Haven't heard from boyfriend

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

I was wondering about this, especially from male points of view...I haven't heard from my boyfriend since Thursday. That day we blew up each other's phones with texts, which is unusual for us. We text some, but not a ton. Also, we talk on the phone each night, but we haven't talked since Wed. night. I'm thinking he is just needing space, so I'm not bothering him right now. What are your opinions?

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

Hard to say without knowing the situation or people. I would just send a text saying "Hi, what's up?"

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Hard to say without knowing the situation or people. I would just send a text saying "Hi, what's up?"

Yeah...well, he was hoping I'd be able to drive up this weekend, so he sent me a message Thurs night about that. I told him I couldn't. My car's been giving me trouble, and no garage or person can tell me anything, so my uncle will be looking at it today or tomorrow. Boyfriend has been aware of my car problem. After I texted him back about this, I heard nothing. Thought he was mad/disappointed perhaps.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Sometimes we can become for lack of better words paranoid. Especially after a small disagreement. Being a LDR at first I found myself paranoid at times. "Why hasn't she left me a message in a day?"...later I'd think "Ok its been a day and a half, does she really love me?". Even later it was "Its been 2 days, I wish would pay more attention to me!".

And after that thoughts of is they are ok...etc go through your head. Turns out the power there goes out every other day for days at a time. Granted shes in another country. But still the point remains sometimes we just have to try and be patient. Anything could have happened last minute and he likely just can't reply right now. Maybe his phone broke. Never know.

As you said though, if he is mad give him space. Bugging him mad just makes someone madder. Well for most at least. I'm sure you will here from him before Monday.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Yeah, I guess I'll just give him until tonight or tomorrow. This is real strange, but I'm sure there's a valid reason since it's never happened before.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Yeah...well, he was hoping I'd be able to drive up this weekend, so he sent me a message Thurs night about that. I told him I couldn't. My car's been giving me trouble, and no garage or person can tell me anything, so my uncle will be looking at it today or tomorrow. Boyfriend has been aware of my car problem. After I texted him back about this, I heard nothing. Thought he was mad/disappointed perhaps.

Well, maybe he is paranoid and insecure about you not coming up there. In which case, not contacting him may not have helped...

You really won't know unless you actually attempt to communicate instead of assuming things.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Well, maybe he is paranoid and insecure about you not coming up there. In which case, not contacting him may not have helped...

You really won't know unless you actually attempt to communicate instead of assuming things.

You're right. A day, or two, without communication is almost understandable. Going on three days...well maybe I haven't had the correct attitude. I was thinking perhaps he was sad or mad, or even testing me.

I actually texted him yesterday evening but got no reply.

Anyway, I'll figure it out.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Are you worried at all that something may have happened to him?

If he is just doing this because he is mad or whatever, then he is being VERY immature.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Are you worried at all that something may have happened to him?

If he is just doing this because he is mad or whatever, then he is being VERY immature.

A little worried he could be sick. I can see he's been active on Facebook each day though. If something were truly wrong, I'd hear from his family.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Sounds like he is just being immature, then.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Sounds like he is just being immature, then.

Guess that might be the case. It is very unfortunate if so, something I'd not really expect from him. We'll see! Wonder if it's best I just let things ride for another day or so?

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yeah if hes being this weird about it then that is immature. Its like doing the silent treatment when your 5 years old. Assuming that is the case I pray he outgrows that. Silent treatment is not a good thing in a relationship. Not for days on end at least.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Yeah if hes being this weird about it then that is immature. Its like doing the silent treatment when your 5 years old. Assuming that is the case I pray he outgrows that. Silent treatment is not a good thing in a relationship. Not for days on end at least.

He's the same age as you, xfreakazoidx, for cryin out loud. It's highly immature and unattractive. I've never experienced anything like this before.

What I'm not sure about is whether to call him, or not. I texted him yesterday and decided to send a short email today. I can tell he read the email (by a notification). I feel as if the ball is in his court now.

We had a big talk last weekend and actually brought up the possibility of breaking up because we argue and don't seem to mesh too well. I've been wondering if that has anything to do with this.

 

[LinkH]

Maybe he had a sudden project he had to do at work, then a social engagement, then something to do with his family, and he's been too busy for text or email. Is genuinely being a busy a possibility? If you had an argument, he might not know how to start the email, and may therefore make it a lower priority than other activities.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

The only thing in what you listed, Link, that's a probability is some sort of social engagement. We didn't have an argument of any sort last week.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

We had a big talk last weekend and actually brought up the possibility of breaking up because we argue and don't seem to mesh too well. I've been wondering if that has anything to do with this.

It may. This is just my opinion mind you but if thinking about breaking up comes into the picture then you probably should and avoid the pain of doing it later. Now, once your engaged and that subject comes up, then I feel as though if they are willing to break up at that stage then I wouldn't trust them in marriage.

Overall he sounds like hes still immature a bit. I think God has someone better out there for you. Fighting now just means fighting later in marriage. Granted no marriage avoids fighting, but if you do it already, then it will just get worse in marriage.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

It may. This is just my opinion mind you but if thinking about breaking up comes into the picture then you probably should and avoid the pain of doing it later. Now, once your engaged and that subject comes up, then I feel as though if they are willing to break up at that stage then I wouldn't trust them in marriage.

Overall he sounds like hes still immature a bit. I think God has someone better out there for you. Fighting now just means fighting later in marriage. Granted no marriage avoids fighting, but if you do it already, then it will just get worse in marriage.

Thank you I think He does, too. I know what I'm gonna do; got a plan! I'm going to do the breaking up, but with the distance, it's gonna be a bit tricky. I pray my plan works out though.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yeah its safer to do it at a distance. I'll be praying for you.

 

[quitespirit]

If you haven't heard from him in two days, have you called him at all?

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

If you haven't heard from him in two days, have you called him at all?

Nope. I felt as if text and email were sufficient enough.

It's now been 4 days. I received an email this afternoon. "I am fine. I am not very happy." I told him that was no excuse to shut me out for so long.

I know I sound harsh, but I refuse to be placed so low on the priority list (this has been going on for a loonnng time, and talking doesn't help).