Give "Bad" Advice (3)

brinny

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Make yerself sneeze with a bubble coming from yer nostril, and be oblivious to it and keep talking to them in nonsensical phrases.

How do i get the tv news station to switch anchors?
 
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Chesterton

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding
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Get rid of that baby and make a better one with CRISPR so that it's genetically engineered to be able to speak when it's one week old, then you'll have a baby that can snitch.

How can I know if my tap water is safe?
 
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public hermit

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Cheetos and vodka.

What can I put on my Christmas tree to make it unique?

One shotgun shell. You can tell folks it's a cartridge in a bare tree.

I've been putting my pants on one leg at a time. Is there a better way?
 
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public hermit

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Probably the best thing to do is frame your question in such a way that it allows for one to give bad advice. Oh wait, that's good advice. Sorry.

I just realized I have ten toes but don't seem to use them all. Any advice for using all my toes?
 
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LovebirdsFlying

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Threaten to prune them if they don't pull their load. Works for tree branches.

Speaking of trees, how can I make my Japanese Maple happy?
 
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