Have I ruined things with my boyfriend?

[bèlla]

I understand. I too dislike small talk because it seems trivial to me. Yeah I understand small talk has it’s place but I can’t be friends with someone and settle for just small talk. It begins to make me uncomfortable. I like meaningful discussions and I enjoy people that can do that.

Small talk is appropriate for polite society. Intimate discourse was originally restricted to family and close friends. People didn’t discuss their private lives with strangers.

 

[Christ is Lord]

People didn’t discuss their private lives with strangers.

Yeah they do. Look at these forums

 

[Christ is Lord]

Yeah they do. Look at these forums

Oops. I noticed you said didn’t instead of don’t.

 

[bèlla]

Oops. I noticed you said didn’t instead of don’t.

No worries.

Many lack the community and social network that was commonplace in the past. Modern conveniences reduced the necessity of conversing face-to-face. Now its whittled down to text and social media updates.

If you are lacking companions to share thoughts and concerns, you’ll seek them in other places.

 

[Christ is Lord]

No worries.

Many lack the community and social network that was commonplace in the past. Modern conveniences reduced the necessity of conversing face-to-face. Now its whittled down to text and social media updates.

If you are lacking companions to share thoughts and concerns, you’ll seek them in other places.

It’s a sad reality for some indeed. We’re slowing moving into a place in which people are more connected than any point in human history (instant text messages) but more disconnected than any point in human history. I’ve seen the same thing happening my life own life and it’s very scary for me. For example, as I’ve stated I’m not used to having small talk with people that are friends; it seems alien to me but more and more I see that people are okay with it.

 

[timewerx]

I understand. I too dislike small talk because it seems trivial to me. Yeah I understand small talk has it’s place but I can’t be friends with someone and settle for just small talk. It begins to make me uncomfortable. I like meaningful discussions and I enjoy people that can do that.

I'm actually curious about making small talk.

I tend to have few common interests with other people. Even with friends so small talk is the only thing to avoid awkward silent moments. I try but I'm almost machine-like at it and respond in the simplest, most-direct answer which often doesn't require further response and run out of things to talk about.

Hard to remember putting some art to the talk. I have poor memory.

 

[coffee4u]

I will definitely look out for more signs of that. Is there anything I can do to prevent this though? Perhaps just reassure him that I do enjoy his company and I only want to be with him.

Thanks for all your answers! I do need to stop overthinking but it’s easier said than done!

It's not up to you to prevent his jelously. That's dangerous thinking. You are responsible for your emotions and he is responsible for his. If he ever suggests you caused him to feel X when you were simply being normal, take that as a red flag. That is a tactic used by manipulative people. It can be prevented by him being responsible for himself.
Another sign of a healthy relationship is if you are being honest, that he believes you. Questioning your motives after reassurance is also a sign of someone who is manipulative.
I would be very careful about dating this man. Do your friends and family like him? Does he encourage you in what you want to do? Does he make sly criticisms? These are signs to look for early in a relationship before deep feelings develop because you do not want to get in deep with anyone who requires attention to feel validated, who 'punishes' you by withholding emotions, (in this case it could be withholding a regular text) or who questions your honesty. Please think over what I said. I see some red flags.

 

[timewerx]

It's not up to you to prevent his jelously. That's dangerous thinking. You are responsible for your emotions and he is responsible for his. If he ever suggests you caused him to feel X when you were simply being normal, take that as a red flag. That is a tactic used by manipulative people.

It's too bad, the OP seemed to have stopped reading after a few posts.