Girlfriend without faith

[BobberBuilder]

Hello,
I'm currently a junior in Highschool with a wonderful girlfriend of almost 7 months. I play varsity wrestling, am a member of the International Baccalaureate program, avid mechanic, and somewhat of a romantic. I have been dating a girl that is 1 year younger than me and have been quite content. We don't do anything of a sinful nature (although at times we do get carried away). We have never had sex, and so on. My deepest concern is that she doesn't have much if any faith in Jesus Christ. We have briefly discussed religion before. She is not an atheist as she believes that there is a god. Our last discussion revealed that she has some atheists in her family. Her best friend is a devout Hindu, and I, her boyfriend, am a devout Methodist.

She doesn't drink, smoke, fornicate, or any other things that might be sinful, in fact I was her first boyfriend. I had made some stupid decisions in the past and she trusted me that I knew that to fornicate was wrong. I don't believe that she is of a strong faith if any in Jesus. I don't know if I should try and help her see, or break up and remain friends. I am confused, please help.

 

[meredithraven]

At this point all I can say is to have a serious conversation about Jesus with her.
But in the future, I would not get involved with a non-believer. The way I see it is that dating is how you find your husband/wife. How horrible would it be if you found the love of your life by dating and wanted to marry them, and they had no faith? You couldn't do it. You couldn't have God's blessing in your marriage, you would not have a partner in Christ, and your children would not be brought up with the Lord.

 

[zmon49]

My and my ex broke up for this reason but we were also very sinful(; does t really matter if you marry a non believer? Marriage is for love if you love someone you shouldn't let anything stop you from being together.

 

[PaxThroughX]

At this point all I can say is to have a serious conversation about Jesus with her.
But in the future, I would not get involved with a non-believer. The way I see it is that dating is how you find your husband/wife. How horrible would it be if you found the love of your life by dating and wanted to marry them, and they had no faith? You couldn't do it. You couldn't have God's blessing in your marriage, you would not have a partner in Christ, and your children would not be brought up with the Lord.

I hae the same problem. How can i just bring up this conversation?

 

[Chris Blanks]

You need to learn to tolerate other people's religious belief or lack thereof. Everyone is entitled to believe whatever they want to believe, it is their right as a human being and something like that should never get in the way of love. If you truly loved a person, their personal beliefs shouldn't matter.
Just a tangent, going against what meredithraven said, let your children develop their own beliefs and try not to force yours upon them.

 

[HarborOrange]

Why does it matter that you're a wrestler? I'm just curious why you bothered to include that... lol.

 

[BeforeTheSanhedrin]

Paul said the child of a blessed person and someone who isn't blessed is blessed. Kind of like how God would spare an entire city if there are only a few who believe. Also, if you broke up with someone because you couldn't love them like that if they weren't Christians, do you think they would have a good view of the faith after that?

 

[PaxThroughX]

Paul said the child of a blessed person and someone who isn't blessed is blessed. Kind of like how God would spare an entire city if there are only a few who believe. Also, if you broke up with someone because you couldn't love them like that if they weren't Christians, do you think they would have a good view of the faith after that?

dude that makes so much sense, but still how can you keep dating someone knowing they dont believe in God and can at any moment die ? How are you suppose to help them, i mean i dont want someone i loved goin to hell

 

[Willbyr]

At camp last April, a leader compared dating a non-Christian to playing with fire: some people can do it and they're fine, but it's better to be safe and not get hurt or have trouble due to their lack of/different faith. She isn't able to pray with you and you can't grow closer to Gd together, and I feel that things like that should be an important part of a relationship. You can still honour Gd with your love and commitment to her, though -- and who knows, maybe someday she'll come to Jesus, perhaps even due to you.

If you really love her and think your relationship with Gd is strong enough that it won't get pushed out by your relationship with your girlfriend, then at this point I would suggest asking Gd for an opportunity to speak with her about religion, giving a time you can share your concerns with her. To me, it seems like making sure she understands how important Jesus is to you is the first step here. Good luck!

 

[DaneaFL]

This is so sad... I see religion causing people so much pain all the time. People are always ruining their lives and losing their families and relationships over some old book.

I tell ya, if anything was going to convert me into one of those militant "evangelical atheists" it's hearing about all the pain and suffering caused by religious dogma.

Sometimes I just want to scream in their faces "IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF NONSENSE!"

There's no such thing as hell or even an afterlife as far as we know so stop worrying about your girlfriend's.

Just enjoy your life and your time with her if you truly love her. Oh and, in my opinion, you can fornicate all you want. It's ridiculous that religion wants us to fight against our own genetics and biology. Just be safe when you do it... and never do it when you are intoxicated.

You'll be a lot happier and mentally healthier if you don't let ancient religious dogma affect how you live your life today.

 

[PaxThroughX]

This is so sad... I see religion causing people so much pain all the time. People are always ruining their lives and losing their families and relationships over some old book.

I tell ya, if anything was going to convert me into one of those militant "evangelical atheists" it's hearing about all the pain and suffering caused by religious dogma.

Sometimes I just want to scream in their faces "IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF NONSENSE!"

There's no such thing as hell or even an afterlife as far as we know so stop worrying about your girlfriend's.

Just enjoy your life and your time with her if you truly love her. Oh and, in my opinion, you can fornicate all you want. It's ridiculous that religion wants us to fight against our own genetics and biology. Just be safe when you do it... and never do it when you are intoxicated.

You'll be a lot happier and mentally healthier if you don't let ancient religious dogma affect how you live your life today.

Oh gosh, I feel very sorry for you, for anyone in particular who had encoutered religious people. See there is a difference, religious or spiritual. People get hurt because of religious people and end up finding somethin that doesnt make sense to them in the bible and use it to supply a "logical" answer to their belief or disbelief. Dont get me wrong, I do not force my beliefs on anyone, because its there choose in the matter. I respect people who have different beliefs than me, but ones i cannot stand is the religious who run around with their heads cut off, God help us all.....

 

[ChristianT]

I agree with Willbyr, if your faith can handle it, and you truly like her, pursue a healthy relationship with her, but also let your concerns and beliefs be known to her with gentleness and respect. Otherwise, and only with a really good reason (i.e. you don't really like her), then don't. There's nothing in the Bible restricting or regulating dating besides moral purity and that it is ultimately beneficial to marry someone of the same faith (tis only logical, you would argue about theologies and unless you both could keep sound minds and open hearts, it would lead to an unhealthy relationship).

If you believe it is really important (which I could understand and agree with), then pray about it; no one better to go to than your Father in heaven.

 

[Barricade24]

I would certianlly try to tell her about Jesus. Perhaps take her to your Church or tell her about your faith. Who knows, maybe she will find faith too.

 

[DaneaFL]

Oh gosh, I feel very sorry for you, for anyone in particular who had encoutered religious people. See there is a difference, religious or spiritual. People get hurt because of religious people and end up finding somethin that doesnt make sense to them in the bible and use it to supply a "logical" answer to their belief or disbelief. Dont get me wrong, I do not force my beliefs on anyone, because its there choose in the matter. I respect people who have different beliefs than me, but ones i cannot stand is the religious who run around with their heads cut off, God help us all.....

I've yet to understand what the difference between "religious" and "spiritual" is.

They seem like useless buzz-words to me...

Do you not believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God which you should try your best to follow?

Or do you objectively decide for yourself what is right and wrong by looking at the real-world consequences of certain actions and then developing a moral code based on what causes the least amount of harm to people?

If the later is what "spiritual" means then I'm a very SPIRITUAL atheist!

 

[HarborOrange]

I've yet to understand what the difference between "religious" and "spiritual" is.

They seem like useless buzz-words to me...

Do you not believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God which you should try your best to follow?

Or do you objectively decide for yourself what is right and wrong by looking at the real-world consequences of certain actions and then developing a moral code based on what causes the least amount of harm to people?

If the later is what "spiritual" means then I'm a very SPIRITUAL atheist!

Well, Christians will say that the Bible is the infallible Word of G-d, and they claim to try their best to follow it.


But in reality, they only follow half of it, and even then rely on commentaries by some pinheaded theologian to make sense of the New Testament... I don't really blame them, it's hard to describe the end of a book when you don't even recognize its beginning as valid.

 

[DaneaFL]

Well, Christians will say that the Bible is the infallible Word of G-d, and they claim to try their best to follow it.


But in reality, they only follow half of it, and even then rely on commentaries by some pinheaded theologian to make sense of the New Testament... I don't really blame them, it's hard to describe the end of a book when you don't even recognize its beginning as valid.

From where I'm at it looks like the book is full of useless fairy tales from beginning to end.

However, if you have some fool-proof way of objectively determining which of the various conflicting manuscripts are the actual words of God then I will start following those parts.

Though I must say I prefer the new testament to the old... Too much incest, pedophilia, rape, torture, death, and war in the old part.

 

[HarborOrange]

From where I'm at it looks like the book is full of useless fairy tales from beginning to end.

However, if you have some fool-proof way of objectively determining which of the various conflicting manuscripts are the actual words of God then I will start following those parts.

Though I must say I prefer the new testament to the old... Too much incest, pedophilia, rape, torture, death, and war in the old part.

You know, none of the manuscripts contradict or conflict each other if you understand the Torah in the first place. It's all been twisted and ripped to shreds by the church that it's barely even what it was meant to be, sadly. I remember when I used to be a Christian, and I started to realize all of this, I was so bitter, and stopped believing everything for awhile. I mean, I was a mess. But, it kinda fell into place in the end. Regardless, I see your points, as I was in the same position. I am not going to try and convert you whatsoever, as we are all our own person, and we come to God (or a presumed lack thereof depending on your set of beliefs) on our own terms and in our own ways. I do believe the way I follow to be right. And I hope more people will start to see that someday, because this walk is a really lonely one.
I do think the books of Enoch and Jasher (the actual book, not the Mormonized version) should have been included. The Bible as we know it was organized by Pagan men, keep in mind, so it very likely is missing things. I do know for a fact that certain words and such have been changed by man in the Scriptures that exist today, including the original Hebrew and Greek manuscripts. God has given us his Word, but it was up to man to keep it. Instead, we chose to crucify it (literally and figuratively). So, it's really our doing in the end that we're in the mess we're in.

Also, that's life. Man, I know so many girls that have been raped, and it breaks my heart... three of my friends have died horribly violent deaths (two car accidents and one fell off of a cliff). My relatives suffer deformities, and my girlfriend was abused and used, and suffers breakdowns because of it. This Amanda Todd girl was destroyed by (according to Anonymous) a 32 year old man in Canada, a pedophile. In my city, Denver, a 10 year old girl was abducted, murdered, dismembered, and found in a field. That Aurora theater massacre was 10 miles from my home. I've talked many people out of suicide and through depression... I know this all first-hand, and on a personal level most of the time... The Old Testament, as often painful as it is to read, is what mankind is- filth. You may see it as a fairy tale, and so be it. I see it as an embodiment of what we have become. After all, according to the Hebrew mindset, everything cycles. That's why we see constant shifts in power that often occur in the same patterns, weather cycles, everything. God works in cycles, not on this Greek linear thought pattern that we have conjured up and adopted. What we are seeing now in America, and society as a whole, is a shift in power, and it is high time for it to occur; according to history at least.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. It's been a long night for me.

Have a nice day.

 

[DaneaFL]

You know, none of the manuscripts contradict or conflict each other if you understand the Torah in the first place.

I understand that you must have really good reasons for believing in your interpretation but you still haven't really explained to me how you got there.

If understanding the Bible like you do will require me to spend years in deep study of the oldest known Biblical texts then I think it's kind of pointless.

For one thing, as you know, there are very few original manuscripts left intact; and you've seen the evidence of how the scriptures have been changed, deleted from, and added to over the years by politically motivated people.

How then can you know that any of what you are reading, let alone your specific interpretation of it, is even true at all?

I asked if there was some type of fool-proof, objectively verifiable method to determine which parts of all the various biblical texts are actually the true words of God.

It seems like everyone just picks and chooses whatever parts they FEEL are right... That's not a very sound, scientific method if you ask me.

Do you know what happens if you put a dozen theologians in a room together? None of them will agree on ANYTHING! WHY? Because they have all arrived at their various conclusions simply by subjectively interpreting the scriptures.

However, you put a dozen scientists in a room together and most of them will agree with each other about most everything! WHY? Because they all arrived at their conclusions by using objectively verifiable methods of inquiry that rely only on evidence and testing.

Personally I'll believe anything that you can show me to be true. So far the scientists have a way better track record when it comes to doing that than the theologians.

 

[PaxThroughX]

Well, Christians will say that the Bible is the infallible Word of G-d, and they claim to try their best to follow it.


But in reality, they only follow half of it, and even then rely on commentaries by some pinheaded theologian to make sense of the New Testament... I don't really blame them, it's hard to describe the end of a book when you don't even recognize its beginning as valid.

Thats not true, atleast for me.

(NKJV) Galations 4:3-5 Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Hebrews 7:11-12: Therefore, if perfection were through the Levitical priesthood (for under it the people received the law), what further need was there that another priest should rise according to the order of Melchizedek, and not be called according to the order of Aaron? For the priesthood being changed, of necessity there is also a change of the law.

The old testament was bascially symbolic for Christ. Plus after the Israelites came out of Egypt they need a law to follow. thats where the dont eat a pig, kill someone if they do this... stuff comes to play. They needed a law to follow in order to govenor themselves. However, Jesus came into the world so that we dont have to be under the law anymore.

 

[PaxThroughX]

I've yet to understand what the difference between "religious" and "spiritual" is.

They seem like useless buzz-words to me...

Do you not believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God which you should try your best to follow?

Or do you objectively decide for yourself what is right and wrong by looking at the real-world consequences of certain actions and then developing a moral code based on what causes the least amount of harm to people?

If the later is what "spiritual" means then I'm a very SPIRITUAL atheist!

I've yet to understand what the difference between "religious" and "spiritual" is.

Maybe this will...

Galations 5:17-18: For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

theres alot more verses to explain what "religious" and "spiritual" is. Religious is when someone follows a set of rules, does them just because they know they need to. Its nothing meaningful and most likely they attack other christians. People who say your going to hell for this, or the God hates gay people thing from chickfla. Ya... thats religious for you.

Spiritual, is when like the verse I quoted, is when you live by the spirit. Being a "christian" is when it actually means something. If you just go to church just because, whats the point? Thats also where people who "speak in tongues" comes into play. Im sure I will get a logical response on this.....