Growing in Christ

[brinny]

I have a little while online tonight..so I'm catchin' up with Purr Purr and all you wunnerful souls who I've missed dearly.....

so glad to touch base again....

God bless us, ev'ry one

 

[Pilgrim1951]

It has been a long time since I have posted in any of the forums, but this one has always been my favorite. The Lord has brought me a long way since I first read Leastone's post. That post began a change in me which was followed by many other changes. I found a wonderful pastor and church family. My lifestyle had so drastically changed in the previous year, that I was constantly asking God what He wanted me to do as far as work was concerned. I never got a clear answer, I just continued to try to help my husband in his business and also try to raise some horses. Then on January 19 of this year, the bottom dropped out of our lives. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and told all that could be done for him was to maybe slow it down a little with chemo and radiation, and try to keep him comfortable. The oncologist told us that the average survival time for someone at this stage of this type of cancer is 6 months. My husband is at 8 weeks and is almost completely bedridden. The hospice administrator said that no one can predict, but with the symptoms he is showing, he probably will survive another 2 weeks to 1 month. Just prior to this happening, my husband had a long struggle with the Lord pulling him back to fellowship with Him. He said at the time of his diagnosis, now he knew why God had been working on him so hard. My formerly big strong (physically and in personality) husband now has to rely on his 120 pound wife to take care of all his needs, including washing and dressing him and helping him on and off the toilet. This has been so very difficult for him, and me. His disposition has never been the best, but now he is so miserable, I am the recipient of most of his hostility. So he simutaneously hates, loves, needs, resents and is grateful for me. He wants to stay close to God, but the psychological, emotional and physical pain of this disease and situation is pulling him away. He has no peace. I ask God to keep me a loving, compassionate wife. But sometimes his beligerence and hatefulness, coupled with my grief, love, resentment and loss, is almost more than I can bear. He was trying to keep the business going and our daughter and I, as he became less able to do things each day, tried to keep going with it. We realized through talking together and prayer, that it was just not to be. I can't tell you what a shambles our business and personal finances are in. I have no idea what will happen. Of course the considerable addition of medical expenses makes the future look even dimmer. Now, having said all that - I have to now say this - God is still on the throne. He is still in control. He is still my Heavenly Father who loves me. I thank Him for this storm which seems might capsize my little boat and drown me, but He is still merciful and good, and will be glorified in all of this. Every day, the bitter tears come. Every day, I watch as my precious husband wastes away. I know that many people have been through much more than this. My main desires are that his suffering be over,and that he stays with the Lord and will be with Him in Glory, soon. The other is that my life now and forever reflects the light of the Son. That I remain obedient to my Father and continue to praise Him and love Him as He holds all of my family in the palm of His hand. 1 Peter 1:3-7 All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by His boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And God, in His mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting Him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Thanks for listening, it helps to be able to talk about it. I covet your prayers. God bless all of you.

 

[EarthMomma]

Dear Pilgrim,
Thank you for sharing this powerful testimony. The hope that is in you in so uplifting and inspiring.

It has been a long time since I have posted in any of the forums, but this one has always been my favorite. The Lord has brought me a long way since I first read Leastone's post. That post began a change in me which was followed by many other changes. I found a wonderful pastor and church family. My lifestyle had so drastically changed in the previous year, that I was constantly asking God what He wanted me to do as far as work was concerned. I never got a clear answer, I just continued to try to help my husband in his business and also try to raise some horses. Then on January 19 of this year, the bottom dropped out of our lives. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and told all that could be done for him was to maybe slow it down a little with chemo and radiation, and try to keep him comfortable. The oncologist told us that the average survival time for someone at this stage of this type of cancer is 6 months. My husband is at 8 weeks and is almost completely bedridden. The hospice administrator said that no one can predict, but with the symptoms he is showing, he probably will survive another 2 weeks to 1 month. Just prior to this happening, my husband had a long struggle with the Lord pulling him back to fellowship with Him. He said at the time of his diagnosis, now he knew why God had been working on him so hard. My formerly big strong (physically and in personality) husband now has to rely on his 120 pound wife to take care of all his needs, including washing and dressing him and helping him on and off the toilet. This has been so very difficult for him, and me. His disposition has never been the best, but now he is so miserable, I am the recipient of most of his hostility. So he simutaneously hates, loves, needs, resents and is grateful for me. He wants to stay close to God, but the psychological, emotional and physical pain of this disease and situation is pulling him away. He has no peace. I ask God to keep me a loving, compassionate wife. But sometimes his beligerence and hatefulness, coupled with my grief, love, resentment and loss, is almost more than I can bear. He was trying to keep the business going and our daughter and I, as he became less able to do things each day, tried to keep going with it. We realized through talking together and prayer, that it was just not to be. I can't tell you what a shambles our business and personal finances are in. I have no idea what will happen. Of course the considerable addition of medical expenses makes the future look even dimmer. Now, having said all that - I have to now say this - God is still on the throne. He is still in control. He is still my Heavenly Father who loves me. I thank Him for this storm which seems might capsize my little boat and drown me, but He is still merciful and good, and will be glorified in all of this. Every day, the bitter tears come. Every day, I watch as my precious husband wastes away. I know that many people have been through much more than this. My main desires are that his suffering be over,and that he stays with the Lord and will be with Him in Glory, soon. The other is that my life now and forever reflects the light of the Son. That I remain obedient to my Father and continue to praise Him and love Him as He holds all of my family in the palm of His hand. 1 Peter 1:3-7 All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by His boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And God, in His mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting Him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Thanks for listening, it helps to be able to talk about it. I covet your prayers. God bless all of you.

I will pray for you, considering it a blessing to be lifted up by you and your love for God! It is so good to see a woman with the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God in her hand, as she counts it all for joy and overcomes! You bring honor and glory to God by your witness, and I know you'll continue to move from glory to glory!

In love and prayer for you,
EarthMomma

 

[angelwind]

It has been a long time since I have posted in any of the forums, but this one has always been my favorite. The Lord has brought me a long way since I first read Leastone's post. That post began a change in me which was followed by many other changes. I found a wonderful pastor and church family. My lifestyle had so drastically changed in the previous year, that I was constantly asking God what He wanted me to do as far as work was concerned. I never got a clear answer, I just continued to try to help my husband in his business and also try to raise some horses. Then on January 19 of this year, the bottom dropped out of our lives. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and told all that could be done for him was to maybe slow it down a little with chemo and radiation, and try to keep him comfortable. The oncologist told us that the average survival time for someone at this stage of this type of cancer is 6 months. My husband is at 8 weeks and is almost completely bedridden. The hospice administrator said that no one can predict, but with the symptoms he is showing, he probably will survive another 2 weeks to 1 month. Just prior to this happening, my husband had a long struggle with the Lord pulling him back to fellowship with Him. He said at the time of his diagnosis, now he knew why God had been working on him so hard. My formerly big strong (physically and in personality) husband now has to rely on his 120 pound wife to take care of all his needs, including washing and dressing him and helping him on and off the toilet. This has been so very difficult for him, and me. His disposition has never been the best, but now he is so miserable, I am the recipient of most of his hostility. So he simutaneously hates, loves, needs, resents and is grateful for me. He wants to stay close to God, but the psychological, emotional and physical pain of this disease and situation is pulling him away. He has no peace. I ask God to keep me a loving, compassionate wife. But sometimes his beligerence and hatefulness, coupled with my grief, love, resentment and loss, is almost more than I can bear. He was trying to keep the business going and our daughter and I, as he became less able to do things each day, tried to keep going with it. We realized through talking together and prayer, that it was just not to be. I can't tell you what a shambles our business and personal finances are in. I have no idea what will happen. Of course the considerable addition of medical expenses makes the future look even dimmer. Now, having said all that - I have to now say this - God is still on the throne. He is still in control. He is still my Heavenly Father who loves me. I thank Him for this storm which seems might capsize my little boat and drown me, but He is still merciful and good, and will be glorified in all of this. Every day, the bitter tears come. Every day, I watch as my precious husband wastes away. I know that many people have been through much more than this. My main desires are that his suffering be over,and that he stays with the Lord and will be with Him in Glory, soon. The other is that my life now and forever reflects the light of the Son. That I remain obedient to my Father and continue to praise Him and love Him as He holds all of my family in the palm of His hand. 1 Peter 1:3-7 All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by His boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And God, in His mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting Him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Thanks for listening, it helps to be able to talk about it. I covet your prayers. God bless all of you.

It was good to listen to you....

 

[Pilgrim1951]

Earthmama, thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. Angelwind, so many times in the past your posts have blessed and encouraged me, by sharing a bit of your own trials.

Since my last post, my husband has gotten increasingly weaker. His mind is no longer functioning properly. He seems to have a bit more peace than he did. Every day I am failing him and God in my responses to this situation. Every day I ask forgiveness. One of the hardest problems I have had is with self-pity. When I feel it start to creep in or take control of my thoughts, I run as fast as I can to the Lord, and ask His forgiveness and grace. Self-pity is the kiss of death in our relationship with God. He knows we are hurting and overwhelmed and sorrowful. I believe He is shedding tears right along with me and my husband. Jesus is still holding me, every minute of every day. I am currently reading a book about Corrie Ten Boom. I have read a couple of her books. She talked about a time years after she had been released from the concentration camp and was traveling all over the world sharing Jesus Christ. Suddenly, she could not feel God's presence. She was receiving no direction from Him. She felt abandoned. She had always gotten clear instructions from Him about where to go and whom to see to minister. Now, there was nothing. She happened to meet a policeman on a train who had been present when she and her family had been arrested and taken into custody. He remembered her father had read Psalm 91 that night before they went to sleep in the police station. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1. This is what Corrie wrote about that later: "Now the message was clear. Although there was no light to guide me, I was still in God's will. Actually when one is resting (abiding) under the shadow of the Almighty there will be no light, but that is only because God's Presence is so near. I leaned back in the seat. 'Dear God, when this shadow came over me I thought You had departed. Now I understand it was because You were drawing closer. I eagerly await whatever You have planned for me.' "
I can't tell you how Corrie's story blessed me. Sometimes we have to walk in the darkness for a season. But that is when He draws even closer.
Psalm 139:12 says, "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You."

He is always our light in the darkness.

 

[angelwind]

Earthmama, thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. Angelwind, so many times in the past your posts have blessed and encouraged me, by sharing a bit of your own trials.

Since my last post, my husband has gotten increasingly weaker. His mind is no longer functioning properly. He seems to have a bit more peace than he did. Every day I am failing him and God in my responses to this situation. Every day I ask forgiveness. One of the hardest problems I have had is with self-pity. When I feel it start to creep in or take control of my thoughts, I run as fast as I can to the Lord, and ask His forgiveness and grace. Self-pity is the kiss of death in our relationship with God. He knows we are hurting and overwhelmed and sorrowful. I believe He is shedding tears right along with me and my husband. Jesus is still holding me, every minute of every day. I am currently reading a book about Corrie Ten Boom. I have read a couple of her books. She talked about a time years after she had been released from the concentration camp and was traveling all over the world sharing Jesus Christ. Suddenly, she could not feel God's presence. She was receiving no direction from Him. She felt abandoned. She had always gotten clear instructions from Him about where to go and whom to see to minister. Now, there was nothing. She happened to meet a policeman on a train who had been present when she and her family had been arrested and taken into custody. He remembered her father had read Psalm 91 that night before they went to sleep in the police station. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1. This is what Corrie wrote about that later: "Now the message was clear. Although there was no light to guide me, I was still in God's will. Actually when one is resting (abiding) under the shadow of the Almighty there will be no light, but that is only because God's Presence is so near. I leaned back in the seat. 'Dear God, when this shadow came over me I thought You had departed. Now I understand it was because You were drawing closer. I eagerly await whatever You have planned for me.' "
I can't tell you how Corrie's story blessed me. Sometimes we have to walk in the darkness for a season. But that is when He draws even closer.
Psalm 139:12 says, "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You."

He is always our light in the darkness.

You may think you are failing...and yes self pity is deadly...you are wise to recognize this and run to the Lord with it...but there is a sweet perfume coming from you...pressed to the surface because of the pressure...

I am struggling with myself in a long trial too...need to get my heart before the Lord more.

I also think of the Holy of holies...there was no light in that sancutary either until the Lord revealed Himself...just hang in there...He may reveal Himself to You in a very meaningful way...it just happened to me.

What you are facing and living IS a big deal in life...one of the biggest we all face.

 

[EarthMomma]

Thanks so much for sharing more of your testimony and the inspiring words by Corrie. Isn't God good to put just what you need in front of you, when you need it. You can't imagine how much I needed you to share about the shadow of darkness this morning. May we never find fear in the dark, but safety for knowing whose we are and that we are abiding under His wings.

Earthmama, thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. Angelwind, so many times in the past your posts have blessed and encouraged me, by sharing a bit of your own trials.

Since my last post, my husband has gotten increasingly weaker. His mind is no longer functioning properly. He seems to have a bit more peace than he did. Every day I am failing him and God in my responses to this situation. Every day I ask forgiveness. One of the hardest problems I have had is with self-pity. When I feel it start to creep in or take control of my thoughts, I run as fast as I can to the Lord, and ask His forgiveness and grace. Self-pity is the kiss of death in our relationship with God. He knows we are hurting and overwhelmed and sorrowful. I believe He is shedding tears right along with me and my husband. Jesus is still holding me, every minute of every day. I am currently reading a book about Corrie Ten Boom. I have read a couple of her books. She talked about a time years after she had been released from the concentration camp and was traveling all over the world sharing Jesus Christ. Suddenly, she could not feel God's presence. She was receiving no direction from Him. She felt abandoned. She had always gotten clear instructions from Him about where to go and whom to see to minister. Now, there was nothing. She happened to meet a policeman on a train who had been present when she and her family had been arrested and taken into custody. He remembered her father had read Psalm 91 that night before they went to sleep in the police station. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1. This is what Corrie wrote about that later: "Now the message was clear. Although there was no light to guide me, I was still in God's will. Actually when one is resting (abiding) under the shadow of the Almighty there will be no light, but that is only because God's Presence is so near. I leaned back in the seat. 'Dear God, when this shadow came over me I thought You had departed. Now I understand it was because You were drawing closer. I eagerly await whatever You have planned for me.' "
I can't tell you how Corrie's story blessed me. Sometimes we have to walk in the darkness for a season. But that is when He draws even closer.
Psalm 139:12 says, "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You."

He is always our light in the darkness.

May your day include peace, and the blessing of forgiving yourself and remembering not your imperfections, for He remembers them not. Praise God, we are blameless through Him. May Christ continue to carry you as you do His work; what beautiful hands and feet you are!

Love,
EarthMomma

 

[angelwind]

You are in my prayers Pilgrim1951...

 

[Savedsis]

Hello everyone...
Anything you have to compromise to get, you never keep...The Lord meets our basic needs for security, significance, and self-worth..Therefore, you don't need to seek approval, affirmation, or acceptance from anyone else..Once Jesus beomes your everything, in Him you live, move, and have your being. In Him, you are blessed with every spititual blessing..In Him you have redemption, delieverance, and salvation through His blood, the forgiveness of our shortcomings and offenses, in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor......Never minimize the extent of the powerful influence that can come from your life when you make the pursuit of God Himself your complete passion.......

 

[Savedsis]

Earthmama, thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. Angelwind, so many times in the past your posts have blessed and encouraged me, by sharing a bit of your own trials.

Since my last post, my husband has gotten increasingly weaker. His mind is no longer functioning properly. He seems to have a bit more peace than he did. Every day I am failing him and God in my responses to this situation. Every day I ask forgiveness. One of the hardest problems I have had is with self-pity. When I feel it start to creep in or take control of my thoughts, I run as fast as I can to the Lord, and ask His forgiveness and grace. Self-pity is the kiss of death in our relationship with God. He knows we are hurting and overwhelmed and sorrowful. I believe He is shedding tears right along with me and my husband. Jesus is still holding me, every minute of every day. I am currently reading a book about Corrie Ten Boom. I have read a couple of her books. She talked about a time years after she had been released from the concentration camp and was traveling all over the world sharing Jesus Christ. Suddenly, she could not feel God's presence. She was receiving no direction from Him. She felt abandoned. She had always gotten clear instructions from Him about where to go and whom to see to minister. Now, there was nothing. She happened to meet a policeman on a train who had been present when she and her family had been arrested and taken into custody. He remembered her father had read Psalm 91 that night before they went to sleep in the police station. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1. This is what Corrie wrote about that later: "Now the message was clear. Although there was no light to guide me, I was still in God's will. Actually when one is resting (abiding) under the shadow of the Almighty there will be no light, but that is only because God's Presence is so near. I leaned back in the seat. 'Dear God, when this shadow came over me I thought You had departed. Now I understand it was because You were drawing closer. I eagerly await whatever You have planned for me.' "
I can't tell you how Corrie's story blessed me. Sometimes we have to walk in the darkness for a season. But that is when He draws even closer.
Psalm 139:12 says, "Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You."

He is always our light in the darkness.

PRaying for you For you in this situation.. God the Father loves you right where you are..He wants to hold you...He wants to cover you...He wants to fill the voids in your life that cause you to make choices that you later regret..He wants to hold your heart in His hand and protect it from futher pain and anquish..He wants to heal your husband.....God bless you my sister in Christ.Praying for Him to hold you up.... ..

 

[Savedsis]

Thanks so much for sharing more of your testimony and the inspiring words by Corrie. Isn't God good to put just what you need in front of you, when you need it. You can't imagine how much I needed you to share about the shadow of darkness this morning. May we never find fear in the dark, but safety for knowing whose we are and that we are abiding under His wings.May your day include peace, and the blessing of forgiving yourself and remembering not your imperfections, for He remembers them not. Praise God, we are blameless through Him. May Christ continue to carry you as you do His work; what beautiful hands and feet you are!

Love,
EarthMomma

So true EarthMomma...

 

[Pilgrim1951]

Thank you again, Earthmama and Angelwind. I am so grateful for your prayers and encouragement.

I think the church may be entering into a time where God is teaching us about the "fellowship of His sufferings". For a number of years now, we have been spoon fed a gospel that does not accept pain and suffering as part of our walk with Jesus. The philosophy seems to be that if we have physical ailments, financial problems, etc. then we are somehow not living in the "fullness" of God's blessings. I believe this teaching is erroneous and has hurt the body of Christ tremendously. People like me who believe that God is in control of all situations and that He allows what He wills to allow in our lives, sometimes disease, sometimes disaster of all kinds, are considered to be at best, deceived, and at worst, heretics. If I err in my thinking and believing then I will answer to God at my time of judgment. At one time I was one of the "blessed" believers. I prayed prayers full of scriptural promises of abundance and blessings. I didn't know Who God was at all. I used the word of God to paint a picture of who I thought He was. I was haughty and judged my poor suffering brothers and sisters because they were ignorant of the teaching I followed. I had been taught and believed that if I said or did "A" then God would be obligated by His own word to do "B". Of course I am oversimplifying for the sake of telling the story. But I shudder even now when I think of how close I came to losing my Lord. How close I came to someday coming before the Lord and being one of those who would say, "Lord, Lord, have I not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?", and then would hear the chilling, heartbreaking words, "I never knew you; depart from Me." But God chastised me and delivered me from this crippling doctrine. I praise Him for loving me enough to make me miserable and convicted. Then loving me enough to comfort me and hold me in His arms as He whispered that I am His. I never would have known what it is like to be sheltered in the "shadow of the Almighty", I would never have experienced His unfathomable mercy, known of His sovereignty, believed in His indescribable grace. I would never have been able to understand or accept the love of precious sisters like you who minister the balm of God's mercy. Lord bless you and keep you as He holds you in the palm of His hand. I love you. You are in my prayers as well.

 

[EarthMomma]

The depth of your insight reflects true love. Again, I fall on my knees in prayers of thankfulness for being able to share in your wisdom and your testimony.

I think the church may be entering into a time where God is teaching us about the "fellowship of His sufferings". For a number of years now, we have been spoon fed a gospel that does not accept pain and suffering as part of our walk with Jesus. The philosophy seems to be that if we have physical ailments, financial problems, etc. then we are somehow not living in the "fullness" of God's blessings. I believe this teaching is erroneous and has hurt the body of Christ tremendously. People like me who believe that God is in control of all situations and that He allows what He wills to allow in our lives, sometimes disease, sometimes disaster of all kinds, are considered to be at best, deceived, and at worst, heretics. If I err in my thinking and believing then I will answer to God at my time of judgment. At one time I was one of the "blessed" believers. I prayed prayers full of scriptural promises of abundance and blessings. I didn't know Who God was at all. I used the word of God to paint a picture of who I thought He was. I was haughty and judged my poor suffering brothers and sisters because they were ignorant of the teaching I followed. I had been taught and believed that if I said or did "A" then God would be obligated by His own word to do "B". Of course I am oversimplifying for the sake of telling the story. But I shudder even now when I think of how close I came to losing my Lord. How close I came to someday coming before the Lord and being one of those who would say, "Lord, Lord, have I not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?", and then would hear the chilling, heartbreaking words, "I never knew you; depart from Me." But God chastised me and delivered me from this crippling doctrine. I praise Him for loving me enough to make me miserable and convicted. Then loving me enough to comfort me and hold me in His arms as He whispered that I am His. I never would have known what it is like to be sheltered in the "shadow of the Almighty", I would never have experienced His unfathomable mercy, known of His sovereignty, believed in His indescribable grace. I would never have been able to understand or accept the love of precious sisters like you who minister the balm of God's mercy. Lord bless you and keep you as He holds you in the palm of His hand. I love you. You are in my prayers as well.

I too have known the love of God chastizing my ideas about me and about Him, and oh the love with which He corrects! After I came down with a terminal illness, good Christian friends had some of the strangest responses, from blaming me for my own illness to insisting that I heal myself immediately, because they knew I knew God.

But God chastised me and delivered me from this crippling doctrine. I praise Him for loving me enough to make me miserable and convicted. Then loving me enough to comfort me and hold me in His arms as He whispered that I am His. I never would have known what it is like to be sheltered in the "shadow of the Almighty", I would never have experienced His unfathomable mercy, known of His sovereignty, believed in His indescribable grace.

But as I hovered under the shadow of His wings, He showed me many great and mighty things, and what true health meant in Christ. Almost everthing about the world that I thought I knew, was turned upside down (Praise God!), and while God protected me, and healed my heart and soul, He put me to work for Him. He gave me the time to know Him and know His Word, in a new way. He gave me time to be part of my family and my friend community in a new way. I still carry some of the scars of a physical illness, but those have been a soothing witness to others in need, in a strange way. I can't explain it as well as you do, and I'm so thankful for your approach to knowing God through the sufferings (counting them all for joy). But I know Him in a way I never before imagined possible. And He has performed miraculous and glorious works in front of my very eyes continually.

I am so thankful that he directed me to this forum, and to the people in this section. Praise Him, Praise Him! And thanks again to you for bravely sharing your insights and testimony, lifing so many of us through the love that is in you!

Love and joy,
EarthMomma

 

[brinny]

I agree. Amen!

 

[Savedsis]

Thank you again, Earthmama and Angelwind. I am so grateful for your prayers and encouragement.

I think the church may be entering into a time where God is teaching us about the "fellowship of His sufferings". For a number of years now, we have been spoon fed a gospel that does not accept pain and suffering as part of our walk with Jesus. The philosophy seems to be that if we have physical ailments, financial problems, etc. then we are somehow not living in the "fullness" of God's blessings. I believe this teaching is erroneous and has hurt the body of Christ tremendously. People like me who believe that God is in control of all situations and that He allows what He wills to allow in our lives, sometimes disease, sometimes disaster of all kinds, are considered to be at best, deceived, and at worst, heretics. If I err in my thinking and believing then I will answer to God at my time of judgment. At one time I was one of the "blessed" believers. I prayed prayers full of scriptural promises of abundance and blessings. I didn't know Who God was at all. I used the word of God to paint a picture of who I thought He was. I was haughty and judged my poor suffering brothers and sisters because they were ignorant of the teaching I followed. I had been taught and believed that if I said or did "A" then God would be obligated by His own word to do "B". Of course I am oversimplifying for the sake of telling the story. But I shudder even now when I think of how close I came to losing my Lord. How close I came to someday coming before the Lord and being one of those who would say, "Lord, Lord, have I not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?", and then would hear the chilling, heartbreaking words, "I never knew you; depart from Me." But God chastised me and delivered me from this crippling doctrine. I praise Him for loving me enough to make me miserable and convicted. Then loving me enough to comfort me and hold me in His arms as He whispered that I am His. I never would have known what it is like to be sheltered in the "shadow of the Almighty", I would never have experienced His unfathomable mercy, known of His sovereignty, believed in His indescribable grace. I would never have been able to understand or accept the love of precious sisters like you who minister the balm of God's mercy. Lord bless you and keep you as He holds you in the palm of His hand. I love you. You are in my prayers as well.

So true...Destiny is not a haphazard plan of God..It's often a painful process. But in the midst of that pain we often discover our function in ministry. GOd's purpose is not hindered by your past..THe passageway to destiny is a tight place. Your commitment to your calling is what gives you the power to overcome your struggle...You are are anointed to outlive your mistakes...Your experiences make your testimony effective.......God bless

 

[EarthMomma]

What wonderful and helpful posts! Wow, I was excited to read these. Thanks for sharing. It is SO important to know who we are, to accept that we are the righteousness of God in Christ, so we don't view ourselves as anything less than God made us to be; to do otherwise is to not completely comprehend the passion of Christ on the Cross!

I too have found that going through scriptures (although I wrote them out before confessing them outloud) to see who God says I am was a real eye opener. And a faith builder. Christ is alive and lives in us, and there is no end to the glory He has for us NOW, if we only believe.

I love your suggestion about recording and listening to the scriptures that declare our identity.

By praying first for Holy Spirit guidance, and examining His Holy Word, I came to look at believing God in a whole new light. Now I examine all (or I try) situations in terms of these areas (something from Beth Moore that now finally makes sense as God opened the eyes of my heart):

I believe that God is who He says He is.
I believe that God will do what He says He will do.
I believe that I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ!
His Word is alive and active in me!
I BELIEVE GOD!!!

And the key to this kind of active believing is of course to know what His Word says.

Thanks again for these important words. May God continue to bless you, as you help us strengthen our faith, and stand on His Word! God will give us the measure of faith, provided we are obedient, and truly will show us the glory! From glory to glory, we are changed!

In Christ,
EarthMomma

 

[angelwind]

I'm reading these posts and thinking we have all walked down the same path...maybe different circumstances...but the same lessons.

I found out how very willfull and prideful I really was...LOl...at least the Lord let me see enough to know He has begun a good work in me...I have not "arrived" anywhere. But I am on my way...limping a bit...but on my way.
I also got tangled up in "another" gospel as a new believer...yet He kept me thru and delivered me from it...it has made me pray for the church a lot more...we need right doctrine...right teaching badly in America.

 

[angelwind]

I believe that God is who He says He is.
I believe that God will do what He says He will do.
I believe that I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ!
His Word is alive and active in me!
I BELIEVE GOD!!!

This is what I am getting...in a little different way...know God...love God...know His word...and BELIEVE what He has said...

 

[EarthMomma]

This is what I am getting...in a little different way...know God...love God...know His word...and BELIEVE what He has said...

It really is about coming into His presence, isn't it? How wonderful it is to hear others share their experiences.

Pilgrim, I'm sorry that I interjected some thoughts quite out of order here, but I was reading from the beginning, and my last post was in response to the beginning posts on this thread. However, please know that you continue in my prayers, for your strength and the glory and honor you bring to God, and in thankfulness for what you've shared, building us all up. I am truly so thankful for all those who come here to share how much they love God and feel His presence.

(Admittedly, as a newbie, I've been kind of overwhelmed by this site, but so appreciate the opportunity to see His body in action, it's awesome.)

In Christ,
EarthMomma

 

[enchantedscribe]

To All:

My reasons for starting this thread are out of obedience to the Lord and because so many of us seem to be struggling to grow in Him. While I in no way know all there is to know of Him, and seek daily to learn from Him - both directly through His Word and His Spirit and from others who sit at His feet in Love - He continues to prompt me to take the risk and share what I have learned.

After He led me to share the following in another thread, He is now telling me to put this here. (In fact, in His gentle way, He will not leave me alone about it!) My constant prayer is to be pleasing to Him always, and be a blessing in some small way to others. And so it is with humility before Him that I offer this.

All I ask is that others will also post here what they have learned and are learning, that we may all grow in Him and come to the unity of faith, bonded together with Him in the Spirit of His great Love.


There was a time in my life when I did not think God liked me very much, when my whole life seemed to go from misery to misery. Yet, I believed; I knew the Bible very well; and I knew there was a love in me for Him. But I could never seem to get close to Him, and never really saw any specific answers to my prayers. I always felt as if I was following Jesus from way back in the crowd; as if I was climbing hills, only to catch a glimpse of Him going over another hill far in front of me. Finally, I just got fed up and told Him, "Lord. I don't care if You like me or not! I am still going to love You!" And right then, I made up my mind to know Him personally.

So what I would like to offer you are some practical steps that He led me to take (although at the time, I did not realize it was Him leading me) that He used to grow me and teach me and help me find Him. And what a difference this has made in my own prayer life.

1) Guard your tongue. Become aware of what you say out loud, for your words can rob you of any blessings He has for you. No matter how you feel, how depressed you get, etc., don't allow yourself to start speaking from those feelings. There are a multitude of scripture in the both the OT and NT which teach this.

2) Praise God. This truly helps in guarding the words of your mouth as well as overcoming negative feelings. You don't have to try to conjure up reasons for praising Him for the situation, just make up your mind to praise Him in the situation. He lead me (and I still do this at times when necessary) to say out loud: "I praise you Father that I am not moved by my feelings, but only by your Word. I praise you Father that I am not moved by what others say about me, but only by your Word." And so on. Truly, praise works!

3) Get His Word from your mind to your spirit. Two ways to help with this are (a) to never read the Bible without praying first, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you in it; to open your heart to receive what He is teaching you; to open your understanding to grasp it. Etc. And (b) go through the NT finding every passage where it talks about who we are in Christ and who He is in us. In other words, everything positive that applies to us being new creatures in Him. Make a tape recording of your own voice saying these passages, applying them to yourself. Our spirits pay attention to what we say, and since it is with our hearts that we believe - not our minds - by saying His Word aloud we can re-program our inner man according to that Word. Example: "I am the Righteousness of God in Christ." Then, play that tape! I would put on headphones at night and play it as I went to sleep, night after night for weeks.

4) Don't try to believe for more than you have faith to believe. Faith is like a muscle; it must be exercised in order to grow. Just as you would not begin lifting weights with the maximum amount - the goal you want to reach - until you built up to it, so don't try to believe too far beyond what you know you can believe for. Judging this is tricky, I agree. But you have to start somewhere and I believe the Lord will guide you. Many, many times I have wanted to believe, but had to admit I really did not have that big of faith. Don't set yourself up to fail; but don't set your sights too low either. Exercise your faith and it will grow, until you can believe for big miracles.

5) Make it your primary goal to know Christ Jesus. More than anything else, seek to know the Giver rather than the gift. Humble yourself - in your attitude especially - before Him and trust Him to guide you. Remember that love is not a feeling, rather love causes feelings. We know He loves us - just like we know anyone loves us - because He says He does. His love for us is not dependent upon our feelings about it, anymore than our parents love for us was dependent upon our feelings. Realizing this is extremely important in our being able to trust Him, for our trust - our faith - is very much dependent upon our knowing and believing in His love for us in Christ. And we know He loves us because His Word says He does, and God does not lie.

6) Remember we have an enemy and he is a liar! Daniel prayed and even though the Lord heard his prayer the first day, it took 21 days for the answer to come. Pray, believe (because of His Word) that in the Name of Jesus we can be sure that the Father hears and answers our prayers, and then persevere in thanking Him for answering our prayer. The enemy delights in robbing of us of our joy, faith, confidence, peace, etc., as well as the answers to our prayers. Stay the course!

7) Practice listening. Set some time (20-30 minutes) aside each day to sit quietly before the Lord. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Get a notebook and write what you hear inside. Don't worry about getting big revelations - because you probably won't; and don't worry if you don't get anything - because you may not for awhile. Consider it as you would any conversation: both sides talk in a conversation, not just one. So you are allowing the Lord His opportunity to speak to you and not you just talking to Him. And write down what comes to you. And even when you do begin to hear from Him, don't expect some earth-shattering revelations. For a long time the Lord had me practice this, just to learn how to hear Him no matter what was going on around me. And I am still learning. But measure everything you hear against His Word! And seek to be obedient to what He tells you. It is when we are faithful on the little things that He will trust us with bigger things.

8) Seek His will first and always. The Lord will never get in line with us; we must always get in line with Him. In all your prayers - for others as well as for yourself, seek His will.


May the Lord bless others through this, and continue to bless us all in the coming posts from His faithful ones.

LeastOne

[FONT=&quot]This is so beautiful and well put together. Have you ever considered putting your thoughts and teachings together in a book? Has the Lord ever mentioned this to you in your time alone with Him? I was just wondering... because as I was reading this it was so right on with everything the Lord has taught me and I am a writer and the Lord has told me to write a book and I was just wondering if He has ever mentioned this to you as well because your wording is very eloquent and flows so easily and reads so beautifully!
May your journey with the Lord continue to grow each and everyday more beautifully and deeper in the Spirit! One thing I wanted to share about your teaching was 3). Actually does lead into 4). Because Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God. So when you say to Get His Word from your mind to your Spirit in # 3 and then in #4 you say Faith is like a muscle; it must be exercised in order to grow. It is so awesome because you are taking that Word from your mind, moving it to your spirit. And then also building your faith as well by listening to it. Because faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God! That is so right on and what the Lord showed me as well.
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Hugs, Smiles and Laughter! We all need more Joy of the Lord! Blessings to you on your Journey to knowing God in a deeper way my beloved!
Sister Tammy
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