Help a new Presbyterian!!!

[Augustine_Was_Calvinist]

Oh, I see. Kid with attitude who thinks that he can tell an entire branch of the confessing church that they are wrong and should, because they prefer the theological distinctive "Calvinist" to distinguish themselves from the many false gospels, hetetical beliefs, and heterodox doctrines, follow blindly the beliefs of one fallible man.

If I am not mistaken, the early church began calling itself the "katholicos(catholic)" church in response to the many heretical cults that called themselves "Christian" too, as a distinguishing difference in doctrine.

 

[Augustine_Was_Calvinist]

Jenda, I don't think it's the lyrics of the song that are being discussed here. Rather, it's about how some churches abuse the song in their alter calls. I've seen some alter calls that seem to go on for hours, because they want to give everone a chance to come on down and get "saved." All the while, the congregation is singing "Just as I am" over and over, and over, and over, and over. Until the pastor decides that everyone who's gonna come on down and get saved has done so. It really can get annoying.

Now here's a scary scenario I have actually witnessed in an Arminian church.

The preacher gives and order to lock the doors, so that no one gets out until a satisfactory number have answered the altar call.

Pssst, don't tell anyone, but usually a grandmother or mother who has Sunday lunch to finish fixing gets her husband or someone to walk the aisle so they can get out of there.

 

[Erinwilcox]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Good Grief! Wait until my father hears about that! Ammo against alter calls. . . I was an Arminian for many years, but I never heard of that! My parents will tell you that at a certain church, there was an alter call every week. The preacher would say stuff like-"Who doesn't love God like they should? Who wants a blessing? Who doesn't pray as much as they ought to? If you'd like to love God more, come up to the alter. If you want to be blessed, come forward. If you want a better prayer life, walk down the center aisle." etc. They said that there was a point where they mutually agreed never to go up the aisle again. They were Christians, but the preacher had everyone walking down the aisle on a weekly basis. That's a way to get good numbers! Have the whole saved congregation go forward. . .

 

[Augustine_Was_Calvinist]

There was one church where the preacher asked everyone who wanted to go to heaven to stand up.

Everyone stood up except this one fella.

After church the preacher asked him why he didn't want to go to heaven.

The fella replied, "I do, but I thought you meant right then."

That one's a joke.

Concerning the other one, it was in a southern charismatic Arminian church, real holy rollers, with a lot of manipulation going on.

 

[cygnusx1]

Now here's a scary scenario I have actually witnessed in an Arminian church.

The preacher gives and order to lock the doors, so that no one gets out until a satisfactory number have answered the altar call.

I know of a group of charismatic Arminian Christians who have all things in common , during a discussion with a fellow "traveller" I asked him if he had any doubts about this group ............ he replied , "yes , I have only felt something was not right once , when the congregation were commanded to link arms and guard the doors to stop anyone from leaving and giving a "full" commitment to Christ/Church "
they were even told to go and wrestle men to the floor (those leaving on another occassion) , anything less would not be love !!!!

Pssst, don't tell anyone, but usually a grandmother or mother who has Sunday lunch to finish fixing gets her husband or someone to walk the aisle so they can get out of there.

great idea .................................... your secret is safe with me

 

[Erinwilcox]

Wow!

 

[cygnusx1]

I know of a group of charismatic Arminian Christians who have all things in common , during a discussion with a fellow "traveller" I asked him if he had any doubts about this group ............ he replied , "yes , I have only felt something was not right once , when the congregation were commanded to link arms and guard the doors to stop anyone from leaving and giving a "full" commitment to Christ/Church "
they were even told to go and wrestle men to the floor (those leaving on another occassion) , anything less would not be love !!!!

This same Church had a habit of casting out demons from anything that moved ....... one Sunday morning we were in this small room , maybe 50 of us , and this one guy lead a few others to literally pounce upon this poor innocent guy , they held him and rammed down their open hands upon his head shouting get out Satan ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but have you guessed it , yes , the more this guy struggled and protested .... the more determined were they that he really did have a demon and they would fight it all the way ........ I can laugh now , but I can tell you I was not laughing then ....... the guy was innocent!

 

[CCWoody]

I have never been in a church that does altar calls, so I didn't know that's what it was referring to. Maybe I can be a calvinist after all!

I don't think that liking the song disqualifies someone from being a Calvinist. I liked the song the first 1,384,700,219 times I heard it. After that, it just got old.

 

[Erinwilcox]

It is a good song. But, I think that you'd definitely be disqualified if you liked it as an alter call. . . Or maybe you'd just be kicked out for liking alter calls period !

 

[Jon_]

It is a good song. But, I think that you'd definitely be disqualified if you liked it as an alter call. . . Or maybe you'd just be kicked out for liking alter calls period !

Soli Deo Gloria

Jon

 

[Augustine_Was_Calvinist]

This same Church had a habit of casting out demons from anything that moved ....... one Sunday morning we were in this small room , maybe 50 of us , and this one guy lead a few others to literally pounce upon this poor innocent guy , they held him and rammed down their open hands upon his head shouting get out Satan ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but have you guessed it , yes , the more this guy struggled and protested .... the more determined were they that he really did have a demon and they would fight it all the way ........ I can laugh now , but I can tell you I was not laughing then ....... the guy was innocent!

I was raised in a solid Southern Presbyterian church in a small farming community in rural NC.

My older sister married at 15 into a family of pentecostal holiness Arminians.

At 7YO I was babysitting one Saturday night for her and her husband, and went to church with them the following morning.

When they started rolling around in the ailses, talking gibberish, shouting in gibberish, shaking spasmodically like a quaking aspen in a gale, casting demons out of doorknobs, clucking like chickens, etc, I knew that was not of God and left the building.
And never went back to that place.

The passage that kept ringing in my ears was, "God is not the author of confusion."

 

[A New Dawn]

I don't think that liking the song disqualifies someone from being a Calvinist. I liked the song the first 1,384,700,219 times I heard it. After that, it just got old.

I guess that's a perk of belonging to a church that didn't believe in altar calls.

 

[cygnusx1]

The passage that kept ringing in my ears was, "God is not the author of confusion."

that is the first time in over 10 years I have heard that scripture quoted , the last time was when I left Charismatics behind ...thanks for the reminder AWC.....

 

[CCWoody]

I guess that's a perk of belonging to a church that didn't believe in altar calls.

The Divine Service of the Holy Altar Call
​

I. The Preface

The Evangelist shall say: “Poor, helpless Jesus has been knocking on the door of your heart for so long, wanting so badly to come in.”

II. The Uncomfortable words

“If you’ve been putting off this decision, remember that you could walk out this door after the service and get hit by a truck”.

III. The Prayer of Consternation

“Oh, Lord Jesus, if there’s anyone in this room who’s never gotten saved by saying the Sinner’s Prayer and inviting You into their heart, vouchsafe to remind them that this could be their only chance.”

IV. The Sursum Handus

“I want every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around. Nobody’s going to see you if you slip up that hand. If you’ve never asked Jesus to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and Saviour, you’re on your way to Hell. So slip up that hand. I see that hand. Yes, I see that hand, too.”

NOTE, that the organist, in the event the Evangelist has not finished his plea by the time she has played sixteen stanzas of “Just As I Am”, shall continue playing something very slowly while he pleads.

V. Benedictus Qui Venit (Blessed Is He That Cometh Down the Aisle)

“If you want Blessed Assurance that you’ll go to Heaven when you die — If you want to be there When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder — you just come forward as we sing the seventeenth and final stanza of “Just As I Am.”

 

[lmnop9876]

The Divine Service of the Holy Altar Call
​

I. The Preface

The Evangelist shall say: “Poor, helpless Jesus has been knocking on the door of your heart for so long, wanting so badly to come in.”

II. The Uncomfortable words

“If you’ve been putting off this decision, remember that you could walk out this door after the service and get hit by a truck”.

III. The Prayer of Consternation

“Oh, Lord Jesus, if there’s anyone in this room who’s never gotten saved by saying the Sinner’s Prayer and inviting You into their heart, vouchsafe to remind them that this could be their only chance.”

IV. The Sursum Handus

“I want every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around. Nobody’s going to see you if you slip up that hand. If you’ve never asked Jesus to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and Saviour, you’re on your way to Hell. So slip up that hand. I see that hand. Yes, I see that hand, too.”

NOTE, that the organist, in the event the Evangelist has not finished his plea by the time she has played sixteen stanzas of “Just As I Am”, shall continue playing something very slowly while he pleads.

V. Benedictus Qui Venit (Blessed Is He That Cometh Down the Aisle)

“If you want Blessed Assurance that you’ll go to Heaven when you die — If you want to be there When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder — you just come forward as we sing the seventeenth and final stanza of “Just As I Am.”

i'd laugh if it wasn't so true.

 

[JimfromOhio]

I didn't vote since I didn't see "Christian".

 

[Jon_]

I didn't vote since I didn't see "Christian".

That would be the "Protestant" option.

Soli Deo Gloria

Jon

 

[drstevej]

IV. The Sursum Handus

“I want every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around. Nobody’s going to see you if you slip up that hand. If you’ve never asked Jesus to come into your heart and be your personal Lord and Saviour, you’re on your way to Hell. So slip up that hand. I see that hand. Yes, I see that hand, too.”

 

[JimfromOhio]

That would be the "Protestant" option.

Soli Deo Gloria

Jon

I know.. but I don't like the word "Protestant" LOL

 

[edie19]

Yeah, but you are Reformed Baptist. My bad, I should have qualified that as "Southern Baptist".

If I've told this story already, I apologize.

A year or so ago at work it was quiet so we were just talking about whatever. Now I never discuss my faith at work, but this particular day I couldn't help myself.

Not sure how the subject came up but one of my co-workers made a negative comment about Baptists - a generalized Baptists are_______ (I don't remember what her point was, probably something about them being bigots or hypocrites - but I digress). I couldn't resist - I just casually mentioned the fact that I'm a Baptist. Her response (direct quote here), "you can't be a Baptist, you drink margaritas!"

The perceptions that people have

edie