Guys: What about compatibility?

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

By compatibility I'm talking about values, personality, intelligence, humor, etc.

I mean, do men tend to choose someone based on looks and then "find the good qualities about her" after that?

"Looks" are part of a woman's values, personality, intelligence, humor, etc.

"Looks" are a "good quality" in the first place.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

We've talked on this forum about how guys are visually oriented...

What do you have in mind when you say that "guys are visually oriented"?

It seems that whenever it is said that men are "visual" or "visually oriented" the speaker/writer is talking about men's sexuality.

Does that mean that if a man appreciates another man's physical appearance that such appreciation is a sexual response?

If a man can in a non-sexual way appreciate another man's physical appearance then why can't he in a non-sexual way appreciate a woman's physical appearance?

Is non-sexual appreciation of a woman's physical appearance part of this "visual orientation"?

 

[Gardener101]

Compatibility is over rated.

 

[BoazB]

OK, IMHO, looking at the OP I think the basic problem is this: That all these things are important, but the LOOKS come first in the process, and the rest come a while afterwards (Causing much grief, sadness in failed dates etc. )

1) LOOKS: This is when guys suddenly notice "The" Girl

Then he gets to know her... Then he finds out:

2) VALUES: She sells booze while he preaches Teetotalism. She thinks he is demon possessed b/c of the party he votes for.

3) PERSONALITY: He is a porr little INFJ. She is blunt and upfront, and is paranoid that b/c he doesn't communicate that much yet has deep committment, he is a stalker of some sort and is looking in her dustbin to see how much she paid for Pizza.

4) INTELLIGENCE: He enjoys making subtle language-based jokes, that she never appreciates, b/c she can never work it out, or realise that a joke has been made.

5) HUMOUR: See above.

Then I think IMHO that they would be MAD to stay together

 

[Gardener101]

OK, IMHO, looking at the OP I think the basic problem is this: That all these things are important, but the LOOKS come first in the process, and the rest come a while afterwards (Causing much grief, sadness in failed dates etc. )

1) LOOKS: This is when guys suddenly notice "The" Girl

Then he gets to know her... Then he finds out:

2) VALUES: She sells booze while he preaches Teetotalism. She thinks he is demon possessed b/c of the party he votes for.

3) PERSONALITY: He is a porr little INFJ. She is blunt and upfront, and is paranoid that b/c he doesn't communicate that much yet has deep committment, he is a stalker of some sort and is looking in her dustbin to see how much she paid for Pizza.

4) INTELLIGENCE: He enjoys making subtle language-based jokes, that she never appreciates, b/c she can never work it out, or realise that a joke has been made.

5) HUMOUR: See above.

Then I think IMHO that they would be MAD to stay together

This is my reply to you.

 

[BoazB]

Thanks for the interesting reply. I'm not sure if attraction always equates to compatibility. By the way, as far as opposites attracting each other, I have just come from another thread "Single and upset" where a post (No. 23) disagreed with that sentiment.