Give "Bad" Advice (2)

[lucypevensie]

Whoopsie! apologies.

We should send PMs and emails to all CF members and let everyone know that this thread is open again.

Eat out after church tomorrow or come home and eat leftovers?

 

[imoss]

Do both plus bring some crispy bacon in your purse to melt in your mouth during the service.

My dog needs grooming and I'm not aloud to drive for weeks... Suggestions?

 

[Matthew-59]

We should send PMs and emails to all CF members and let everyone know that this thread is open again.

Hey! That's a great idea! That's not bad advice at all.

My dog needs grooming and I'm not allowed to drive for weeks... Suggestions?

Since most dogs just lick themselves for grooming, you could lick your dog to help out with that. It will save both money and time, and you won't have to drive anywhere because this can be done right at home.

I just bought me-self a new paper shredder. What can I shred in it?

 

[lucypevensie]

Those shredders work great for making salads. Slide some lettuce leaves through there, add whatever else you like. Is making carrot sticks hard for you? Slide 'em on though there and hey, instant carrot sticks!

What can I do with the single teaspoon of peanut butter left in the jar?

 

[imoss]

Put it under the cushion of the couch and water it every day to produce a peanut butter plant.

I have a stomach ache.

 

[lucypevensie]

Have yourself a nice big bowl of chocolate ice cream with caramel and hot fudge sauce. This will have a comforting effect on your system. Next wash it all down with a large glass of orange juice because you need your vitamin C.

What should I do with this yard of white cotton fabric with blue and green stripes?

 

[Matthew-59]

Sew it all together into a flag and start your own country.
If you confiscate Wisconsin, you could call it "The United State of Lucy".

Any good cold/flu remedies?

 

[lucypevensie]

Blow your nose into a tissue and "accidentally" drop it on the floor of a public place. The person who picks up the tissue will then receive the virus. You will feel better almost instantly.

My entire king size bed is covered in several inches of clean laundry to fold and I feel overwhelmed. Help!

 

[imoss]

Grab the blanket and tightly roll it and fasten it with a bungie cord. You'll be able to fit it in the closet or crawl space easily. Or you could kidnap your mail delivery person have him do it at gunpoint then bungie him and roll him in a blanket and hell easily fit in the closet/crawl space for easy retreaval next laundry day.

Trying to nap and all 3 phones keep ringing I can't shut them off in case it's the school.

 

[Matthew-59]

Hmmm... That's a dilemma. Prob'ly you should call the school every 15 minutes just to see if it was them who called you, or ask if they wanted to call you. As long as you have them on the phone, you could ask what is on the lunch menu for tomorrow. If they're eating something that sounds better than what you were gonna make at home, go in and have lunch there instead. After lunch you could always go to the kindergarten area and take a nap on one of those little mats they have. Oh... and of course bring along your cell phone so you can keep up the 15 minute interval calling spree.

I need to spice up my smoothies so they taste better. Any ideas?

 

[lucypevensie]

You say spice. What's more spicy than cumin? Nothing really. Add a teaspoon and you will surely find your smoothies more spicy.

Ugh! I can't get my dog to stop stealing shoes!!!

 

[imoss]

fill your shoes with vodka. An excellent dog deterrent.

To add insult to injury I have a throbbing Canker sore under my teeth on my jaw... help!

 

[lucypevensie]

Give it a good reason to throb. Drop a little Tabasco on it.

My driveway is all icy.

 

[imoss]

Take apart the duct work on your furnace and re route the warm air using dryer flex hose. You may have to steal the neighbors holesaw for duct access. Don't return the saw just in case you need to melt the sidewalks along the house.

My dog will b fixed next Wednesday. I'm worried her cone won't fit out her dog door.

 

[lucypevensie]

Since she wont be able to go outside for several days or maybe weeks, you will have to buy her one of those wee wee turf pads you see on late night infomercials.

What should I buy from amazon to bring my purchase up to $25 so I can get free shipping?

 

[forest flower]

A car and a shock prank pen

How can I get out of homework?

 

[forest flower]

A car and/or shock prank pen

how can I get out of homework?

 

[Matthew-59]

Leave home, and go shopping.

Any help for an upset stomach?

 

[forest flower]

Milk and rocks

can you help me not burn the water?

 

[lucypevensie]

Mix your water with a little engine coolant.

Ceylon cinnamon. Where can I get some?