My relationship with this guy does not glorify God. I knew that from the very beginning. I also knew it because I felt tortured from the very beginning. I think he did, too, so I knew God was not in it. There were other blocks that solidified this. But still, I couldn't give him up, he was too good to be true. I felt like I had been waiting my whole life for him, and I felt confused, yet I knew, it was so wrong also. I never knew before how dangerous falling in love was until I met him. I struggled for months to make sense of it, to understand. I couldn't shake the emotional bond I had with him, until 2 months ago (nearly 1 year later) that I stopped seeing him because I was burned out and I couldn't do it anymore. But I still live with the pain of a broken heart everyday because I miss him, and I still think about him.. I still wonder what it was all about.I'm happy to help.
Remove your feelings and look at the situation practically.
How does a connection with these conditions glorify Him? What is the likely result?
- You encountered him while walking with God. You were not an unbeliever when you met.
- Your feelings for him are carnal. Not platonic.
- You believe he's the answer to your prayer for a companion.
Does this sound like ministry or a relationship? What steps has he taken outside of you to become more acquainted with God?
- He respects your beliefs and expects the same in return.
- He's concerned for your welfare and wants to protect you.
- You care for him and his soul.
I'll contrast what you've shared with my experience.
Our limited proximity and tenure of acquaintance were the primary reasons I assisted him. Distance prevented us from crossing the line. I wasn't in his face or ear. That would be grievous to both.
- We've been acquainted for 15 years.
- We've never dated or been physically intimate. Not even a kiss.
- We don't live in the same place.
- Our conversations were limited to email when I came to faith.
- My church, bible studies, and Christian ministries were praying on our behalf. I kept us on the prayer list every month.
- I read multiple books about spiritual mismatches and connected with Christian leaders ministering to that group to keep me accountable.
- I didn't do this in secret. Every one knew what I was doing.
- I labored for his salvation for 7 years until my service was done.
You aren't ministering to him. You're keeping company with an unbeliever you're falling for. He'll accept your faith if it gives him the spoils he seeks. Every accommodation leads you further from God. The more it progresses the more you'll want him. Be honest with yourself.
You can't go by feelings alone. I engaged with someone recently and the Lord pricked my spirit. He said the connection was too carnal and 'we' were the focus. He wanted greater balance in our discourse. He had me pray for him to hear my heart. Praying opened my eyes and centered me. I saw him in a different light. I was astounded by his beauty.
Surrender him and your desire for companionship to the Lord. He won't lead you astray. He addresses all my prospects. He gives me counsel, encourages prayer, and reminds me of my greatest needs. I get a lot of correction too.
Yours in His Service,
~bella
I think that part of the problem I had was the sudden realization that God never had anyone for me in my life. In Genesis God said that man should not be alone. Many Christians believe in soulmates but yet I have never met mine. Until I met him. It was hard to grasp that I couldn't have him, I'm not old, but I'm older now, and I realize I've never met anyone. I compare myself to you, and I wonder what is wrong with me that I could not experience love? It's true I did want to live single for the Lord, but it was only because I never met anyone. It was easy, but I can truly say that when you meet the right person (or so you think so) it can turn your world upside down.
He didn't take any steps to become acquainted with God during our relationship. He was purely chasing me, although he respected my beliefs. It's possible you are correct when you said "He'll accept your faith if it gives him the spoils he seeks." Although at one point he did say to me that he was closer to believing.
For the guy you prayed for: Do you mean you were his friend for 7 years and ministered to him until he became saved? When you prayed for him how did you see him in a different light and what do you mean he was beautiful? Only what you want to share..
You sound like a very wise and strong woman to have encountered not only great men but men that seemed to love you, and yet you held out. I have never known anyone like you. Today Christians are getting married to non believers like nobody's business, and they don't see anything wrong with it. Many of them are even having sexual relations before marriage. These are the ones I know. Even those that are equally yoked really don't have the discretion and wisdom in their union, that you show. I find you very fascinating.. You must have such a deep faith and love for God and a lot of intergrity.
I plan on praying new prayers to God. I think it's been hard for me to trust Him and what He has done in my life. But I will be obedient and tell Him that I surrender to Him and my desire to have companionship with this guy.
I believe the Rapture of the church is very very near.. Do you believe that we will have eternal companions once we get to Heaven and then the New Heaven and the New Earth ? You are still single, so I am curious to know how you feel about that.
God Bless you! : )
Last edited:
Upvote
0