Hating someone?

[nhisname]

Thanks Aisy,

There isn't one clear thing or trigger. It's his mannerisms, they way he speaks, what he speaks about... basically his entire personality.

Getting back to the hate thing I speak as a Christian and we are not suppose to hate. It serves no purpose for us and frankly it takes too much energy. He just gets on your nerves more or less.

 

[nhisname]

How so? I've never met a person and instantly knew what faith they were simply by their presence, without some sort of outward sign. I mean, if I meet a person with a cross necklace, they are usually Christian, if I meet a person with a kippah, I assume they are Jewish. Other than those kinds of things, I've never felt a "Christian vibe" or anything like that.

I keep a Bible at my desk at all times and if I'm reading it sometimes I get strange looks. Maybe this guy has mentioned church or brings his Bible to read at lunch...just a thought.

 

[b&wpac4]

I keep a Bible at my desk at all times and if I'm reading it sometimes I get strange looks. Maybe this guy has mentioned church or brings his Bible to read at lunch...just a thought.

I'm reading "Living a Jewish Life" at work and I get strange looks too.

 

[MountainCappuccino]

I keep a Bible at my desk at all times and if I'm reading it sometimes I get strange looks. Maybe this guy has mentioned church or brings his Bible to read at lunch...just a thought.

OP might have mentioned it if it annoyed him; but here's the thing - he posts on a Christian forum, so I don't think it's the spiritual aspect which annoys him.

 

[Tower Crane Driver]

No, this person has never mentioned religion.

I have met religious people at work before, of many faiths, and I usually engage them in friendly discussion on the subject.


This isn't racism or bigotry or homophobia or religious intolerance or any such pointless hatred based on fear.

It's more... His entire personality just really hacks me off... to the point that I actively avoid him. It's not because he's a bad person or a mean person or even a dull person...

Maybe I am just a bit nuts?

 

[b&wpac4]

No, this person has never mentioned religion.

I have met religious people at work before, of many faiths, and I usually engage them in friendly discussion on the subject.


This isn't racism or bigotry or homophobia or religious intolerance or any such pointless hatred based on fear.

It's more... His entire personality just really hacks me off... to the point that I actively avoid him. It's not because he's a bad person or a mean person or even a dull person...

Maybe I am just a bit nuts?

Are you sure you hate this person? It sounds like he just rubs you the wrong way. Hate is pretty strong.

 

[Belk]

Thanks Aisy,

There isn't one clear thing or trigger. It's his mannerisms, they way he speaks, what he speaks about... basically his entire personality.

Is it possible that he reminds you of someone else who you have a strong dislike of?

 

[JustOneWay]

What are you talking about? The OP says he hates someone. I responded witha Biblically aligned response.

No you did not. Basically, you came back and said he hates Jesus.


If you dont want to discuss the topic without calling atheists Jesus haters, I suggest that you move along.

 

[quatona]

It's more... His entire personality just really hacks me off...

You know his entire personality?

to the point that I actively avoid him. It's not because he's a bad person or a mean person or even a dull person...

Maybe I am just a bit nuts?

I don´t think so. I find myself being spontaneously (and without rationalizable reason) being more attracted to one person, less to another and downright being hacked off by another (now, the fact alone that I encounter this does not really make a case against it being a bit nuts - but pretty much everyone I know tells me they know this phenomenon as well).
I take that part as a given. For me the question is: How do I work from there?

 

[Tower Crane Driver]

Are you sure you hate this person? It sounds like he just rubs you the wrong way. Hate is pretty strong.

True. OK, I really really dislike the guy to the point that I have to avoid any contact with him, and when forced into contact I feel my stomach turning.

Is it possible that he reminds you of someone else who you have a strong dislike of?

I suppose it is possible, although, I've never really dislike someone entirely before, and for no logical reason..

 

[b&wpac4]

True. OK, I really really dislike the guy to the point that I have to avoid any contact with him, and when forced into contact I feel my stomach turning.




I suppose it is possible, although, I've never really dislike someone entirely before, and for no logical reason..

The truth of the matter is that it isn't about this other person, it's about you. You are in control of your emotions and your actions. If your age marker is correct, at thirty years old you really need to learn how to handle situations where you will be around people you don't especially like. It's part of life, and it is never going away.

We could analyze for years about exactly why you don't like this fellow, but in the end it doesn't matter why you don't like him. It hardly even matters that you don't like him. He is a co-worker and you need to find the best way to work with him when you are required to or seek employment elsewhere. However, my guess is you will never find a place where you like the company of everybody 100%. So it is best to face the problem now and learn how you can deal with it.

 

[Tower Crane Driver]

I do cope with it and I have learnt to work with him.

My age marker is correct and I don't make my problem with the man in question known. I don't behave like a spoilt child around him. When I have to work with him, i do, and I do it respectfully and treat him the same way I treat all others.

I avoid him and try and pre-empt his movements to avoid him, to stop myself getting annoyed by him.

Maybe we could get back to discussing the rights and wrongs of liking or disliking someone arbitrarily?

 

[quatona]

Maybe we could get back to discussing the rights and wrongs of liking or disliking someone arbitrarily?

Well, if - as you seem to posit (correct me if I am wrong) - it is beyond your control, I don´t see how the right/wrong question makes much sense. It would be more like a, say, handicap or disability.

 

[mpok1519]

its wrong just to hate people arbitrarily when they've done nothing to you.

infact, even when someone trespasses against you, you should always fogive their trespasses, which includes not hating/disliking them.

 

[white dove]

Is it wrong that I hate someone?

When I say hate, I mean hate, HATE....

There's this person I work with, who I see 5 days out of 7, and I really really despise this person to the point I have to actively avoid him, sometimes trying to pre-empt his whereabouts to avoid bumping into him.

And, what makes it worse... is that he's a nice guy, has never done me any harm and is well liked by all of my workmates.

Blind Post:

Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you really hate him. Are you jealous of him? Do you want to jab sporks in your eyeballs, rather than talk to him because he never gets to the point? Does he drain you of your energy? Is he lazy? Does he represent what you hate so much?


This sounds like an internal problem, otherwise. There is nothing wrong with avoiding people who are toxic for you to be around. But, on the other hand, if there is literally no good reason you're avoiding him, perhaps it is something within that you need to change.

Hate is such a strong word for someone you merely want to avoid.

 

[Tower Crane Driver]

Thanks White Dove.

Weapon of choice... Spork... haha.

 

[frost1]

i don't know the exact problem is but i would have to agree with -B&Wpac4- in that it doesn't matter where you work, you are going to run into people who have different personalities than your own and you need to learn how to deal with them by looking at your self in that why let it bother you. doesn't do anygood to run from any problem. myself i read my bible and ask GOD for the best way. at some time he will show or teach you the answer. GOD BLESS!

 

[Zaac]

No you did not. Basically, you came back and said he hates Jesus.


If you dont want to discuss the topic without calling atheists Jesus haters, I suggest that you move along.

I Biblically have the right to do so. If they can deny the existence of God, then can say they hate Jesus.

And I did discuss the topic from a Biblical perspective. As an atheist, he doesn't love his neighbor unconditionally because he rejects Christ. SO while yall skirt the real issue, I'm gonna deal with what his real problem is: the rejection of Jesus Christ.

It's a Christian forum. We are to direct people to Christ, not feed their excuses for why they sin.

And as it stands, if he rejects Jesus Christ, which is essentially hating Jesus Christ because the rejection will place him in hell, then it should be expected that he would hate his neighbor.

You can't truly love without the One Who is Love.

So like I said. Yall keep telling him about other stuff. I'm gonna address the real problem.

 

[Mling]

Zaac, why do you so hate Gaea? And how can expect anything you say to be loving or trustworthy when you so clearly hate Gaea? Gaea is your own *mother!* She birthed us, and loves us, and you just turn your back and reject her.

How can such a person love *anybody* if they reject their own spiritual mother?

 

[Zaac]

Zaac, why do you so hate Gaea? And how can expect anything you say to be loving or trustworthy when you so clearly hate Gaea? Gaea is your own *mother!* She birthed us, and loves us, and you just turn your back and reject her.

How can such a person love *anybody* if they reject their own spiritual mother?

Gaea ain't my Lord and Savior.