of there dude!

 

[Mr. Lunt]

If you are unable to be around her without being overwhelmed by desire, you at the very least should not allow yourself to be alone with her.

 

[Godisgr8r]

I agree with Mr. Lunt.

 

[WolfGate]

Run. As fast as you can. Don't look back.

Even if you never touch her, you are already depriving your wife of the adoration, honor and desire for company that it rightfully hers.

After you run, run some more. There's got to be someone else who can teach you Russian.

 

[all4peace]

As Christians . . . when we KNOW something is wrong, we need to takes steps to avoid it. Stop thinking any thoughts or desires for this woman. You should find another teacher ASAP. Think about how you would feel if it were your wife having these desires for another man? Your marriage is sacred. . . do the right thing.

 

[luvmyhubby]

You have a fantasy and are treading in dangerous waters. I have to wonder what is lacking in your own marriage to make you want to turn to this other woman. You need to find a different tutor - preferably male (or join a university class) and then go to your wife and talk about your marriage with her. Don't mess around with this - it is too dangerous and you are going to lose what you have and gain nothing but a lack of self-respect.

 

[travellerpete]

Thank God, the passion has just evaporated.

I now longer just want to just sit and stare and listen.

It was a momentary (well a week) spell. She's not an icon just an ordinary flawed person.

By the way, it's not that easy just to extract myself. My wife is also friendly with this couple. The husband himself has taken a strong liking to me. My pastor out here has strongly approved of the networking I've done.

There is a temptation however still. I do compare at present my marriage unfavourable. Mind you I did this at home in the UK. The women here seem to respect their husbands more and put their marriage some way behind personal self-fulfillment in the world.

I am jealous of that

 

[Telrunya]

All I can say is if your right hand causes you to sin then cut it off. If your eye causes you to sin then gouge it out. If being around this woman causes you to sin then dont be around this woman.

 

[JewelInHisCrown]

My advice to you is this...there is not just physical adultery...there is also emotional adultery. To have these thoughts about this woman is unfair to your wife, whether or not you are happy or not. Also, by involving yourself with her husband and involving your wife in their family too is doing them all an injustice. I would follow the advice of the fellow posters and remove yourself from the situation. Both she & you took vows with your spouses to forsake all others.

I will leave you with this....remember what happened when Eve was tempted with the apple.

I will pray for your situation...I hope you are lead to make a wise decision. May God bless you