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God failed me

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by imm, Jun 8, 2007.

  1. imm

    imm New Member

    God failed me.

    I am finally willing to admit it that God failed me. I try to dwell on the song that “he has promised he will never fail” but I realize now that there is no denying it, God failed me.

    I look at people around me, in church, at work, my family, everywhere, somehow they seem to have grasped the meaning of life, they go to work, they have friends, they come to church, and they are content. They have balanced their desire and their needs with the will of God. I wish I could to that too; my desire is to do the will of God, my need is to know him more, my hope is for a relationship with him, somehow though, I hang, unbalanced.

    I know what I should do though; I have heard it said a million, no, billion, times. “Fast and pray”, “God’s time is the best”, “he is always there”, and my favorite, “he loves you, always, no matter what”. I believe all of that, I really do, otherwise I would have given up long ago. Actually, I confess, I have given up before but I came back. I came back and now, it hurts even more. It hurts because I can’t give up again, I read my bible and I see what the lord did for Abraham, for Isaac, for Jacob, for Job, for Daniel, for Esther, for David, For Ruth, For Elijah, for those three guys he saved from the furnace, for Jonah. I read the book of Lamentations and I know hope is all I have left, that hasn’t failed me. So I fast, and I pray, and I cry, oh how I sob, I go to church everyday of the week, I go for night vigils, I go for Christian concerts, I listen to Christian music, I have a song for every unfortunate situation, I am rich in Christ I tell myself, I have strength that God has given me, I am here today because of God’s grace. I dwell on the bible passages “ask and ye shall receive”, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you”, “Oh that you would bless me oh lord and increase my territory”, “Only by the grace of God are we saved”, need I continue?

    I wish all that was wrong were just the physical things, the material things. If I didn’t get into the medical school of my choice, if I didn’t have a job, if I didn’t have a family, if I didn’t have money, or food to eat, or a room I can call home, if I didn’t have any of these, then I could join other people suffering and I could really then have faith that God’s plan is the best. But that’s not it. Mine is spiritual, or is it? I try to figure out a way to explain it, but I know, oh how I have learnt, that this, this can only be understood by God. I have gone to deliverance ministers to no avail. I ask the ever evasive question, Lord, why me? I would give everything up in a heartbeat, everything, my family, my job, medical school, my friends, anything you want God, anything. I made pledges, I even redeemed them, but my miracle, my testimonies, still yet to come. Was it too much to ask, how can it be? Who else can I turn to?

    I know God uses trials to bring us closer to him, I welcome them. If the result of trials is a closer relationship with God, then why does it seem that my only option is to cop out? I have run out of prayers, I have run out of Shepard, my only request now is quite simple. It involves nothing, it requires nothing, and no one gets hurt, not even me.
    I wake up every morning and go to bed at night with the same mustard seed faith. This mustard seed gives me faith just enough to hope and hope enough to hurt. Please save me... or not.
  2. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    In all this, I don't think God failed you. You just sound like you're depressed. I'm not sure what else to tell you, really.
  3. Wordgazer

    Wordgazer Member

    imm, I'm not sure what your post is getting at. In what way has God failed you? It sounds as though He has blessed you with a good job and family and so on.

    I remember that Paul had an unspecified "thorn in the flesh" which he prayed that God would remove, and God would not do so because the thorn caused Paul to rely on God. "My power is perfected in weakness," God said. Could it be that whatever this is, is just such a "thorn" for you? In that case, I believe you can rely on God's power daily to strengthen and sustain you through it.

    There may, of course, be other reasons why a particular trial or problem doesn't go away. Sometimes we are doing things ourselves that perpetuate the problem. Sometimes God wants us to take particular steps to combat the problem, which we are not taking. Without more information, it's hard to give you more encouragement than this. My heart goes out to you, though.
  4. malckiah

    malckiah Jesus Christ is my God and King!

    Hello friend, i am sorry that you are having such a struggle, indeed there is nothing i can do for you.

    But this reminds me of a story.....
    You see in the early 1900's there was a guy who hit jackpot in Colorado, he found one of the largest gold belts ever......for years he mined it and purchased the very best mining machinery available to man back then.....he spent so much on his living and on mining stuff that he was running about even. Well one day he came to the end of the gold in that belt.

    He had spent so much moey that not only was he out of gold, but out of funds all together.......he was indeed at the end of his road.

    Then because he needed money so badly he sold the property and all the mining machinery for little to nothing.
    The fellow who bought it became one of the richest men in the world, he is still known because his property is still considered one of the largest gold belt to this day.

    he was later asked how or where he mined that he was able to find all that gold.......

    he said.....i only had to dig 3 feet farther than the guy that sold it to him.........three feet farther.....that's it!

    how must it have felt to be that guy that lost out on so much......yowsa!
    But think of how much more you would be missing out on if you quit now!

    God knows all things, He knows our limits.....perhaps it is for this purpose....perhaps you need to go just 3 feet farther!

    God Bless you my brother! God has not failed you! He just has really big plans for you! :thumbsup:
  5. Johnnz

    Johnnz Senior Veteran Supporter

    Somewhere you and good, healthy Christian teaching have not met each other.

    You might like to go to www.perichoresis.org. and follow the audio link to find a series of 4 talks by Baxter Cruger :The Great Dance lectures. He gives a very interesting and life giving perspective on our Christian life.

    Bless you for your sincerity and devotion.

  6. koban4max

    koban4max Senior Veteran

    Unless you can prove that by explaining that statement, I believe what you just stated is a failure. Sorry.
  7. wonderwaleye

    wonderwaleye Well-Known Member

    Dear Imm

    Well now I know every detail of what you are doing for YOURSELF!!! But i seemed to have missed what your doing to serve GOD.

    It is one thing to learn about something but it's a TOTAL WASTE if it's not put into ACTION.

    When you respond to this post PLEASE tell me what you are doing to help someone that needs help. Maybe then GOD will hear you.


    “ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components which are: hearing, accepting, and then " ACTING " upon that which you have accepted. X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O ( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
  8. koban4max

    koban4max Senior Veteran

    Hey there. You know..just recently I've been disqualified by law enforcement for a career. I don't know what I want to do..and I haven't been contented for long time. I don't have anything in this world beside my music studio. I wasted so much time doing nothing and I feel God failed me too. How am I so content about my situation, huh? I always wonder what I'm suppose to do with my life...still searching....

    Hey, you should appreciate what GOd already given you in life...and your salvation.
  9. Praising4eva

    Praising4eva Senior Member

    I think you'll find, when you look around and everyone seems to have it so together, that you are just not aware of their struggles. Everyone struggles - each one of us has struggles going on. You just might not see it.

    I'm working in the church doing counselling and believe me, I see clients coming in from outside who box me as 'having it all together'. I'm working in a church, I'm giving out to others and helping them through stuff, I'm on the worship team ... I know how it might look to those who don't know where I've come from and who don't know me well. Let me assure you, those in leadership positions struggle and don't feel like they have it all together in spite of appearances!

    In a way, I do understand where you are coming from. I was there for many years where I wanted to have the faith I saw others around me having. But as willing as I was, I just couldn't seem to have that faith. I know now that one thing I was lacking was the ability to surrender. Once I learned that, I realised that I was actually keeping God at a 'safe' distance ... not really letting him in, only as far as I felt was comfortable for me. Maybe ask him to show you where the barriers are?
  10. FenderElctrc

    FenderElctrc JESUS IS AWESOME!!

    Stop looking at people and wishing you had what they had. Leave all of your sins and turn your heart to the Lord. Have faith. Don't say God failed you, He doesn't fail us. Put all of your trust into the Lord Our God. By saying that God doesn't answer your prayers or He doesn't do what He says or anything like that, that just shows that you don't have faith. Never give up. If you have faith and you do not doubt in your heart, you will have the things that you ask for. (Mark 11:22-24)
  11. wonderwaleye

    wonderwaleye Well-Known Member

    The 'L I T T L E ' T hings.

    As you might know, the head of a company survived
    9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

    Another fellow was alive because it was
    His turn to bring donuts.

    One woman was late because her
    Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

    One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
    Because of an auto accident.

    One of them
    Missed his bus.

    One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
    Time to change.

    Car wouldn't start.

    One went back to
    Answer the telephone

    One had a
    Child that dawdled
    And didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

    One couldn't

    Get a taxi.

    The one that struck me was the man
    Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
    Took the various means to get to work
    But before he got there, he developed

    a blister on his foot.

    He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
    That is why he is alive today.

    Now when I am
    Stuck in traffic ,
    Miss an elevator,
    Turn back to answer a ringing telephone...
    All the little things that annoy me.
    I think to myself,
    This is exactly where

    God wants me to be
    At this very moment..

    Next time your morning seems to be
    Going wrong,

    The children are slow getting dressed,
    You can't seem to find the car keys,
    You hit every traffic light,
    Don't get mad or frustrated; It
    May be just that
    God is at work watching over you.

    May God continue to bless you
    With all those annoying little things
    And may you remember their possible purpose.


    “ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components
    which are: hearing, accepting, and then " ACTING " upon that which you have accepted.

    X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O ( click on the x and drag to the O )
    ( then see who is with you ) steven
  12. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    Not by God. He is not a happy pill.
  13. Infinite777

    Infinite777 Junior Member

    I think it might help if you told everyone what the situation is. It could be any number of things, and anything beyond general expected advice greatly varies depending on the individual circumstance.
  14. The Princess Bride

    The Princess Bride Legend Supporter

    God didnt fail you.

    Your expectations and preconcieved notions of who He is and what you want from Him is what failed you. :)
  15. 1Newcreation

    1Newcreation Veteran


    Steven, This is brilliant, I love it. Thank you so much.

    I also agree with your previous post aswell.

    IMM, Going to church services every day is all well and good, but is it necessarily serving God? What are you doing to help others and telling others about Jesus Christ and salvation found only through Him. When we turn away from ourselves and look towards helping others, we may find there is a purpose for our life and actually enjoy it! Many of us ask God to bless us, but you know what... we can bless Him, we can ask God how can I bless you today Lord?

    I think it is important to remind ourselves of why did Jesus die for us? Why did He die for you, what are you saved from? Are you actually saved? Have you repented from sin and made Jesus Lord of your life? Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father, Get to know Him and you will know God, and I think then the doubts you are having and your questions will be dispelled and you will have joy and reassurance of your salvation.

    1Corinthians 10:31
    "So whether we eat or drink, whatever we do, do it all for the Glory of God"

    :) 1newcreation
  16. imm

    imm New Member


    I wish I could explain, if I could, I would have and if you read my past posts, you would probably have an idea. basically, at this moment and constantly, the devil (could it be anything else?) is on me physically and hitting me. (If I lost you here, that’s fine). I have gone to various deliverance ministers (no doubting their authenticity) to no avail. What else go I possibly do? I have fasted and prayed, and I’m at my wits end. I have no more prayer requests but for God to take my life, I guess even that is too much to ask.

    Serve God? I do that everyday, I'm a worker in church, I don't know how else to serve him, I prayed and asked, I prayed for patience, I prayed for knowledge, wisdom, what else can I pray for?

    Depressed? I have taken every depression pill available at the highest recommended doses, nothing has worked.

    I am reaching out cos I don't know what else to do, every time I read my bible is a slap in the face. The only thing stopping me from taking my life is my family. I am not a coward but I am not strong either, the strength I have, I believe God gave me, but I want to give up, and I guess I have stopped looking for signs that tell me not too.
  17. koban4max

    koban4max Senior Veteran

    You should of taken a red pill instead of the blue. Struggling in Reality sucks...hmm I rather live in dream world where God is always there.
  18. Wordgazer

    Wordgazer Member

    I did go back and look up your earlier posts and reviewed some of the history of this thing, IMM. I really feel for you.

    My feeling is that perhaps anti-depressants aren't the correct medication-- but if you're doing everything right spiritually, and receiving no help, I think the problem may very likely be medical after all. Perhaps it's not just one medical problem, but a combination of several-- one affecting your waking hours, and one your sleeping hours. The two are probably connected in some way-- but if spiritual solutions aren't working, then rather than God having failed you, God may wish you to seek further medical help-- a specialist of some kind. A diagnostic psychiatrist would be my best guess. And no, I'm NOT saying you're crazy or mentally imbalanced. I just think there is a probably a chemical or hormonal or other situation that needs to be addressed.

    My prayers are with you for answers.
  19. Cheyenee

    Cheyenee New Member


    I believe that it is OK to be angry at God. If he is to be our best friend, why can't we? Don't you think God understands that we hurt, mistrust, lack faith, get angry...etc. i would like to share with you a word that God has given me:
    My love and friendship are so simple, yet everyone finds it as hard as threading a string through the eye of a needle. At that one moment, when your focus comes into play, the whole becomes larger, like you are looking at the needle through a magnifying glass, and the tread goes right through. Sometimes with out knowing, you thread the needle right away. Yet, there are other times that you think you have gotten the thread through to find that you keep missing the eye. Why do you find it so hard to find my friendship?
    You try so hard to thread me into this small hole that you see. You get so frustrated, you try and try again, but you keep missing. You become so derailed at times you curse the needle for being so small and your eyes for not seeing that clear. Finally with a steady hand, a peaceful breath, your eyes focus on the eye of the needle and then clearly you can see how the thread can go right through. Once you have threaded the needle, you can sew anything. Create beautiful tapestries, or patch up holes. The more you thread a needle the easier it is to accomplish the next time you need to sew something.
    How simple then is my friendship? Like any true friend, a relationship must be based on trust and love. I know you and every little bit about you. I know how many times you have been disappointed, crushed, and have had your feelings completely annihilated by those who were close to you.
    Do you not think I know how hard it is to trust in me? You can not physically see me or touch me, but I swear to you, I am real. I am physically around you. Can you feel me? I am unlike any friend you have ever had, that is why it is so hard for you to fathom who I am to you. Just reach out – touch me – I am right in front of you. Maybe you just want to talk about your day. Oh, how I long to hear about your laughter. Unlike you think, I am not only here for your tears. I love your smile. I enjoy the sound in your voice when your heart is filled with the joy of an answered prayer. I long to be your friend.
    When I was on earth, so many people rejected me. They mocked me, and planned my death behind my back. Talk about deceit from a loved one! My most beloved Peter denied my name three times the night I was sent away to be put to death. The night of my betrayal, I asked my dearest friends to sit with me for an hour while I prayed to watch over me, and they all fell asleep.
    You see beloved, I know about rejection, and mistrust. But truly I say to you, I am of true love. At my darkest, loneliest hours, I was never alone. My father, god almighty was always with me.
  20. Cheyenee

    Cheyenee New Member

    I understand, imm. I went through not just a storm, but 15 years of constant storm after storm...never letting up but for a moment so that I could barley catch my breath. I held my faith for so long. i looked to Christ to be my rock through it all. then, at the end, I said what you are saying now. God, I can't anymore. i don't even know if i am really hearing you. I don't know if you are even real. Yet, I pushed through. The greater the trial, the greater the reward.
    I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I am now. God IS faithful...I am a testimony to that! If it can happen to me, why can't it happen to you. I am no one special. None of us are. When I finally realized that it has nothing to do with me, then that is when i got it. I know we all say this, we all now the right scriptures and inspirational "pick me ups" one would say. But, when we are all alone, one on one with God, that is when we need to be truthful, not to Him, but to ourselves.

    By the way, I am signing with a record label to produce my first CD and book. I dream I have had since i was 4 years old. I am not 33 and never really thought it would happen. I started to doubt if i ever really herd God. If He can do it for me, again I ask, what makes you any different?