Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[LaSorcia]

Flat rate. Make sure it's a reduced rate too. If you run your business at a loss, people will flock to the low prices.

How early is too early to wake up?

 

[MrNoodle]

What colour should I paint my house?

I'd do the Tom Green and go plaid!

Better yet never sleep!

How early is too early to wake up LaSorcia?

 

[lucypevensie]

It's never too early to wake up LaSorcia!

How can I get out of a social engagement I don't want to participate in?

 

[LaSorcia]

Send me as your ambassador. I tend to drink too much and have the manners of a Visigoth, but that's okay, right?

What should I bring in my picnic basket?

 

[MrNoodle]

Assault riffles and children's year books

who should I say is calling?

 

[LaSorcia]

I'm not telling you anything until you realize your grammatical error in that sentence.

Is there anything fun to do at an airport?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I find wearing robes, growing your beard, speaking in guttural tones, and placing random ticking parcells at various locations, fairly fun.

How can I get off the no-fly list?

 

[lucypevensie]

It's as simple as changing your name, duh.

I was thinking of changing my first name. Got any good suggestions for names?

 

[LaSorcia]

How about Willdo?

I was actually considering changing my name to an unpronounceable symbol.

 

[lucypevensie]

That would be fun. People can just call you whatever they feel like at that moment.

My husband has trouble remembering names. Any good suggestions how he can beat this embarrassing problem?

 

[MrNoodle]

I was actually considering changing my name to an unpronounceable symbol.

You should, may I suggest Infj.

If you change your name to an unpronounceable symbol, would you consider writing a song called Purple Pain?

 

[MrNoodle]

That would be fun. People can just call you whatever they feel like at that moment.

My husband has trouble remembering names. Any good suggestions how he can beat this embarrassing problem?

Have him sit in a chair and ponder the problem while a train is coming at a right angle to your position, on the second Tuesday of the new year, in the winter time, while its snowing, and he is drinking a mixed drink, with an umbrella, while a chimp is watching you.

Would ever consider doing something absurdly over defined in hopes of it solving a personal problem?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

My advice, the more overly defined and minutely detailed, the less chance something might go wrong. Don't allow any thought from anyone you work with. They must just be cogs doing one defined thing that they cannot deviate from under any circumstances.

How can I get my son to bed early?

 

[Divide]

How can I get my son to bed early?

You go to bed early too.

Where does the red wire go?

 

[Divide]

Flat rate. Make sure it's a reduced rate too. If you run your business at a loss, people will flock to the low prices.

I'll get right on that! LOLOLOL

Ok but should I also charge a $350. Service call?

 

[LaSorcia]

Sure, but don't tell them that until after your fix their problem.

Should I climb that tree to pick the apples or let them fall to the ground first?

 

[MrNoodle]

climb the tree, but make sure you grease up before you climb

Did you check the mail box?

 

[LaSorcia]

Messing with someone else's mail is a federal crime. So I suggest you check the mail for your whole neighbourhood.

What goes best with chicken? As a side dish that is.

 

[MrNoodle]

roast fingers, fried toes, broiled small children, well marbled neighbors flame grilled
- its Halloween time after all!

How much stuff will fit in the attic?

 

[LaSorcia]

Everything will fit. There's a bag of holding up there.

Should I attempt to do surgery on myself? It looks easy on this youtube video.