Maid Marie
Zechariah 4:6
I've noticed that elsewhere on CF - about 2 weeks of posts are gone.
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I've noticed that elsewhere on CF - about 2 weeks of posts are gone.
Chococat
I love Jesus and kittycats
Yes I was bullied at school and by some "friends" as a kid. It was not physical abuse rather emotional and verbal abuse. I also had a nasty bullying boss when I was 19/20 who made my life a misery? I have also just come out of an abusive "friendship" with someone who seemed a lovely person at first only to turn on me and start emotionally abusing me often in very subtle ways by playing on my weaknesses and past hurts
Thankfully it stopped when I left school and lost contact with the bullies or in one case the bullies just got fed up with it. As for the bullying boss in the end he fired me by falsely accusing me of messing up my work. I think it was a set up but it was a relief to be out of there so it was a blessing in disguise. As for the bullying "friend" I have cut myself off from her completely though I am still hurting because I really thought this person was my friend.
I think bullies are people with very low self esteem who build themselves up by putting others down. Some of them also could be, I suspect, under the influence of demons which I suspect is the case with the exfriend I have mentioned above.
IMO while we should forgive the bully and pray for him/her etc that does not mean we should put up with abuse. We should stand up for ourselves, including, if need be reporting the abuse to the police (if it is physical or sexual). If the bully is unwilling to repent then we should cut ourselves off from them completely as we can forgive a person without being a doormat unless of course we are being persecuted for our faith and the only way of escape is to renounce Christ.
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From third grade on to graduation I was unmercifully bullied and picked on. It went from little grade school things like coming up behind me and flipping my skirt, to sticking gum in my hair, to being told, "I'm having a party and you're invited...KIDDING!!!" to being thrown into lockers, name-calling, public humiliation, being hit, punched, kicked, having my stuff taken, to receiving death threat calls at my house. My brother was a black belt and offered to teach me; my mother forbid it: "girls don't fight". My own cousin, when we started high school together, told me that, if I saw him with his friends, NOT to say "hi".
I was such a wretched case that one girl "befriended" me, and told other kids, "I like her because, next to her, I don't feel so pathetic," and I took that as a COMPLIMENT!!!
Thankfully both of my daughters, at ages 5 and 7, already have better coping skills than I did.
When she was in 1st grade, just a few months ago, my older daughter was walking down the school hallway, holding hands with her friend (they both needed to go somewhere). Some big 4th grade boys came up behind them and started picking on them, calling them "slow" and "pokey" and teasing them. My daughter's friend was scared; My daughter just tried to ignore them. Finally she had enough. She stopped, turned around, and in an authoritative voice said, "STOP!" with a flip of her wrist making the "stop" sign with her hand. She then saw a 4th grade girl she knew and asked her if she could walk the rest of the way with them. The other kids now know that a) she doesn't scare easily, or intimidate, and b) she "knows people".
Man, I wish I had had her confidence when I was in school.
I was such a wretched case that one girl "befriended" me, and told other kids, "I like her because, next to her, I don't feel so pathetic," and I took that as a COMPLIMENT!!!
Thankfully both of my daughters, at ages 5 and 7, already have better coping skills than I did.
When she was in 1st grade, just a few months ago, my older daughter was walking down the school hallway, holding hands with her friend (they both needed to go somewhere). Some big 4th grade boys came up behind them and started picking on them, calling them "slow" and "pokey" and teasing them. My daughter's friend was scared; My daughter just tried to ignore them. Finally she had enough. She stopped, turned around, and in an authoritative voice said, "STOP!" with a flip of her wrist making the "stop" sign with her hand. She then saw a 4th grade girl she knew and asked her if she could walk the rest of the way with them. The other kids now know that a) she doesn't scare easily, or intimidate, and b) she "knows people".
Man, I wish I had had her confidence when I was in school.
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The other day, my 5 year old boy was outside playing with his sister and a couple local girls, ranging fro 8 to 10 years old.
One of the girls, about twice his size, kept picking him up and shaking him around like a ragdoll. He must have told her at least 3 or 4 times to stop doing that but she wouldn't. Finally, he stepped up to her and landed a solid blow to her mouth, sending her home crying.
Of course I had to punish him for hitting her, but boy was I proud he did that. I had no desire to interfere with what was going on with them as he starts school this month and I wanted to see what his reaction to being picked on was.
He tried several times to get her to stop, and only resorted to hitting her when she persisted, and that was only a single blow and not some enraged attack, which showed both patience and self-control on his part.
I was happy with the outcome, and they were playing with each other again later, except without the ragdoll play.
One of the girls, about twice his size, kept picking him up and shaking him around like a ragdoll. He must have told her at least 3 or 4 times to stop doing that but she wouldn't. Finally, he stepped up to her and landed a solid blow to her mouth, sending her home crying.
Of course I had to punish him for hitting her, but boy was I proud he did that. I had no desire to interfere with what was going on with them as he starts school this month and I wanted to see what his reaction to being picked on was.
He tried several times to get her to stop, and only resorted to hitting her when she persisted, and that was only a single blow and not some enraged attack, which showed both patience and self-control on his part.
I was happy with the outcome, and they were playing with each other again later, except without the ragdoll play.
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C
covefromoz
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I kind of bullied bullies in school. I didn't like getting picked on, and this was before I met Jesus of course but a lot of the kids would make fun of the gay students and the nerdy students and so on. And so I would beat up the people making fun of them.
I think essentially I just got so angry that someone was picking on these guys and girls for something they really can't do anything about, and it was hard enough just BEING a nerd for them or whatever...so to add to that by having someone pick on them? I don't know, that just infuriated me.
Now-a-days I try not to physically fight people who bully other people. It's better to educate and call out the behaviour for what it is, just an extension of hatred and bigotry and reflection of low self-esteem. When that behaviour is changed and challenged then bullying usually fizzles out.
I think essentially I just got so angry that someone was picking on these guys and girls for something they really can't do anything about, and it was hard enough just BEING a nerd for them or whatever...so to add to that by having someone pick on them? I don't know, that just infuriated me.
Now-a-days I try not to physically fight people who bully other people. It's better to educate and call out the behaviour for what it is, just an extension of hatred and bigotry and reflection of low self-esteem. When that behaviour is changed and challenged then bullying usually fizzles out.
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luchsgud
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Yes, I was bullied at school, by student and teacher alike. In primary it nearly crushed me [nervous breakdown at the age of 8]. In my case violent retaliation didn't help because authority figures were involved. At the age of 13 I ran away from home, but after that I learned to react with cynicism and sarcasm, which seemed to help [cos they thot I was funny], but that became a problem as I found I could bully just as well using cutting words [not good].
I don't know if it was resolved, if I simply outgrew it, or if its still a problem. At least for the moment I'm not getting spat on, kicked, and punched for insisting that I believe in Jesus, though I do avoid those places people are likely to do this.
I don't know if it was resolved, if I simply outgrew it, or if its still a problem. At least for the moment I'm not getting spat on, kicked, and punched for insisting that I believe in Jesus, though I do avoid those places people are likely to do this.
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GoldenKingGaze
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I was bullied at school, having a nurturing home got me through, I repented, did yr 12 again, then was bullied and turned the other cheek, which I regret, it did nothing much, I think I should have used wisdom and strategy. Asked the teachers for help and seen a lawyer.
MORE THE RELEVANT though, I was bullied at what is now Sydney Hillsong. At first a friend and lifts man, then disagreements. I was at a meeting in which a word was given by Rodney Howard Brown about an anointing being given to one. We had visited C3, 1998. On the way home, he said it was given to everyone there.
He prophesied to me, towards my success of being born again, weeks later.
As time went on I was belittled, grumbled at, with a bit of anger, foul language, words of were there for a ps's kids... wits, humiliating silence, threats, and overly long drives home with insistance of eating junk food.
After prayer on Sunday nights, foul language. It hurt my heart. Solomon wrote, slanders go down like tasty morsels, and bruise the heart.
It was getting very bad after months. I was getting more ill than ever. It was my desire to attend church a lot. And to tell him I was not going, was hard, there was wit in his words, and I had trouble pushing over the pain level. I was aware I was on the path of commiting the eternal sin, for prayer services were for the anointing...
The prayer ministers noticed the pain on my face.
I stood at church in surrender, and a brother said to me, "you are free." But the trip home was another spoiler. Although I began to manifest meekness.
At another church I attended, Ps Verlie prophesied that sometimes we need to go beyond prayer and cry out to God. I at home alone, prayed to God about committing the eternal sin being unacceptable. And cried out to God to deliver me from the person destroying my peace and honour of the Holy Spirit. The slanderer.
Some days later he phoned to tell me his car was written off, he was shaken but fine. So I was delivered and never traveled with him again.
This man was aggressive, witting, tried to make it look like others were with him, smiled at my father so my father would not accept he had bad in him.
He kissed my face, and had his own rarteousness. That he said was different from justice. It was his car so I tried to be polite. If I thought I offended him I apologised, he insisted I didn't need to. He never apologised. He had some psychopathic symptoms.
He was a little generous. Was quiet with others, seemed to talk with the others going through what he did, drug use.
He disliked a drug dealer he identified who came to church.
He hated the worship, silent.
It seemed to trigger him off when I did not flatter him, said frankly, I thought he had a problem with folly and ignorance. He got prayer and was really happy, but maybe I said something, from there he got grumbley.
I still have nightmares, but have managed to release him a bit sometimes. I have trouble not recalling and being angry.
Angry with my fate with meekness, I rebelled and rejected it. I have not regained any manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit for 13 years.
My heart is still bruised, my progress and progress back to the way I was is slower than ever.
MORE THE RELEVANT though, I was bullied at what is now Sydney Hillsong. At first a friend and lifts man, then disagreements. I was at a meeting in which a word was given by Rodney Howard Brown about an anointing being given to one. We had visited C3, 1998. On the way home, he said it was given to everyone there.
He prophesied to me, towards my success of being born again, weeks later.
As time went on I was belittled, grumbled at, with a bit of anger, foul language, words of were there for a ps's kids... wits, humiliating silence, threats, and overly long drives home with insistance of eating junk food.
After prayer on Sunday nights, foul language. It hurt my heart. Solomon wrote, slanders go down like tasty morsels, and bruise the heart.
It was getting very bad after months. I was getting more ill than ever. It was my desire to attend church a lot. And to tell him I was not going, was hard, there was wit in his words, and I had trouble pushing over the pain level. I was aware I was on the path of commiting the eternal sin, for prayer services were for the anointing...
The prayer ministers noticed the pain on my face.
I stood at church in surrender, and a brother said to me, "you are free." But the trip home was another spoiler. Although I began to manifest meekness.
At another church I attended, Ps Verlie prophesied that sometimes we need to go beyond prayer and cry out to God. I at home alone, prayed to God about committing the eternal sin being unacceptable. And cried out to God to deliver me from the person destroying my peace and honour of the Holy Spirit. The slanderer.
Some days later he phoned to tell me his car was written off, he was shaken but fine. So I was delivered and never traveled with him again.
This man was aggressive, witting, tried to make it look like others were with him, smiled at my father so my father would not accept he had bad in him.
He kissed my face, and had his own rarteousness. That he said was different from justice. It was his car so I tried to be polite. If I thought I offended him I apologised, he insisted I didn't need to. He never apologised. He had some psychopathic symptoms.
He was a little generous. Was quiet with others, seemed to talk with the others going through what he did, drug use.
He disliked a drug dealer he identified who came to church.
He hated the worship, silent.
It seemed to trigger him off when I did not flatter him, said frankly, I thought he had a problem with folly and ignorance. He got prayer and was really happy, but maybe I said something, from there he got grumbley.
I still have nightmares, but have managed to release him a bit sometimes. I have trouble not recalling and being angry.
Angry with my fate with meekness, I rebelled and rejected it. I have not regained any manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit for 13 years.
My heart is still bruised, my progress and progress back to the way I was is slower than ever.
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bithiah2
Jah is my strength and song!
i grew up being bullied because of my accent and my homemade clothing. because of this i became a very angry young woman.
after i was born again, it took years to get all of that anger out of me.
recently,at the church i was attending, the pastor's daughter who is the church administrator decided to start a verbal confrontation with me right before i danced with the dance ministry. for some reason she does not like me, and i don't know why. i think it's because i don't see her as the goddess she believes that she is, because we don't know one another. anyway, when she began launching into her verbal abuse, i stopped her. and i very quietly said "[name], i will not be bullied by you. i'm not going to go there. and i'm walking away from you, now." she said "OK" and promptly went and told the dance ministry leader to suspend me from the team...which they did.:o
i walked away the mininstry and the church. as much as i loved what i was doing, i was not going to allow anyone to verbally abuse me.
now i know that some will say that i should have stayed there and worked it out with her. but...since she is the pastor's daughter and has a history of bullying people away from the church who don't bow down to her, what good would it do? if a church condones sin, which that is, why stay there?
my point is, i studied what turning the other cheek is, and it is, really responding to a situation like this one, with quiet grace and dignity. don't do what they do. if i had stooped to her level, i would have been wrong in God's eyes. because i spoke up, man didn't support me but i believe that God will vindicate me...and hold her accountable for the way she treated me.
and one day, if she doesn't repent, somebody who is not so sanctified will go medieval on her and we will hear about the bully being bullied on the 10 o' clock news.
after i was born again, it took years to get all of that anger out of me.
recently,at the church i was attending, the pastor's daughter who is the church administrator decided to start a verbal confrontation with me right before i danced with the dance ministry. for some reason she does not like me, and i don't know why. i think it's because i don't see her as the goddess she believes that she is, because we don't know one another. anyway, when she began launching into her verbal abuse, i stopped her. and i very quietly said "[name], i will not be bullied by you. i'm not going to go there. and i'm walking away from you, now." she said "OK" and promptly went and told the dance ministry leader to suspend me from the team...which they did.:o
i walked away the mininstry and the church. as much as i loved what i was doing, i was not going to allow anyone to verbally abuse me.
now i know that some will say that i should have stayed there and worked it out with her. but...since she is the pastor's daughter and has a history of bullying people away from the church who don't bow down to her, what good would it do? if a church condones sin, which that is, why stay there?
my point is, i studied what turning the other cheek is, and it is, really responding to a situation like this one, with quiet grace and dignity. don't do what they do. if i had stooped to her level, i would have been wrong in God's eyes. because i spoke up, man didn't support me but i believe that God will vindicate me...and hold her accountable for the way she treated me.
and one day, if she doesn't repent, somebody who is not so sanctified will go medieval on her and we will hear about the bully being bullied on the 10 o' clock news.
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Tenebrae
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Yes, when I was on my medical placement, one of the nurses decided she took exception to me, and accused me of leaving the patient in a urine soaked bed. Among other things she told me she didnt think I had what it took to be a registered nutse
I addressed this with my tutors, and was made to write my notes including all the care I had done for that particular patient.
I think bullies are people who are very insecure. People who are secure in themselves, and who they are as people dont need to inflict horizontal violence on other people
This woman was a complete cow and when she told me she didnt think I had what it took to be a registered nurse, it took all the self control I had not to say "if being a nurse means being mean nasty and vindictive like you, then you are quite right, I dont have what it takes". I was able to walk away from this situation knowing I had been professional and appropriate.
It was an awesome learning curb. I learnt when people have constructive feedback, designed to help us grow as people, its always very specific.
when people are coming from the bully angle, their feedback is alway very vague and unhelpful. When I asked this nurse, what she thought I could do to improve, shes like "just the basics". The nursing basics are huge, and she couldnt tell me more than just reading up on the basics.
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Let me cover 'turning the other cheek' first. IMO this is misrepresented. To be slapped in the face in Yeshua's day was to be accused of being in error. To turn the other cheek was to stand your ground in defiance of their attack and not back down from your position. Turning the other cheek does not imply letting anyone walk all over you. The time Yeshua was slapped was when he was before the High Priest. He did not back down and admit error.
Now onto the subject of bullies.
Mark 10:42 But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
Just realize that those that seek rulership over you will be the least in the kingdom! Manipulation, control and domination are the ways of the enemy. It is rooted in witchcraft. Rebellion is rejecting legitimate authority over you while witchcraft is usurping invalid authority. A wife usurping control over a husband is an example of this. Pastors that rule verses lead is an example of this.
Eze 34 is a good example of 'false shepards' that bully the flock as well as the 'fat sheep' and he-goats that cause problems.
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S
salamacum
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I'm debating two things here:
1) whether to give a testimony of Christian leadership when truly tested and found wanting.
2) whether to start a thread on people's experience of being bullied on these forums.
What do you think?
1) whether to give a testimony of Christian leadership when truly tested and found wanting.
2) whether to start a thread on people's experience of being bullied on these forums.
What do you think?
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G
GodismySalvation
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I started a new job years ago. One of my co-workers was constantly raising her voice and criticizing everything I did. She was almost hissing at me. I prayed for a few days until the Lord gave me the right words to say to her. The next time she raised her voice to me I said very slowly and and firmly with a volume that matched hers "If you want to speak to me you'll have to speak nicely to me." She was so embarrassed that she turned red and ran out of the room. She never again attacked me to my face.
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Bob Carabbio
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Nope - since I'm 6'3" and over 250#, and have always been "Large", I'm not the ideal target. I remember once when there was some possible "hostilities" I told 'em that I "Simply LOVED to be beaten by strong men", and they just went away - go figure.
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I can't believe this thread still exists. I think it's bullying other threads to maintain it's existence.
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