GOP senators unanimously vote against seeing evidence

[TLK Valentine]

In case you were wondering why they only allow water and milk at the impeachment...


ALL THE WITNESSES: Ok we all agree. This is what happened --

REPUBLICANS: None of you were in the room!

BOLTON: *raises hand* Well I was in the...

REPUBLICANS: Who asked you?! Shut up! You’re a liberal pawn!

BOLTON: Um... I’m actually I’m a lifelong Republican and I was literally Trump’s national security advi...

REPUBLICANS: Shut your mustache! Somebody bring back the first national security advisor.

FLYNN: *in orange jumpsuit* Hey sorry guys I’m in jail lol.

REPUBLICANS: What? Why?

FLYNN: For lying to the FBI about the Russia investigation.

REPUBLICANS: Well what idiot told you to do that?!

FLYNN: The Pres...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! No one believes either of you!

KELLY: *raises hand* I believe them. And I was the Chief of Sta...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Let’s talk to the current chief of staff. Who is he?

MULVANEY: *raises hand* It’s me. Sort of. Well, I'm the acting...

REPUBLICANS: Aw, crud. Never mind.

PARNAS: *raises hand* I was also in the room. In fact, here’s a cell phone video of the President saying that...

REPUBLICANS: Wait, what?! How on Earth did you sneak a cell phone into a meeting with the President?

PARNAS: It was easy! I just walked right in and...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! You’re a criminal!

PARNAS: Correct. So I just walked right in and...

DONALD: I don’t know him.

PARNAS: And here’s 500 pictures of me with the President because we’re BFFs.

REPUBLICANS: Wait... What idiot introduced you to the President??

PARNAS: His personal lawyer.

REPUBLICANS: Cohen???

COHEN: *also in orange jumpsuit* Hey no sorry guys I’m in jail too. Oops.

REPUBLICANS: Why?

COHEN: For campaign finance violations.

REPUBLICANS: Who’s campaign?

COHEN: The Pres...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Who was the campaign chair?

MANAFORT: *also in orange jumpsuit* Yeah. Me. Also in jail. Heyyyy.

REPUBLICANS: Is anyone NOT in jail???

PARNAS: It was Giuliani.

YOVANOVITCH: Giuliani! That’s the guy who had me fired from my job!

REPUBLICANS: Who are you???

YOVANOVITCH: I was the ambassador to Ukraine.

REPUBLICANS: Wait, you had her fired? Do you work for the government?

GIULIANI: Nope. But I figured no one really follows any rules around here so...

REPUBLICANS: Well who is the ambassador to the European Union??

SONDLAND: *raises hand* It's me. I was also in the roo...

REPUBLICANS: *exasperated* I need a freakin' drink...

 

[redleghunter]

In case you were wondering why they only allow water and milk at the impeachment...


ALL THE WITNESSES: Ok we all agree. This is what happened --

REPUBLICANS: None of you were in the room!

BOLTON: *raises hand* Well I was in the...

REPUBLICANS: Who asked you?! Shut up! You’re a liberal pawn!

BOLTON: Um... I’m actually I’m a lifelong Republican and I was literally Trump’s national security advi...

REPUBLICANS: Shut your mustache! Somebody bring back the first national security advisor.

FLYNN: *in orange jumpsuit* Hey sorry guys I’m in jail lol.

REPUBLICANS: What? Why?

FLYNN: For lying to the FBI about the Russia investigation.

REPUBLICANS: Well what idiot told you to do that?!

FLYNN: The Pres...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! No one believes either of you!

KELLY: *raises hand* I believe them. And I was the Chief of Sta...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Let’s talk to the current chief of staff. Who is he?

MULVANEY: *raises hand* It’s me. Sort of. Well, I'm the acting...

REPUBLICANS: Aw, crud. Never mind.

PARNAS: *raises hand* I was also in the room. In fact, here’s a cell phone video of the President saying that...

REPUBLICANS: Wait, what?! How on Earth did you sneak a cell phone into a meeting with the President?

PARNAS: It was easy! I just walked right in and...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! You’re a criminal!

PARNAS: Correct. So I just walked right in and...

DONALD: I don’t know him.

PARNAS: And here’s 500 pictures of me with the President because we’re BFFs.

REPUBLICANS: Wait... What idiot introduced you to the President??

PARNAS: His personal lawyer.

REPUBLICANS: Cohen???

COHEN: *also in orange jumpsuit* Hey no sorry guys I’m in jail too. Oops.

REPUBLICANS: Why?

COHEN: For campaign finance violations.

REPUBLICANS: Who’s campaign?

COHEN: The Pres...

REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Who was the campaign chair?

MANAFORT: *also in orange jumpsuit* Yeah. Me. Also in jail. Heyyyy.

REPUBLICANS: Is anyone NOT in jail???

PARNAS: It was Giuliani.

YOVANOVITCH: Giuliani! That’s the guy who had me fired from my job!

REPUBLICANS: Who are you???

YOVANOVITCH: I was the ambassador to Ukraine.

REPUBLICANS: Wait, you had her fired? Do you work for the government?

GIULIANI: Nope. But I figured no one really follows any rules around here so...

REPUBLICANS: Well who is the ambassador to the European Union??

SONDLAND: *raises hand* It's me. I was also in the roo...

REPUBLICANS: *exasperated* I need a freakin' drink...

Is this another Adam Schiff production?

 

[TLK Valentine]

Is this another Adam Schiff production?

Nah -- Donald's the go-to guy for slapstick. This is the reason the GOP is terrified of allowing witnesses... they can't possibly distract enough to undo the damage caused if even one of the above people testify.

 

[BobRyan]

Try this thought experiment.

What is the most effective means to convey the fact person A is paraphrasing something person B said?

The answer is, obviously, person A says "I am paraphrasing here..." That is how rational people construct their statements, by honestly stating what they are doing.

Aside from that was anything Schiff claimed during that little speech accurate? Did Trump say it nine times? Did Trump say "I" in regard to a personal favor? Did Trump demand the President of Ukraine either make up or dig up dirt?

The answer to all of those questions is no, Schiff knew it at the time, which renders his comments lies.

very good points in that post.

 

[BobRyan]

Is this another Adam Schiff production?

hmmm ... so you say you have seen that sort of thing before eh?

 

[BobRyan]

That's not the full quote. You're lying by omission. In fact, at this point, i'd say you're doubling down on your previous lie, as I've already corrected you once.

Your quote:

Here is what Adam Schiff said, quote:

"And what is the President’s response — well it reads like a classic organized crime shake down."

"I have a favor I want from you though. And I’m going to say this only seven times, so you better listen good.

Maybe Schiff was just trying to get us not to trust him to give out accurate statements... Anything is possible.

 

[BobRyan]

Yes it was a lie, and he only proffered the "satire" claim some thirty minutes or so later when called out on his rendition by another member of the committee. And it was a stupid lie given the transcript of the phone call had already been released.

Which part was lie -- this part??

Schiff Not quoting anyone but himself:

" Schiff, Sept. 26: It reads like a classic organized crime shakedown. Shorn of its rambling character and in not so many words, this is the essence of what the president communicates. "

Are you saying that part is a lie? Is that where Schiff says "don't believe a word of what I am saying now"??

Or how about this next part.. supposedly quoting the President of the United States

Schiff as-if quoting the President of the United States:
"We’ve been very good to your country, very good. No other country has done as much as we have. But you know what? I don’t see much reciprocity here. I hear what you want."

Are you saying that was a lie or are you thinking that Schiff claimed just then "don't believe a word of this -- I am just making stuff up"???

Was Schiff imagining that the US (We) have been good to Ukraine as opposed to the previous Admin that would not give (or sell) Ukraine leathal defensive weapons ...

Schiff as-if quoting the President of the United States
I have a favor I want from you though. And I’m going to say this only seven times so you better listen good. I want you to make up dirt on my political opponent, understand. Lots of it. On this and on that. ...Trust me.

There is that "trust me" line in Schiff's made up script -- did he forget to add "yes but don't trust me... Adam Schiff... to be telling you the straight truth just now"??

Schiff as-if quoting the President of the United States:
You know what I’m asking. And so I’m only going to say this a few more times. In a few more ways. And by the way, don’t call me again. I’ll call you when you’ve done what I asked.

Is the "dont' call me again until" part -- the "lie" or is that where Schiff says "now this next part is just fake.. the other part is all legit"?? Or is that fake-statement supposed to be where we are encouraged to 'imagine' that the actual script said "I am asking for quid-pro-quo now".?

How much of the imaginary house manager case is in that imaginary reading?

Lacking a "quid-pro-quo" statement in true Biden fashion in that phone call script --- shall we just settle for having to imagine it at the "thought crime" level?

 

[RocksInMyHead]

@BobRyan You really gotta give me the name of your yoga instructor.

 

[BobRyan]

@BobRyan You really gotta give me the name of your yoga instructor.

It's all peace and tranquility here my friend. Because the house managers have already loaded the table with lots of entertainment.

 

[redleghunter]

hmmm ... so you say you have seen that sort of thing before eh?

Yes as this is Kavanaugh 2.0 or Russia 3.0