So glad you are getting a lot from this support site! Growth is never even and always uphill, it is like success and full of valleys and loops and surprises/troubles. Think of how many times a toddler falls in midst of learning to walk. We are learning to walk this Christian life and as long as we get up again, and try again, we are succeeding. Redemption takes a moment but sanctification takes a life time. Becoming like Jesus takes time and He is patient with us, as we are with little ones. He understands our weakness and yet did not sin so He could become the perfect sacrifice, knowing we can not be perfect, and loving us always! His love is a gift and never has to be earned. <3 The more we rest in that, the better we actually will become because we are doing our work because of love, not to earn it, and we then do all in His strength, not our own. Just love those around you and show mercy and grace to them as Jesus does to you and all will be good in the end. Notice I did not say easy tho, life isn't easy at all, but choosing to follow Christ will make it better. <3 Blessings to you dear!