Have you experienced this?

[Handmaid for Jesus]

People who want to be seen as nice, but, they are overbearing and manipulative. Back stabbing you while pretending they are for you or even your friend.I have experienced this a lot in my life. Have any of you all experienced something like this. How did you handle it?

 

[thecolorsblend]

Depends upon the setting. If you're talking about the workplace, it can be dicey. Making enemies of the wrong person can be risky. Sometimes there isn't a way to win. Or at least the way to win is to resign before you can get fired (with cause).

People have experienced it in their faith lives too, sadly enough. I lost a political battle in an evangelical ecclesial community ages ago. This was long before I even thought about crossing the Tiber.

Anyway, I gamed it out and realized that as long as four specific people remained in my column, I'd be okay. Not great but okay. And indeed I was. I kept all four of them on my side. For a while anyway. But then I lost one of them. I then lost the political battle within a few weeks after that.

Things got so scorched earth that I had no real choice but to leave and find greener pastures elsewhere. It sucked and was very hurtful.

But I think I landed where I was supposed to. Somebody else intended harm but God brought something good out of it. So all hard feelings aside, things turned out okay.

It's never very much fun when others harm us. But it's worth remembering that the best we can do is damage control. We can try and limit how bad things get but that's about it.

But God can bring affirmative good even from objective bad, and that's where we should draw comfort.

 

[SpiritSong]

I've been accused of being a back stabber, but the person who I complained about, I did so to a superior. I'd had enough of his teasing me, picking on me, embarrassing me, and in general being a real nasty person. Complaining did no good either, as the superior turned against me for awhile. Now things are at a stalemate of sorts. I don't speak to the person and he does not speak to me. Sometimes you can't win in these kinds of situations, but sometimes you don't entirely lose either. Bless you in this and I hope things get better. Praying....

 

[dysert]

I've been stabbed in the back, both professionally (including being fired *without cause*) and personally. It usually hurts - especially if you had no inkling it was coming. For better or worse I've usually just blown it off and chalked it up to someone being a big jerk. I'd then try to forget about it over time and simply move on. ("Move on" would mean something like switching jobs, switching churches, or just not dealing with the jerk anymore.)

 

[dreadnought]

People who want to be seen as nice, but, they are overbearing and manipulative. Back stabbing you while pretending they are for you or even your friend.I have experienced this a lot in my life. Have any of you all experienced something like this. How did you handle it?

I wouldn't want to have a lot to do with such people.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

I wouldn't want to have a lot to do with such people.

Yeah, that is what I usually do too.

 

[Dave Watchman]

People who want to be seen as nice, but, they are overbearing and manipulative. Back stabbing you while pretending they are for you or even your friend.I have experienced this a lot in my life. Have any of you all experienced something like this. How did you handle it?

I never had anything like that, that i know of.

So i wouldn't know how to handle it.

Maybe i'm on the other team, the backstabber team?

But i never pretend, to be a friend.

Is it a man/woman thing?

Is it a guy pretending to be nice to get your money or house?

Want me to come down there and punch him in the neck?

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

Is it a man/woman thing?

Is it a guy pretending to be nice to get your money or house?

Want me to come down there and punch him in the neck?

LOL! No need for violence brother.

It is a girl thing and I just feed her out of a shovel.And it is just trying to manipulate me like I am some child.

 

[salt-n-light]

People who want to be seen as nice, but, they are overbearing and manipulative. Back stabbing you while pretending they are for you or even your friend.I have experienced this a lot in my life. Have any of you all experienced something like this. How did you handle it?

I probably use to be (or tend to be one). I was overbearing by being needy and insensitive to people's time, and manipulative by being passive agressive about things I could have talked more about. So whenever I see that in someone else, I identify with it.

I give grace first and forgive them in advance because I too have those moments and times that I am not pleasant to be around. I also pray for them and for myself, that God will get glory in our encounters, even unpleasant ones. And I learn to not to be afraid to address it at its core. While I've been passive aggressive, I received more when I see the person is not giving in to their emotions like I was. So I try to not give in to the wave of emotions or actions while the person is hot in theirs, and recall 2 Timothy 4:2. Sometimes that means cutting it short, and sometimes that means reasoning with them.

But it helps to remember that this is a fallen world, no one walks in this life untouched by evil. And sometimes you are that evil. That's means that you will never be alone in such struggles. There's a testimony in everything, there's a message of hope in everything, whether good or bad, and we have to trust in God's Word when God said that all things work together for those that love and serve Him. Don't fear evil, overcome evil with good.

 

[Dave Watchman]

It is a girl thing and I just feed her out of a shovel. And it is just trying to manipulate me like I am some child.

Then i bet you'll be fine then, if it's just a girl thing.

I just never really trust anyone in the first place. Only my Mom. And my dog. And my cats. The animals hardly ever tell a lie.

If you keep your expectations low, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Let God be true,
And i am a liar.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

Then i bet you'll be fine then, if it's just a girl thing.

I just never really trust anyone in the first place. Only my Mom. And my dog. And my cats. The animals hardly ever tell a lie.

If you keep your expectations low, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Let God be true,
And i am a liar.

I hear you brother.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

But it helps to remember that this is a fallen world, no one walks in this life untouched by evil. And sometimes you are that evil. That's means that you will never be alone in such struggles. There's a testimony in everything, there's a message of hope in everything, whether good or bad, and we have to trust in God's Word when God said that all things work together for those that love and serve Him. Don't fear evil, overcome evil with good.

Thank you. I do my best to keep things moving, mostly by avoiding. I do pray for her that our Father delivers her from her manipulative ways.I don't think she knows she needs to let other adults be themselves and have their own opinions.

 

[creslaw]

I usually try to avoid people like that but I remember my pastor telling us that it is easy to love those who love us (actually he told us that Jesus said that in Luke 6:32-33) so if someone is mean to us then God is probably saying we need a bit more practice.