I am a 31 year old man, married and have 3 children.
My father was a pastor, and my siblings and I went to church every service and event. I struggle greatly with homosexual attractions. Ever since childhood I can remember being drawn to other boys, and girls but mostly boys. I know that scripture is clear about the abomination of homosexuality. I have prayed
and prayed desperately for my Lord to deliver me. In 1999 I gave in to the desires and began a homosexual relationship with one of my guy friends. I figured if God wasn't healing me then I must be destined to stay like this. That life of openness lasted a couple months. I still felt wrong about it. I broke things off and rededicated myself to the Lord.
In mid 2000 I met my soon to be wife and we were married in 2001, had 3 kids and here I am. I told my wife about my sexual struggles and she was willing to love me through it. The feelings and attraction for other men never did go away, or get easier. I was secretly watching gay porn every chance I got. Soon it wasn't enough, i longed for a physical encounter. I had an affair with another man in 2003. I hid it, of course, because I didn't want to upset my "perfect family".
Four weeks ago, I attempted suicide by overdosing on over a dozen bottles of pills. It is completely by GOD's grace I am here and I that I threw up almost all the pills.
While in ICU I confessed my affair and my wife was deeply hurt but very grateful that I was still alive. She forgave me. God has kept me for a purpose and I truly need prayer and accountability from honest christian men that understand my struggles. 
Thank you all, and may the Holy Spirit strengthen you all in this life.
My father was a pastor, and my siblings and I went to church every service and event. I struggle greatly with homosexual attractions. Ever since childhood I can remember being drawn to other boys, and girls but mostly boys. I know that scripture is clear about the abomination of homosexuality. I have prayed
and prayed desperately for my Lord to deliver me. In 1999 I gave in to the desires and began a homosexual relationship with one of my guy friends. I figured if God wasn't healing me then I must be destined to stay like this. That life of openness lasted a couple months. I still felt wrong about it. I broke things off and rededicated myself to the Lord. In mid 2000 I met my soon to be wife and we were married in 2001, had 3 kids and here I am. I told my wife about my sexual struggles and she was willing to love me through it. The feelings and attraction for other men never did go away, or get easier. I was secretly watching gay porn every chance I got. Soon it wasn't enough, i longed for a physical encounter. I had an affair with another man in 2003. I hid it, of course, because I didn't want to upset my "perfect family".
Four weeks ago, I attempted suicide by overdosing on over a dozen bottles of pills. It is completely by GOD's grace I am here and I that I threw up almost all the pills.
While in ICU I confessed my affair and my wife was deeply hurt but very grateful that I was still alive. She forgave me. God has kept me for a purpose and I truly need prayer and accountability from honest christian men that understand my struggles. Thank you all, and may the Holy Spirit strengthen you all in this life.
