Hello! I'm a Christian now. But I have a lot of difficulties. Some days I don't feel like a Christian but God won't let me go.
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I often don’t
feel like a Christian, often don’t
feel repentent of my sins, often fail to meet the mark. All I can do is pray:
« Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner »
and
« I have no sincere repentance, I have no true compunction, I have no consoling tears to lead me as a child of God to my spiritual inheritance. My mind has been darkened through worldly passions. I cannot look up to You in grieving remorse. I cannot warm myself with tears of love for You. But, Lord Jesus Christ, the treasury of blessings, grant me thorough repentance and a diligent heart to seek You. Grant me Your grace and renew in me the form of Your image. I have forsaken You; but, Lord, do not forsake me. Come out to seek me; lead me to Your pasture; number me among the sheep of Your chosen flock and nourish me with the food of Your sacred mysteries. »
(Excerpt From My Orthodox Prayer Book, Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America,
My Orthodox Prayer Book
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And then I trust in God’s goodness, love and mercy that He will heal my soul and lead me on the right path.