Getting worse

[jen_soccer13]

I haven't posted here in a long time cuz I feel like a bother...not sure why I am posting now.

Anyway, I have now been home from college for a week. Home is a bad place and when I am here I cut a lot more than normal. I have been going deep. Last night I cut pretty deep....I couldn't get it to stop bleeding.....probably needed stitches...I don't know...But the whole thing...didn't even scare me. I was happy that I did it that bad. Almost like then if I died it would just be accidental. I am hurting soo bad. I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep and never wake up. I have found myself praying to God to just take my life now. I hurt so bad and I can't hold on much longer. I can't find any reason to continue the fight. I don't know why I am posting here...not really much anyone can do for me....I dunno.
Sorry for bugging you all.
~Jennifer

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

I'm so sorry Jennifer! I've had a lot of those thoughts recently as well . All I can say is that God loves you, and he really does want you to feel better. He has a plan for you, and there is a reason why you're here. I know that sounds absolutely stupid when you feel so hopeless, but it's true.

Lord, please wrap your arms around Jennifer right now. Protect her and make your love and your presence very real to her in this time of pain. Help her to get through this and discover what you want her to do. Make the way clear for her, and giver her a way out of this pain Thank you Jesus. Amen.

 

[we5frogs]

jen - I am so sorry that you are in such pain, but I do know that I hear you, and more importantly God hears you, and I can only pray that you posting here was through the leading of the great Healer, who through the Spirit has guided you to bring you hurts here to us so that we can pray over them for you. As big as hurts can feel sometimes, I have always taken the greatest comfort from knowing that there is no time that He leaves us alone to go through them. He came down here among us so that He could know what we feel, what we need, and how to walk us through any valley we come across. He really is walking hand in hand with us. He feels your physical pain, He feels you mental pain, He feels your spiritual pain.

I will be praying for you

 

[Bevlina]

Jen ..... all I can say in this thread is .....
And Godspeed you to recovery .....

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

First of all... I want to say... you are NOT a bother. Second... I know what your going through and I can totally relate. And third... It will be ok.

-Jo.

 

[Cat59]

Lots of and going up for you!

 

[Godsgirl481]

I haven't posted here in a long time cuz I feel like a bother...not sure why I am posting now.

Anyway, I have now been home from college for a week. Home is a bad place and when I am here I cut a lot more than normal. I have been going deep. Last night I cut pretty deep....I couldn't get it to stop bleeding.....probably needed stitches...I don't know...But the whole thing...didn't even scare me. I was happy that I did it that bad. Almost like then if I died it would just be accidental. I am hurting soo bad. I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep and never wake up. I have found myself praying to God to just take my life now. I hurt so bad and I can't hold on much longer. I can't find any reason to continue the fight. I don't know why I am posting here...not really much anyone can do for me....I dunno.
Sorry for bugging you all.
~Jennifer

What's going on at home? Maybe if you talked about it here, it would make you not want to cut as bad....

 

[jen_soccer13]

Well, things are getting better now. I left home. Long story. The only times I am really bad is when I have flashbacks at night or when I keep getting e-mails from family. Other than that I am now with a family that is loving me and taking care of me.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Well, things are getting better now. I left home. Long story. The only times I am really bad is when I have flashbacks at night or when I keep getting e-mails from family. Other than that I am now with a family that is loving me and taking care of me.

That's really good...I am very happy for you....

 

[Bevlina]

Jen!!!!
Just take it easy Sweetie, baby steps, one day at a time. In six months, we won't know you!

 

[TheMainException]

wow.....your words express my thoughts so well "I just want to curl in a ball and go to sleep and never wake up"...woah....that's me exactly. Find a reason........GO FIND A REASON! You need a reason...you always need a reason...I lost reason once (many times) actually.....but keep going...God is there for you......no matter what, no matter how far he seems.....he bled for you...and I'm not just talking about on the cross...I'm talking about in the garden too....he was so upset that he bled......can you imagine being that upset that you don't need a knife to bleed yourself? That's insane...but he did...he knows what inside pain feels like......it's harsh and he knows......but he loves you no matter what you choose.

 

[luv4godremains]

do you have dreams for the future? Thats what made me hold on, I can't say that it took the pain away, or that I haven't lost it at times, just sitting there in pain, about to do something i wouldn't even be able to live to regret, but, i can say that it helps! if you don't know what it is you want to do, cry out to God, ask him what his dream for you is, what his plan is, what it is that you and only you could do for him! it really helped me. I hope this post has helped you!
God bless.
xXx
hope you feel better soon!!!

 

[bassdrum1]

Well, things are getting better now. I left home. Long story. The only times I am really bad is when I have flashbacks at night or when I keep getting e-mails from family. Other than that I am now with a family that is loving me and taking care of me.

i'm glad things r getting better.i'll be praying. i know how flashbacks are and they stink. i have flashbacks of why i started cutting and want to do it again. i'm glad a family loves u and is taking care of u. even though i don't know u i love u to. take care. if u need to talk i'm here for u.

 

[ArmouredSaint]

every day is that new day that God gives us to try again.peace going out to ya today/night. we're just not here that long,friends... Ok,prayers to you.