Having Judgement troubles

[FoundPeace]

A good friend of mine, got me into church and I got saved. I have thanked him a number of times. But now I am beginning to feel quite judged by the same friend. He keeps telling me that I am sinning by watching television shows and that God wouldnt want me doing that, I have told him that if God doesnt want me watching these programs that God needs to tell me. My friend has been getting on my nerves lately. He tells me that it is a sin for me to go deer hunting on a saturday due to the fact that I have to move our bible study from friday night to tuesday night for 1 week. Well this same friend is going on a cruise for a week and a half and is missing church, revival, and bible study. He calls it preachin were I'm livin' But it feels alot like judgement too me.

Someone help me to understand these feelings, because despite the fact that I am ready to choke the daylights out of this guy, I love him like a brother and dearly dont want Satan coming between my friend and myself.

 

[sandman]

You need to sit down and have a heart to heart bro to bro. I can tell you I would react the same way if I were in your shoes. I know statements like “if God doesn’t want me watching these programs that God needs to tell me” are just reaction to what he is saying but what he is saying is not constructive it does not inspire encourage or build a desire to change the program. Telling people what there not suppose to do doesn’t help it just proves to be contentious from a holier than thou, and will most likely drive you to rebel.

Now understand that this guy probably has good intentions, he most likely want s the best for you, he is just going about it the wrong way. The one good thing about this is what you are learning: remember how you feel so you will know how never to be. Condemnation, criticism and legalism are not conducive to growth. Love, kindness, understanding, edification, and exhortation are some of the primary tools to help one grow.

To tell someone how not to walk, does little, to show someone how to walk, speaks volumes; I think Christ proved that. I never point fingers criticize or condemn because I remember where I was at and what God forgave me for. It was the love that lifted me, the encouraging that moved me, and the example that built that desire to learn grow and leave my old ways behind; and truly I was a mess. It is doubtful I would even be here today if I had people pointing out my sins. First of all because they would have dropped over from exhaustion, and secondly because I was looking for a way out, not to get put deeper into my sins and that is exactly what condemnation will do.

What to do – First remember your friend means well, secondly never condemn yourself you can assess and analyze your state, but condemnation is out. Your walk with God is your walk, you must decide how far and how fast you want to go with God that is done through the renewed mind. Putting off the old and putting on the new, believing and acting on what you know… today. “Your thoughts are the seeds for your words and deeds” what you think will be what you speak…. will be how you act, that is why we put on the Word.

It is very easy to point out others mistakes but you know the old saying “point one finger at someone else and you point three back at yourself”. It’s your walk no one can walk for you, you can however encourage one another, help one another, pray for each other, help each other grow…. not by point out faults, but through the love that has been shed abroad in your hearts. You do need to talk and get real honest, if his feelings get hurt so be it, it is better then the feelings you are harboring towards him right now.

BTW deer hunting is a sin……………………..

Just kidding

It can actually be a great time to spend with God while you kill one of his precious creatures… kidding again. Ask God where to set up at, and just spend some quiet time with Him before your bag your 8 pointer.


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God bless

sandman

 

[BlessedVegan]

Well I don't see deer hunting as a good thing at all however I don't think it's unbiblical. And there's no reason you have to have bible study on a particular night. I can see how the guy is annoying but cut him a little slack..he's probably so excited you've become a Christian that he's just trying to help. Maybe tell him you need to learn some things for yourself..if he doesn't get it..find the nicest way you can to tell him to back off. But be gentle, he's probably just trying to help. Good luck and God bless!
CARMEN

 

[BlackPanther]

Perhaps you should talk to him. Ask the Lord to guide you when you do talk to him.

 

[rogsr]

You can always look at it from the perspective that your friend is just trying to advise you the best way he knows how. That doesn't make the advice sound, but sometimes we have to appreciate the sentiment of the action more than the action. Jesus is this way with us, He said, "Blessed are they who do hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Just because you hunger and thirst for something doesn't mean that you will ever necessarily find it, but as long as you are driven to find it then the proper sentiment is present.

Also, though it does sound like your friend may be stuck in a hypocritical mindset, you may consider holding your tounge in pointing out his "sins" in this area. For, as it is written, "love covers all sins," and, "turn the other cheek."

-Peace-

 

[Sketcher]

A good friend of mine, got me into church and I got saved. I have thanked him a number of times. But now I am beginning to feel quite judged by the same friend. He keeps telling me that I am sinning by watching television shows and that God wouldnt want me doing that, I have told him that if God doesnt want me watching these programs that God needs to tell me.

Thing is, God may be using your friend to tell you. The Holy Spirit uses people (Acts 8:26-40 is one of many Biblical examples). Here's a story.

There was a flash flood. The water is rising, and a man is trapped on his roof, praying for God to save him. A little later, another man from his town comes by in a rowboat offering to give him a hand. He says "No thanks, I'm waiting for God to save me." The other man shrugs and rows away. A little later, the waters are getting higher and a police speedboat offers him a rescue, but he gives them the same answer and they leave. A while later, he's up to his head and a rescue helicopter offers him help, and he declines again, because he's waiting for God to save him. The chopper comes back after a while, offering to help him, as he is treading water now. He still refuses, saying he's waiting for God to save him. Finally, the man drowns. When he gets up to Heaven, he asks, "What the heck, Lord? I kept praying for you to save me." The Lord answers, "I heard your prayers, and I sent the rowboat, the speedboat, and that helicopter twice."

My friend has been getting on my nerves lately. He tells me that it is a sin for me to go deer hunting on a saturday due to the fact that I have to move our bible study from friday night to tuesday night for 1 week. Well this same friend is going on a cruise for a week and a half and is missing church, revival, and bible study. He calls it preachin were I'm livin' But it feels alot like judgement too me.

That's more of a problem. Have you told him exactly how you feel about this?

 

[bliz]

Your dear friend is trying to make your life in Christ conform to his life in Christ. He has a very legalistic view of a Christian's life (and many people are quite happy having that view) but he has lost sight of the fact that you need to be conforming your life to Christ and not to him.

A quick read of scripture makes it very clear that people doing exactly what God has called them to do will sometimes be doing vastly different things.

The other thing that is going on is what I call the wounded/healer dichotomy. Many Christians see all Christians as falling into one of these two catoagoies - a wounded person or a healer. That's how your relationship started - he was the healer. And he would like the relationship to continue that way. He would like to continue to be the more knowledgable and and the mentor. The reality is that we are all both wounded and healers. We all have things to teach each other and we all have things to learn. The body of Christ does not rank its members by seniority. Chances are he is in a church that keeps people in their prescribed roles so he is doing what he has seen done.

Be as gentle with him as you can. I fully understand your feelings, but you will also always be in his debt.

 

[vinc]

I'll agree with BlessedVegan's reply although other replies are equally good too for understanding Christian living.

BTW watching TV is not a sin, but, if one is addicted to it too much, he/she could be grieving the Holy Spirit of God in him/her.

And the Great Revivalist and Fiery Preacher Charles Finney had the habit of deer-hunting. When you go for deer-hunting or Bible-study or Prayer is your choice entirely (taken in agreement with your Fellowship Group ofcourse).
Deer-hunting or eating deer meat is not a sin according to the Bible and if it is legal in your country then you are free to do it.


But, your friend might be excessively concerned about your Spiritual Health since he feels responsible to God as he has lead you to Christ. This happens with every Christian who wins another human-being for Christ. He feels responsible and in great love tries to exhort/edify/correct/teach/instruct so that the won soul-for-Christ may grow up to be an extraordinary Christian and in the likeness of Christ. But, even the Christian who has lead another person to Christ is also growing in Christ and may not be a perfect leader/shepherd like Lord Jesus Christ Himself. However, he/she is doing his/her best for Christ.

Its good to bear with his preaching/exhortation so that you don't loose the friendship/fellowship with him. But you may gently and lovingly inform him that you have your way of growing-in-Christ too. This is a delicate situation and needs to be handled with care. Keep this matter in prayer and see what God can do. You may also seek another bro or sis in Christ who also knows him closely so that he/she can convince him regarding the problem your facing with him (if you are not able to deal directly with him anymore).

However, these are just my opinion as an input for you.

Lord Bless You
Vincent

 

[Mr.Cheese]

hmm...he himself may be young as well. God will tell you what he feels he needs to tell you. Your friend isn't God. I understand that he just wants to help you out, but he's overstepping his boundary. Your faith is your own road to walk and it's between you and Jesus. Maybe if you are wondering about something you can ask him.
This situation may be something God has contrived to teach him a lesson.

This didn't come out very well.

 

[issa]

pray about it, brother, that you may hear what God wants you to know. and that your friend will find a way to release his frustration.

see, im in the same situation as your friend. i have a brother who is totally into dragons and magic cards and it really makes me feel bad coz there is a possibility that the enemy has a hold on him/influences him thru these things. now i dont want to strain my relationship with my brother but being around while he is so involved in things that i personally believe will not be good for him is really hard.

i try to talk to him about it but reason and desire are 2 different things. he himself is not convinced enough to let go of these. i do not judge my brother but it makes me feel really bad. but im not ready to destroy my relationship with my bro over that so i do not push too much. at least i try not to, but im only human.

now i know what a parent feels like. when your kid has his own mind and begins to make his own decisions and there is nothing you can do about it...

then again, parents arent perfect and also make their own mistakes, so sometimes it is good for the child to remind the parent about stuff. it is not a one way thing. you can talk to your friend about how you feel. how it isnt fair that he is setting standards for you that he cannot follow himself. i ask my brothers to help me too by watching out for me if i overdo stuff. that is what is good about fellowship, we help each other grow instead of tearing each other down.

pray to God, listen to Him, talk with your friend,
expect great things from our great God, pray for a miracle.

and if you have a little more time, please pray for me too. thanks FoundPeace!