Gossip

[Jess88]

Hi all .

I am creating this thread because I need to let some things out.

I have been a little upset... I go to church and God knows how much I try to avoid any sort of gossip or judgement against anyone, I also have been trying to ask those who do come with those talk with me to please just stop talking bad about the other person or just let it be... I think I am not doing it right because THEY KEEP DOING IT! and today was HARD!

We are trying to do a play for our church and it is a play where our eyes has to be 100% turned to God and I don't think it is... So when we are messing with the devil's work he is gonna attack, and we were in the middle of rehersal and already started wrong where someone was insulting on someone else's way of practicing, I went to that person and said just to her, hey come on let him be stop harassing him he is trying... and I think it went through one ear but out the other because 5 minutes later they were laughing about that guy again... it got to a point where that same guy was almost giving up from doing the play his eyes were glossy and you could tell he was upset, he grabbed his keys and said he couldn't do it...

Before that something happend where no one knew what time they were to get in character and they started talking about it, i jumped in and started saying how i couldnt believe no one memorized 1 minute of the song where they were suposed to be playing their part, it was the 3rd rehersal already and all they needed to know was memorize one single word or phrase where they come in and leave... even if they miss it a couple of time at least they know where they have to come in and leave... and then this person (who wast even on the play) starts speaking against me, this person had a point but i sort of felt attacked on the way she came at me. At that time i was really mad so i just stopped talking. After that everyone got quiet and started rehersing like we should have in the first place... Then i went to sit next to some ppl cuz i was tired of standing and they start talking about the other person and i didnt say anything but i said i was mad in the way they came at me, idk maybe i shouldnt have.... Gosh .... I just hope and pray that we get this play because the spiritual battle is starting to get hard.... and this is only the 3rd rehersal....

Anyways sorry if this was a waste of time... i needed to let it out somewhere... if you hear someone gossiping please, don't gossip, ask them to stop gossiping and be in peace, preach the gospel and try to love everyone...

what will that 5 minutes of gossip bring you?? NOTHING... 5 minutes of telling the person who is gossiping or judging that - they are sinning - because they arent loving their neighbors, if you say it and truly mean it the holy spirit might take over that persons mind and heart and make them realize that they are wrong and repent!

Come on lets try to love more !

Lord, please forgive me for I am nothing and if i have done any wrong please show me how to change so I could be everything you have planned for my future.

Thank you Jesus for you are truly the only path towards our father in heaven God.

 

[Solidlyhere]

Some people LOVE Gossip.

Other people (like the OP) don't love it.

I don't want to hear anything bad about another person.

I have trained my friends to NOT gossip around me.
If we are together, and I hear a juicy bit of gossip starting up, I leave where she is.

I did this a couple times in Church. I got up during a boring sermon, made my way to the aisle, and sat in a different row.
After Church, people wondered . . . people talked.

And, certainly I have done this while standing around, and even in Choir practice.
I can safely say: Today, I am a gossip-Free zone.

This is a simple -- but powerful -- training tool.
Try it . . . you'll like it.

 

[Elijah2]

It's sad but gossip and backbiting is the ploy of the enemy. And we fall continually to the snare of the fowler.

Gossip and backbiting can also be labelled "criticising", even though it may be positive criticism.

So it's a Catch 22, particularly when someone ask you, "How your going mate?"

Now what do you do or say, when you are suffering and shockingly sick. Do you tell them that you are sick or do you say, "I'm alright!" When in fact you are lieing.

Yep, humans gossip, and dob people in. That's life, but we don't have to get involved---do we?

 

[mrscplus]

I hage gossip, unfortuately, put people into a gathering place together and it will happen.

I have been the victim of gossip, my whole life...being the PK, and now the PW - we are an easy target.

As we were being married, a wonderful woman gave us an amazing piece of advice that I remind myself of often: "If people are talking about you, they are giving someone else a break".

When DH and I went through a really awful time of attack in a church he was serving, I was really angry.
People were looking for things to say about us, him and me...just to fuel the attacks. All of it untrue, and none of it about our essential character.

I had a very wise friend who recommended a book. It helped me survive that time, and to not give in to my baser instincts. "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. It helped me see that Satan get the best of us when we let others offend us. I can't control what people say, but I can control how I react.

Gossip is hurtful, and wrong. But we can chose to walk away from it, and to call people up on it when we experience it.

 

[madeclean]

Gossip. Now there's a tricky one. Sometimes repeating simple information is called gossip. But I dissagree with that. We have all experienced being talked about and talking about others. But I feel the real way to tell if something is really what we would call gossip is asking ourselves, Am I merely stating facts?,("The Miller's are getting a divorce.") or am I stating a fact along with vicious speculation?, ("The Millers are getting a divorce, porbably because of ...")
I remember an aquaintance calling me once and telling me that she heard someone "gossipping" about me. I asked her what they had said. She told me. I told her that I was not upset (and I really wasn't) because the person accused of gossipping, who was a friend and a Christian, was merely relaying facts WITHOUT any specualtion.
It's the vicious speculation or judgement that is the sin and makes truthful statements into gossip.
In your situation, it sounds like an authoritative stage manager is needed here to keep everyone productive and on task. Take this to your pastor and see if they don't agree.

 

[Jenster]

IT sounds not only like gossip but that there's no one really running your play. Or maybe I am misunderstanding and YOU are in charge, but people aren't doing what you expect. (I know ALL about that one ).

People will probably not stop gossiping because people do what they find enjoyable and fun. I am NOT defending gossip. I am just saying what I have learned through experience. People feel more important when they put others down, even though it is not righteous and it is destructive.

You can't control others, but it was good that you spoke up to defend that guy who was being picked on. The best you can do is NOT be a part of it. And if you're in charge, set clear goals for people so that you are seeing progress. Also, if you have to, call everyone together for a meeting and try to focus them (in a positive but firm way) on fostering a supportive environment. People can be difficult sometimes (well, a lot of the time! ). Don't let it get you down. Just do you best and God will be glorified.

 

[Treasurer]

You know, I had no idea how deep gossip went. Even in our own families we gossip about each other. Just simple statements to someone else about those we love. Yet it can hurt them. If it doesnt lift someone up, or build them up in the Lord, then we shouldnt be saying it about someone.

May God help us all to overcome our evil thoughts, and unruly mouths. May he give us the strength to subdue them.

God Bless